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Why I am a Democrat
http://iowahawk.typepad.com ^ | 2003 | Iowahawk

Posted on 03/29/2012 6:24:01 PM PDT by pwatson

So some friends posted this in a email today an article written by a Conservative in jest about "Why I am a Democrat" Well it got us to thinking and it sounds like a good project to collect some Freeper ideas on this. Here is my stab at it:

I am a Democrat because unalienable rights come from GOD and as a new age atheist I believe our rights are privileges from an all knowing Government run by Liberal Intellectuals who are smarter than the hay seeds in fly over country who still cling to their guns and religion to explain a complex world beyond their limited brains.


TOPICS: Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics
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1 posted on 03/29/2012 6:24:06 PM PDT by pwatson
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To: pwatson; dighton; IowaHawk; abbi_normal_2; acapesket; aculeus; afraidfortherepublic; Allegra; ...
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I'm temporarily handling the Iowahawk ping list while dighton is away.

Please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the list.

Please ping me to Iowahawk articles. Thanks. :)

2 posted on 03/29/2012 6:29:29 PM PDT by EveningStar
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To: pwatson

Did you forget the /S


3 posted on 03/29/2012 6:31:41 PM PDT by Dan(9698)
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To: pwatson

I am a DemocRat because what terrifies me more than anything is being alone.

And there is nothing more alone than being ridiculed by liberals.

I want to be in the clique that points and laughs at ‘them’ and fear being one of ‘them’ more than death itself.

You see, I can’t think for myself, which requires true individualism...not the fake individualism hidden by tattoos and piercings and liberal causes and liberal bumper stickers. So I have to admit, that when a group of liberals points and laughs at the only conservative in the room, I would never admit this to anyone, but I actually have respect for that one person who can stand his ground, has a solid argument in place (even though I laugh at it and call him stupid), and has enough backbone to face the laughter and not run from what he believes.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m a DemocRat because I’m a part of the herd, and as part of the herd, I must pretend to hate that shepherd who protects us.


4 posted on 03/29/2012 6:33:28 PM PDT by Ghost of Philip Marlowe (Prepare for survival. (Ron Paul is the Lyndon Larouche of the 21st century.))
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To: pwatson

I’m a democrat because I can’t spell Rapublicain


5 posted on 03/29/2012 6:37:33 PM PDT by Doogle (((USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated)))
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To: pwatson

That would be “inalienable rights”.


6 posted on 03/29/2012 6:40:18 PM PDT by elkfersupper ( Member of the Original Defiant Class)
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To: pwatson

I am a democrat because rather than take the risk of taking care of myself, I want my government to take care of me.


7 posted on 03/29/2012 6:42:53 PM PDT by henkster
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To: henkster

I’m a dddddddddd. I give up I can’t say it.


8 posted on 03/29/2012 6:45:38 PM PDT by duffee (NEWT 2012)
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because I simply cannot stand the fact that some people have more money than me.


9 posted on 03/29/2012 6:49:29 PM PDT by Kenny500c
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because I want to have good feelings. I get good feelings when everyone is equal.

I am a Democrat because the economy confuses me, and I would rather have someone else make my decisions.


10 posted on 03/29/2012 6:51:11 PM PDT by lurk
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To: pwatson

Translation - “You people are too stupid to know what is best for you. Leave that to the people who only want your money and your vote.”


11 posted on 03/29/2012 6:51:47 PM PDT by BillT (If you can not stand behind our military, you might as well stand in front of them!)
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because I am so filled with hate that I can barely breathe.

I am a Democrat because I feel inferior to others in every important way, despite pretending I am better, smarter and more deserving than them in every way. I am a victim of “life’s lottery.”

I am a Democrat because I believe that my ends justify any means I can use to reach them, no matter who is hurt or even killed, as long as it isn’t me.

I am a Democrat because I believe that man, not God, is supreme. The Bible should be rewritten to reflect this.

I am a Democrat because I believe that other people are using up resources that should only be mine. They should be confined and starving in crowded, dirty cities, because only “the elite” deserve to enjoy nature, life and abundance. The Hoi Polloi will just ruin it.

I am a Democrat because I believe I should have sex any time and with anyone I want, whether they want to or not, and without any responsibility on my part.

