Posted on 04/11/2013 8:42:40 AM PDT by Impala64ssa
Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad blamed Jews today for the "global scourge of erectile dysfunction."
In a speech broadcast on state television, the Islamic firebrand claimed an international Jewish cabal is provoking male impotence though chemicals in bottled water and then making billions by treating the syndrome with pharmaceutical drugs like Viagra.
In the middle of one of his more typical rants against Israel, the United States, and global Zionism, Ahmadinejad unveiled his latest conspiracy theory.
"One of the most insidious new methods of global Zionist oppression is the effort to sap the life-forces of non-Jews around the world," he thundered.
"According to my closest advisers, almost 95 percent of Iranian men now have difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection. I have to admit that on very rare occasions, I have had such trouble myself, despite my legendary virility.
"Clearly we see the work of the Zionists in this situation. Why else would good Muslim and Christian men everywhere be suffering this embarrassing lack of manly function?"
Flaccid Argument
Ahmadinejad then detailed how he believes Jews have created this epidemic of male impotence.
"Jewish interests have taken financial control of all the bottled water companies in the world," he explained. "They have used the dominance to slip chemicals into our bloodstreams, which destroy our ability to become erect.
"Very attractive, sexually vibrant men have unwittingly become victims of this humiliating condition. But the Jew is not content to humiliate his enemies. He must bankrupt them too. And so they have created a cure for this induced disease - drugs such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.
"Hard working men all over the world are spending billions on such cures just to keep themselves sexually viable. Many are facing complete financial ruin.
"And who sells these drugs? Just look at these pharmaceutical companies: Pfizer, Merck, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Glaxo Smith Kline - these are all Jewish names!
"We must unite to fight this conspiracy, beginning with a complete ban on bottled water in our country and a lawsuit seeking compensation for all the money Iranian men have spent on these terribly expensive erection pills."
Ahmadinejad has been president of Iran since 2005. He is known for his staunchly anti-Jewish views. Political observers in Tehran expect a ban on bottled water to be enacted within weeks.
I think he’s jealous at all the attention the little kid in NK has been getting lately.
Mahmoud’s having problems.
I immediately thought of this dialogue from Dr. Strangelove and no doubt so did you. :-)
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen... tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: [somewhat embarassed] Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
Ahmadinejad is just practicing excuses to try out on his goat.
“I think the primary cause of muslim ED is it’s twisted obsession with buttholes — usually male buttholes.”
But you need to add to that impregnating their female first cousins. These sixth century throwbacks have the IQ’s of a tree frog from their inbreeding. My apologies to the tree frogs.
Biden making stupid comments about guns. AJ making stupid comments about ED. Has anyone seen the two together in the same room?
The NappyOne
” the Egyptian men are going to squeal like little girls.”
Happens frequently when Muslim men ‘get together’.
LOL, it’s too funny how that movie was so timeless!
His meds must be unavailable again.
Thinking about it, if Israel and the US were as evil as they keep portraying us,We would have taken over the world a long time ago.
Bump for later read .............................................................................................. FRegards
As a rule of thumb the bigger the p**ck the small the d**k.
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