8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband.

Shine via Yahoo ^ | Aug 1, 2011 | by Woman's Day

[Hootowl]

Also never point and laugh.

[Logic n' Reason]

You got that right....but just my luck I'd get a dem/lib/prog/pop judge!!!

Brings to mind...."She got the gold mine; I got the shaft!"

[AppyPappy]

They have to go when they hit puberty.

[Petruchio]

Wife stands naked in front of the mirror.....

‘I look old, fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.’

Husband replies ‘Your eyesight is very good.’

[MayflowerMadam]

“This applies to both partners in a marriage and if exercised more often than not would minimize the great amount of divorces me thinks.”

Thanks for pointing out that it’s a two-way street! The article was written as if husbands never say denigrating or mean things to their wives. Oy!

[Grammy]

Texted to my husband of 40 years this morning as he was off to work....

I thank God for you.

[mamelukesabre]

says who?

my mom is nearly 70 and never went unless pregnant...sometimes not even then.

[Hatteras]

Well, as long as I have one of these, I can get one of those anywhere!

[mamelukesabre]

My girlfriend is in her early 30s and has NEVER been to a gyno

[KarlInOhio]

“do these pants make my butt look fat”

Of course not. Your butt makes those pants look fat.

[Slings and Arrows]

Good advice, that.

[Joe 6-pack]

‘I look old, fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.’

Reminds me of the guy who felt he needed to spice up his marriage, so he went to Victoria's Secret and bought his wife a very expensive negligee. He had it giftboxed, and after purchasing a romantic card, left it on the bed next to his wife's pillow.

Later that evening while he was watching TV, his wife traipsed down the stairs clad in her new translucent garment. With a throaty, whisper she called out, "What do you think?"

The guy looked up from his TV, cleared his throat and said, "Well, I think for what I paid for that, they should have at least ironed it!"

[BitWielder1]

“My boyfriend will be released from jail today.”

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

*** All she needs to do is tell him that sex is painful because his unit is too big. He’ll be too busy strutting around to worry about sex.***

Or

“Your not enjoying it because of my other boyfriend. HE’S BIG!”

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

***woman’s day article “how to abuse and hurt your man LEGALLY”***

(man and woman making love)
She says..M-m-m-m-M! You make love just like a n———!”

Put that on someone’s wedding celebration card and see what happens!

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

***My wife learned about sex from a manual. He was the gardener. ***

My ex got on a bus and the driver popped the clutch. She fell down and before she could get up she made $500.00.

[hosepipe]

“Marriage is like a bank account... you put it in, you take it out, you loose interest.”- Prof. Irwin Cory..

[Opinionated Blowhard]

You are exactly right. This is a manipulative word game. If she wants help, she needs to ask for it and if I can’t do it right then, she can choose to do it herself or wait until I can help. Marriage works best if you are straight forward and don’t play these types of games.

[SgtHooper]

And his name was...Emanual.

[killermosquito]

In the first year of my marriage (Nov. will be 19 yrs) I used to say, “Honey, I’m sorry you got angry at me.” I said it with all innocence not fully understanding that I was supposed to be sorry for what I did rather than for her reaction to what I did. I’ve learned the difference...the hard way.