I am a Democrat because I believe that other people should pay for everything I want, as often as I want. I want slaves to obey my whims, and I want them to show gratitude for my mastery over them. I want my slaves to be and feel as inferior and dependent on me as possible.

I am a Democrat because Republicans are representative of much of what I hate. They are happy, and they have loving families, and they have honor and bravery, and people like and respect them for what they have done and who they are, and this is not right or fair.

I am a Democrat because this is a republican country, and I hate it for everything it stands for. Mostly for standing in the way of what I want.


12 posted on 03/29/2012 6:51:54 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy ("Be Brave! Fear is just the opposite of Nar!")
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To: pwatson
"Why I am a Democrat"

I.Q. isn't high enough to qualify for any other party?

13 posted on 03/29/2012 6:53:19 PM PDT by Mad Dawgg (If you're going to deny my 1st Amendment rights then I must proceed to the 2nd one...)
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To: pwatson

I’m a democrat because thinking things through is hard


14 posted on 03/29/2012 6:54:25 PM PDT by muir_redwoods (No wonder this administration favors abortion; everything they have done is an abortion)
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To: elkfersupper

http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/unalienable.htm
The question is often asked, “Is the word in the Declaration of Independence unalienable or is it inalienable?”

The final version of the Declaration uses the word “unalienable.” Some earlier drafts used the word “inalienable,” which is the term our modern dictionaries prefer. The two words mean precisely the same thing.


15 posted on 03/29/2012 6:54:25 PM PDT by pwatson
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To: pwatson

If I were a Democrat it would be because I feel that a 2 cents per gallon profit to the oil companies is obscene but an 18.4 cents per gallon tax to the federal government isn’t.


16 posted on 03/29/2012 6:54:35 PM PDT by Bob
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To: pwatson

I’m a democrat because I never *could* get the hang of getting up in the morning.


17 posted on 03/29/2012 6:54:53 PM PDT by Gay State Conservative (Jimmy Carter Is No Longer The Worst President To Have Served In My Lifetime.)
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To: elkfersupper

http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/unalienable.htm
The question is often asked, “Is the word in the Declaration of Independence unalienable or is it inalienable?”

The final version of the Declaration uses the word “unalienable.” Some earlier drafts used the word “inalienable,” which is the term our modern dictionaries prefer. The two words mean precisely the same thing.


18 posted on 03/29/2012 6:55:03 PM PDT by pwatson
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To: lurk

I am a democrapper because when I poo in my pants it makes me feel warm and comfortable. But I need those darned Republicans, who say I should not do this, to come change me because it is now their fault if I an not changed. The other democrappers all need to be changed too so Rethugs cannot say “take care of yourselves”!


19 posted on 03/29/2012 6:58:11 PM PDT by MtnClimber (BHO - If I had a son he would have a screwdriver and steal jewlery from the 1%. bitc*es!)
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To: pwatson
I am a Democrat because I hate babies and like seeing them aborted and their body parts sold.

I hate Republicans because....well, because.

I am a Democrat because I love never having to make sense, endure accountability or responsibility, making up the rules as I go along.

I am a Democrat because I never have to use reason to defend any of my positions.

I am a Democrat because even though most of us are 1% I am down with the 99%.

I am a Democrat because I think my rights are given only by the government. God has nothing to do with where my rights come from—in fact, God has nothing to do with anything. I am my own God.

I am a Democrat because other people SHOULD pay for everything I want, even condoms and birth control pills.

I am a Democrat because I hate America, the Constitution, and myself.

I am a Democrat because I am an enemy of freedom.

20 posted on 03/29/2012 6:58:30 PM PDT by exit82 (Democrats are the enemies of freedom. Be Andrew Breitbart.)
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To: lurk

I am a democrapper because when I poo in my pants it makes me feel warm and comfortable. But I need those darned Republicans, who say I should not do this, to come change me because it is now their fault if I am not changed. The other democrappers all need to be changed too so Rethugs cannot say “take care of yourselves”!


