Why I am a Democrat

http://iowahawk.typepad.com ^ | 2003 | Iowahawk

[pwatson]

So some friends posted this in a email today an article written by a Conservative in jest about "Why I am a Democrat" Well it got us to thinking and it sounds like a good project to collect some Freeper ideas on this. Here is my stab at it:

I am a Democrat because unalienable rights come from GOD and as a new age atheist I believe our rights are privileges from an all knowing Government run by Liberal Intellectuals who are smarter than the hay seeds in fly over country who still cling to their guns and religion to explain a complex world beyond their limited brains.

[MtnClimber]

I am a democrapper because when I poo in my pants it makes me feel warm and comfortable. But I need those darned Republicans, who say I should not do this, to come change me because it is now their fault if I am not changed. The other democrappers all need to be changed too so Rethugs cannot say “take care of yourselves”!

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

I’m a democrat because I believe Mumia Abu Jamal was innocent of killing that police officer, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary, and I believe that Trayvon Martin was murdered in cold blood by George Zimmerman, despite the fact that no evidence on either side has been presented. I believe that O.J. Simpson was innocent, that nobody died in Harlem because of Al Sharpton, that Tawana Brawley was raped and defecated upon by white thugs, that the Duke lacrosse team committed heinous crimes against a poor black stripper, and that abortion is good but capital punishment is bad, unless the latter is meted out to white males who have been accused of murdering blacks.

[Volunteer]

I am a Dem because I am not totally hung up on money and I make bad choices. So, the government should give me your stuff man.

[elkfersupper]

I stand corrected.

[IMR 4350]

I am a democrat because I had the misfortune of dying 20 years ago.

[eyedigress]

I am a democrat because my school teachers told me so.

[trappedincanuckistan]

I am a Democrat because I’m smarter than you, and can run your life better.

[eyedigress]

That makes no sense, I’m a Democrat.

[alstewartfan]

*I* am a registurd Democrat becuz I tink that REAL men should be able to throw pink bowling balls down lanes proudly.

[Patrick1]

I’m a Democrat because there has to be a better way to live than being a free person working in a free market, has to be!

[trappedincanuckistan]

As a Democrat I don’t often use logic or reason before I say things. :)

[saywhatagain]

I am a democrat because the idea of being accountable to myself and others scare me.

I am a democrat because the idea of exceptionalism is a false notion. I can’t bear the idea to think that maybe i am too lazy or not good enough.

I am a democrat because the thought of a constitution that might have meaning and ideals beyond my capacity to understand if i ever decide to read it is more than I can expect of myself.

I am a democrat because it is too hard to think in a critical manner and possibly stop for a nano second to listen to an opposing view.

But most importantly, I am a democrat because the idea that all that i ever believed in, all that i ever lived . . . just might be wrong!

[SgtHooper]

I’m a democrat because I believe in the life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I’m a democrat because I believe the people should be responsible for their own actions.

I’m a democrat because God should be first before all things.

I’m a democrat because I love this country and a strong military.

Duh, but I don’t understand why people don’t vote for Obama.

[Zuben Elgenubi]

Gold star for you! Well done.

[Sivad]

I am a Democrat because I believe in fairness.

I am a Democrat because I know that those who have
need to share with those who have not.

I am a Democrat because it is easier to give people
stuff than it is to teach and inspire them to do for
themselves.

I am a Democrat because it doesn’t occur to me that
if there is no incentive to do better then everyone
will be poor and nobody will have nuthin’.

Did I say that I am a Democrat because I believe
in fairness?

I am a Democrat because when the world turns to
socialism I will be among the philosopher class
or in charge of distribution and others will work
in the fields and factories until the soil goes bad
or the factory machinery breaks down and nobody is
smart enough to fix it or invent new equipment.

[LittleBillyInfidel]

I am a democrat because I feel sorry for black people. I know in my heart that they - and all other non white people are inferior and they need “special help”... I like to perpetuate victimhood because it makes me look morally superior, not because I truly give a sh*t.

[ponygirl]

I am a Democrat because I hate my parents because they expected me to "become my own person" without any guidance or boundaries provided by them, which left me feeling as if I had been thrown into a rough sea without a life preserver and told to "figure it out." I am very, very angry as a result. Therefore, I look to other replacement adult figures and government to help me feel safe because I was never taught how to make decisions on my own.

(The first part was actually said to me by a Democrat.)

[3boysdad]

I’m a Democrat (liberal) because we’re all equal... except for the people we desperately need to lord over us and keep us safe.

Equallity drags us all to the lowest common denominator. And there is no such thing in reality.

[Cobra64]

WHY I WILL VOTE THE DEMOCRAT TICKET.....

• I will vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my dog.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 5 cents on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 18 cents isn't.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

• I will vote Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

• I will vote Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they are doing because they now think we are good people.

• I will vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

• I will vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

• I will vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the democrats see fit.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

• I will vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, that it is unlikely I'll ever have another point of view.

• I will vote Democrat because everyone except me will be responsible for my incompetence.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe in the Law of Unintended Consequences.

.

[rlmorel]

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