Why I am a Democrat

http://iowahawk.typepad.com ^ | 2003 | Iowahawk

[EveningStar]

I'm temporarily handling the Iowahawk ping list while dighton is away.

Please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the list.

Please ping me to Iowahawk articles. Thanks. :)

[Dan(9698)]

Did you forget the /S

[Ghost of Philip Marlowe]

I am a DemocRat because what terrifies me more than anything is being alone.

And there is nothing more alone than being ridiculed by liberals.

I want to be in the clique that points and laughs at ‘them’ and fear being one of ‘them’ more than death itself.

You see, I can’t think for myself, which requires true individualism...not the fake individualism hidden by tattoos and piercings and liberal causes and liberal bumper stickers. So I have to admit, that when a group of liberals points and laughs at the only conservative in the room, I would never admit this to anyone, but I actually have respect for that one person who can stand his ground, has a solid argument in place (even though I laugh at it and call him stupid), and has enough backbone to face the laughter and not run from what he believes.

I guess what I’m saying is that I’m a DemocRat because I’m a part of the herd, and as part of the herd, I must pretend to hate that shepherd who protects us.

[Doogle]

I’m a democrat because I can’t spell Rapublicain

[elkfersupper]

That would be “inalienable rights”.

[henkster]

I am a democrat because rather than take the risk of taking care of myself, I want my government to take care of me.

[duffee]

I’m a dddddddddd. I give up I can’t say it.

[Kenny500c]

I am a Democrat because I simply cannot stand the fact that some people have more money than me.

[lurk]

I am a Democrat because I want to have good feelings. I get good feelings when everyone is equal.

I am a Democrat because the economy confuses me, and I would rather have someone else make my decisions.

[BillT]

Translation - “You people are too stupid to know what is best for you. Leave that to the people who only want your money and your vote.”

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

I am a Democrat because I am so filled with hate that I can barely breathe.

I am a Democrat because I feel inferior to others in every important way, despite pretending I am better, smarter and more deserving than them in every way. I am a victim of “life’s lottery.”

I am a Democrat because I believe that my ends justify any means I can use to reach them, no matter who is hurt or even killed, as long as it isn’t me.

I am a Democrat because I believe that man, not God, is supreme. The Bible should be rewritten to reflect this.

I am a Democrat because I believe that other people are using up resources that should only be mine. They should be confined and starving in crowded, dirty cities, because only “the elite” deserve to enjoy nature, life and abundance. The Hoi Polloi will just ruin it.

I am a Democrat because I believe I should have sex any time and with anyone I want, whether they want to or not, and without any responsibility on my part.

I am a Democrat because I believe that other people should pay for everything I want, as often as I want. I want slaves to obey my whims, and I want them to show gratitude for my mastery over them. I want my slaves to be and feel as inferior and dependent on me as possible.

I am a Democrat because Republicans are representative of much of what I hate. They are happy, and they have loving families, and they have honor and bravery, and people like and respect them for what they have done and who they are, and this is not right or fair.

I am a Democrat because this is a republican country, and I hate it for everything it stands for. Mostly for standing in the way of what I want.

[Mad Dawgg]

"Why I am a Democrat"

I.Q. isn't high enough to qualify for any other party?

[muir_redwoods]

I’m a democrat because thinking things through is hard

[pwatson]

http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/unalienable.htm
The question is often asked, “Is the word in the Declaration of Independence unalienable or is it inalienable?”

The final version of the Declaration uses the word “unalienable.” Some earlier drafts used the word “inalienable,” which is the term our modern dictionaries prefer. The two words mean precisely the same thing.

[Bob]

If I were a Democrat it would be because I feel that a 2 cents per gallon profit to the oil companies is obscene but an 18.4 cents per gallon tax to the federal government isn’t.

[Gay State Conservative]

I’m a democrat because I never *could* get the hang of getting up in the morning.

[pwatson]

http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/unalienable.htm
The question is often asked, “Is the word in the Declaration of Independence unalienable or is it inalienable?”

The final version of the Declaration uses the word “unalienable.” Some earlier drafts used the word “inalienable,” which is the term our modern dictionaries prefer. The two words mean precisely the same thing.

[MtnClimber]

I am a democrapper because when I poo in my pants it makes me feel warm and comfortable. But I need those darned Republicans, who say I should not do this, to come change me because it is now their fault if I an not changed. The other democrappers all need to be changed too so Rethugs cannot say “take care of yourselves”!

[exit82]

I am a Democrat because I hate babies and like seeing them aborted and their body parts sold.

I hate Republicans because....well, because.

I am a Democrat because I love never having to make sense, endure accountability or responsibility, making up the rules as I go along.

I am a Democrat because I never have to use reason to defend any of my positions.

I am a Democrat because even though most of us are 1% I am down with the 99%.

I am a Democrat because I think my rights are given only by the government. God has nothing to do with where my rights come from—in fact, God has nothing to do with anything. I am my own God.

I am a Democrat because other people SHOULD pay for everything I want, even condoms and birth control pills.

I am a Democrat because I hate America, the Constitution, and myself.

I am a Democrat because I am an enemy of freedom.