21 posted on 03/29/2012 6:58:35 PM PDT by MtnClimber (BHO - If I had a son he would have a screwdriver and steal jewlery from the 1%. bitc*es!)
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To: pwatson

I’m a democrat because I believe Mumia Abu Jamal was innocent of killing that police officer, despite mountains of evidence to the contrary, and I believe that Trayvon Martin was murdered in cold blood by George Zimmerman, despite the fact that no evidence on either side has been presented. I believe that O.J. Simpson was innocent, that nobody died in Harlem because of Al Sharpton, that Tawana Brawley was raped and defecated upon by white thugs, that the Duke lacrosse team committed heinous crimes against a poor black stripper, and that abortion is good but capital punishment is bad, unless the latter is meted out to white males who have been accused of murdering blacks.


22 posted on 03/29/2012 7:00:53 PM PDT by TruthShallSetYouFree (How bad would an Obama II administration be, without the constraints of re-election?)
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To: pwatson

I am a Dem because I am not totally hung up on money and I make bad choices. So, the government should give me your stuff man.


23 posted on 03/29/2012 7:02:20 PM PDT by Volunteer (Though I know that the hypnotized never lie, do ya? - The Who)
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To: pwatson

I stand corrected.


24 posted on 03/29/2012 7:02:51 PM PDT by elkfersupper ( Member of the Original Defiant Class)
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To: pwatson

I am a democrat because I had the misfortune of dying 20 years ago.


25 posted on 03/29/2012 7:08:19 PM PDT by IMR 4350
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To: pwatson

I am a democrat because my school teachers told me so.


26 posted on 03/29/2012 7:12:33 PM PDT by eyedigress ((zOld storm chaser from the west)/?)
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To: eyedigress

I am a Democrat because I’m smarter than you, and can run your life better.


27 posted on 03/29/2012 7:15:54 PM PDT by trappedincanuckistan (livefreeordietryin)
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To: trappedincanuckistan

That makes no sense, I’m a Democrat.


28 posted on 03/29/2012 7:17:35 PM PDT by eyedigress ((zOld storm chaser from the west)/?)
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To: pwatson

*I* am a registurd Democrat becuz I tink that REAL men should be able to throw pink bowling balls down lanes proudly.


29 posted on 03/29/2012 7:18:32 PM PDT by alstewartfan ( 27 of 36 Romney judicial appointments were DEMOCRATS!!!!!)
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To: pwatson

I’m a Democrat because there has to be a better way to live than being a free person working in a free market, has to be!


30 posted on 03/29/2012 7:18:54 PM PDT by Patrick1 (" Let's all pray Kim Kardashian's divorce won't have an impact on her craft.")
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To: eyedigress

As a Democrat I don’t often use logic or reason before I say things. :)


31 posted on 03/29/2012 7:21:38 PM PDT by trappedincanuckistan (livefreeordietryin)
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To: pwatson

I am a democrat because the idea of being accountable to myself and others scare me.

I am a democrat because the idea of exceptionalism is a false notion. I can’t bear the idea to think that maybe i am too lazy or not good enough.

I am a democrat because the thought of a constitution that might have meaning and ideals beyond my capacity to understand if i ever decide to read it is more than I can expect of myself.

I am a democrat because it is too hard to think in a critical manner and possibly stop for a nano second to listen to an opposing view.

But most importantly, I am a democrat because the idea that all that i ever believed in, all that i ever lived . . . just might be wrong!


32 posted on 03/29/2012 7:24:07 PM PDT by saywhatagain
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To: pwatson

I’m a democrat because I believe in the life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I’m a democrat because I believe the people should be responsible for their own actions.

I’m a democrat because God should be first before all things.

I’m a democrat because I love this country and a strong military.

Duh, but I don’t understand why people don’t vote for Obama.


33 posted on 03/29/2012 7:28:23 PM PDT by SgtHooper (The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.)
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To: Volunteer

Gold star for you! Well done.


34 posted on 03/29/2012 7:33:55 PM PDT by Zuben Elgenubi
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because I believe in fairness.

I am a Democrat because I know that those who have
need to share with those who have not.

I am a Democrat because it is easier to give people
stuff than it is to teach and inspire them to do for
themselves.

I am a Democrat because it doesn’t occur to me that
if there is no incentive to do better then everyone
will be poor and nobody will have nuthin’.

Did I say that I am a Democrat because I believe
in fairness?

I am a Democrat because when the world turns to
socialism I will be among the philosopher class
or in charge of distribution and others will work
in the fields and factories until the soil goes bad
or the factory machinery breaks down and nobody is
smart enough to fix it or invent new equipment.


