Calls to scrap Australia's written citizenship test

The Daily Telegraph (Sydney) ^ | 28th July 2011 | Bruce McDougall and Tim Vollmer

[naturalman1975]

THE federal government faces calls to scrap Australia's written citizenship test because it is too hard for thousands of migrants who cannot understand the questions.

New Australians are refusing the test for fear of failing and being deported, with just 9043 migrants applying from October to December last year when there should have been about 30,000, The Daily Telegraph reported.

A submission to the Inquiry into Multiculturalism said almost 23 per cent of Sudanese migrants, 17.5 per cent of Afghanis and 16 per cent of Iraqis fail to pass the test on first or subsequent attempts.

The NSW Teachers' Federation demanded the government drop the written questions and return to a "basic spoken English test" as used in the past.

"The citizenship test requires near native-speaker competence in English," the federation's submission says.

[twister881]

Question #3: Which of the following is NOT an Australian table wine?

a. Black Stump Bordeaux
b. Sydney Syrup
c. Old Smokey 1968
d. Coq du Rod Laver 1970
e. Perth Pink
f. Melbourne Old-and-Yellow
g. Cuiver Reserve Chateau Bottled Nuit San Wagga Wagga
h. None of the above

[Paladin2]

The test should be to kiss a lower case “t” and take a leak on a crescent moon windowed outhouse door.

[Polybius]

Will the Aussies flunk you for writing "gray" instead of "grey" or "color" instead of "colour"?

It cost me points on English assignments in a Canadian high school in the late '70s.

In medical school, during the introductory classes to Physical Examination, we had a British female professor explaining how you can differentiate a "hydrocele" (fluid collection in the scrotum surrounding the testicle) from a solid tumor mass by "trans-illumination" (holding a penlight against the scrotum to see if the light shines through the fluid or is blocked by the solid mass).

< British accent> "So, you hold the scrotal mass between your fingers and then you trans-illuminate it with a torch." < /British accent>

OUCH!!!

In unison, the entire auditorium filled with 22 year old American medical students roared with laughter.

The more she scolded us for being immature about laughing at "holding a scrotal mass" the more the class laughed.

The more she blushed and turned beet red, the louder the class laughed.

Finally, somebody had mercy on her an explained to her what "torch" means in "American".

[naturalman1975]

Will the Aussies flunk you for writing "gray" instead of "grey" or "color" instead of "colour"?

Speaking as an Australian teacher, no. We are expected to teach the traditional British English spellings by default, but we accept legitimate variations from other common forms of English - most notably American English - as being correct as well. I will use 'colour' in the classroom but 'color' is an acceptable altenative in students work. Some words have more than one correct spelling.

[twister881]

Question #68: What are the names of the Philosophy Department faculty at the University of Walamaloo?

a. Bruce
b. Bruce
c. Bruce
d. Michael
e. Bruce
f. a, b, c, and e only
g. a and c only
h. d only
i. All of the above

[Paladin2]

What about Hobart Muddy?

[buccaneer81]

LOL!

[buccaneer81]

Sometimes it can have even more serious repercussions. In the Canadian Maritimes, a “case” of beer is 12 bottles. To get 24, you need to ask for a “flat” or a “twofour.”

[Two Kids' Dad]

No assimilation = No citizenship. Really simple concept.

[Myrddin]

I was on an assignment at SHAPE (Belgium) in the early 90's. The Belgians had an anti-drunk driving ad campaign going on billboards along the highway. The signs were in French. I didn't have a French-English dictionary handy, so I picked one up in the convenience store next to the cafeteria and tossed it into my backpack. When I returned to the hotel from a day at work, I pulled my new dictionary and proceeded to look up an unfamiliar French word. The English definition was "bloke". Oh crap. Now I need an English to American English dictionary too.

[Myrddin]

My dad went to dinner with another American naval officer while visiting an Australian port. His buddy summoned a waitress and requested a "napkin". She turned beet red and ran off. He wondered what manner of offense he had committed. He was informed that he should have requested a "serviette". The item he requested was appropriate for use in the ladies room.

[steve86]

My Canadian girlfriend would come to a McDonalds down here and ask “Have you a serviette?” followed by an entirely blank stare.

[Myrddin]

The misunderstanding runs both ways. If you're in Idaho or Utah, ask for "fry sauce". You'll be presented with essentially thousand island dressing sans the pickle bits. Ask the same question in San Diego and you'll get a blank stare.

My dad ordered a martini at a bar in Georgia. The bartender asked him, "With or without?". He asked, "With or without what?"....GRITS! The U.S. is so big we have regional vocabulary and customs that don't translate in a homogeneous fashion within our own country.

[steve86]

Yeah, in the “Have you a serviette?” case the employee was both unfamiliar with the word and puzzled by the grammar.

Here, older people like me know what “fry sauce” was from the old Arctic Circle chain. I fondly remember the taste. Oh wait, Dairy Queen still has it. Not sure whether it is the same ingredients as yours.

Don’t get me started on soda vs. pop. Just so it isn’t Pepsi.

[buccaneer81]

That was exactly the same case in Canada 35 years ago.

[newzjunkey]

I got 20 out of 20 on their linked practice test.

If I can do it, it's hard to imagine someone eager to become a citizen can't. This is just B.S.

It's the same multicultural balkanization "sensitivity" that is destroying in the U.S. and Europe.

Hold the line, Australia!

[dfwgator]

Rule #1 No poofters.
Rule #2 No member of the faculty is to maltreat the “Abos” in any way whatsoever—if there’s anyone watching.
Rule #3No poofters.
Rule #4 I don’t want to catch anyone not drinking in their room after lights out.
Rule #5 No poofters.
Rule #6 There is no... rule six.
Rule #7 No poofters.

[OldNewYork]

How many slabs fit in the back of a ute?

How many stubbies did Boonie down as a record on his flight between Aus and Pomleterre for one Ashes?

...

That kind of citizenship test?

[dfwgator]

How many points is a ‘behind’ in Australian Rules Football?

[OldNewYork]

Haha, just ask me rugby league questions.