35 posted on 03/29/2012 7:36:55 PM PDT by Sivad (NorCal Red Turf)
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To: pwatson

I am a democrat because I feel sorry for black people. I know in my heart that they - and all other non white people are inferior and they need “special help”... I like to perpetuate victimhood because it makes me look morally superior, not because I truly give a sh*t.


36 posted on 03/29/2012 7:42:56 PM PDT by LittleBillyInfidel (This tagline has been formatted to fit the screen. Some content has been edited.)
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To: saywhatagain
I am a Democrat because I hate my parents because they expected me to "become my own person" without any guidance or boundaries provided by them, which left me feeling as if I had been thrown into a rough sea without a life preserver and told to "figure it out." I am very, very angry as a result. Therefore, I look to other replacement adult figures and government to help me feel safe because I was never taught how to make decisions on my own.

(The first part was actually said to me by a Democrat.)

37 posted on 03/29/2012 7:45:55 PM PDT by ponygirl (Be Breitbart.)
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To: pwatson

I’m a Democrat (liberal) because we’re all equal... except for the people we desperately need to lord over us and keep us safe.

Equallity drags us all to the lowest common denominator. And there is no such thing in reality.


38 posted on 03/29/2012 7:55:51 PM PDT by 3boysdad (The very elect.)
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To: Ghost of Philip Marlowe
WHY I WILL VOTE THE DEMOCRAT TICKET.....

• I will vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my dog.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 5 cents on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 18 cents isn't.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

• I will vote Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

• I will vote Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they are doing because they now think we are good people.

• I will vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

• I will vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

• I will vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the democrats see fit.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite The Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

• I will vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, that it is unlikely I'll ever have another point of view.

• I will vote Democrat because everyone except me will be responsible for my incompetence.

• I will vote Democrat because I believe in the Law of Unintended Consequences.

.


39 posted on 03/29/2012 7:59:34 PM PDT by Cobra64 (Common sense isn't common anymore.)
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To: pwatson

Ping for later.


40 posted on 03/29/2012 8:02:46 PM PDT by rlmorel (A knife in the chest from a unapologetic liberal is preferable to a knife in the back from a RINO.)
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To: pwatson

I am a democrat because I’m unwilling to accept that I am responsible for myself, my family, and my community.


41 posted on 03/29/2012 8:03:59 PM PDT by Oldeconomybuyer (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.)
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To: ponygirl
Sad but true.

Raising my children, their high school years in the early nineties, many parents expressed exactly as your aquaintence said.

Many parents shared that they DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT to influence their child to think any particular manner. They must be free to find and believe for themselves.

Of course it is ludricus for so many reasons forgetting that their teachers were more than happy to tell them how to think.

42 posted on 03/29/2012 8:10:04 PM PDT by saywhatagain
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because I likes free money.


43 posted on 03/29/2012 8:14:03 PM PDT by Tublecane
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because I can speak fluent Austrian and name most of the 57 states. Oh, and because my wife is finally proud of her country, so much so that she exports the kids to Mexico for Spring Break.


44 posted on 03/29/2012 8:21:48 PM PDT by Two Kids' Dad ((((( )))))
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To: pwatson

He’s a democrat cause his momma was drunk for 9 months and then dropped him on his head.


45 posted on 03/29/2012 8:22:37 PM PDT by Impy (Don't call me red.)
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To: pwatson
"Why I am a Democrat"

Because I was delivered by a drunk chimpanzee with a bbq fork, and my mother was addicted to crack.
46 posted on 03/29/2012 8:33:11 PM PDT by SpaceBar
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because the media tells me I am a homophobic racist if I wasn’t.


47 posted on 03/29/2012 8:43:24 PM PDT by TheCipher
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To: pwatson

I am a Democrat because I had a lobotomy.


48 posted on 03/29/2012 10:55:36 PM PDT by Schatze (It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.)
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To: IMR 4350
I am a democrat because I had the misfortune of dying 20 years ago.

Best one yet!

49 posted on 03/30/2012 5:07:20 AM PDT by faux_hog
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To: pwatson

I’m a Democrat, because my parents were, everyone I know is, and I don’t want to be different. Also, I don’t want to think about all that political crap. /s


50 posted on 04/06/2012 12:35:51 PM PDT by Forgiven_Sinner (Seek you first the kingdom of God, and all things will be given to you.)
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