Posted on 01/12/2014 11:03:52 AM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
Experts agree that 2013 was the most racist year since the one that started the Civil War. Everywhere you looked someone or something was being racist, even asparagus. Most of these ten commercials were from 2013, and they were all racist, including the one made by a black guy. It’s racist to criticize the president, so in a year where his approval sank to an all-time low, it’s clear our prejudice has climbed to an all-time high. (It has nothing to do with the part where he lied about Obamacare and spent more time building a defective website than Roosevelt spent defeating the Nazis.) Here are 20 more racist things that prove 2013 was nothing more than a giant Klan rally.
1. THE WORD “OBAMACARE” I don’t care if Obama himself calls it Obamacare. It’s a word used by white men when they’re criticizing a black president; ergo, it’s racist. “Ergo” is also racist because it sort of sounds like “Negro.”
2. THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS Even though he lives in DC, one word Obama does not use is “Redskins,” and he told the team they should consider a change. Referring to Indians in any way is likely racist, and drawing a cartoon of one is even worse than drawing a cartoon of Muhammad.
3. SAYING SANTA IS WHITE This is racist not because he’s white but because he doesn’t exist or something.
“When everything is racist, nothing is. Isn’t that the end of racism?”
4. DUCK DYNASTY This show is racist because it features rednecks and a lot of them are racist. I mean, look at them. They look the way the guys in those KKK robes probably look when they’re not wearing their robes and hunting for blacks. The show’s dad Phil Robertson recently relayed his experience working with blacks picking cotton, and he said the ones he met seemed perfectly happy. This is tantamount to saying slavery didn’t happen. What’s next, letting people play their guitars in a place where slaves once were? To make matters worse, the Robertson family was recently discovered to have a lot in common with the cops who sodomized Abner Louima.
5. THE SECOND AMENDMENT Basically, any laws that don’t restrict guns are racist. The Trayvon verdict taught us that Stand Your Ground laws are really just a license to randomly shoot black kids. The fact that 93% of black murder victims were killed by other blacks (often with an illegal gun) is a hatefact, and hate is not to be tolerated in any form.
6. THE TEA PARTY First they may have said nigger and now they’re secretly thinking it? What is it going to take to shut them up? Though there is no evidence the Tea Party is racist, it’s obvious to anyone with a brain that their brains are.
7. VOTER REGISTRATION Asking voters to have a reasonable amount of ID wasn’t always insane. Back when George W. Bush won, voter fraud was rampant. However, when Obama was running, voter fraud didn’t exist. Trying to enforce any kind of standards is ultimately attacking blacks who can’t be bothered with standards. It’s a trick Republicans do to prevent Democrats from voting. Of course, if it looks like a Republican candidate is doing well in 2016, voter fraud may become an issue again and we will have to start regulating elections more strictly.
8. STOP AND FRISK Laws that have police asking black people questions are racist. This is true even if they stop whites at a rate disproportionately higher than the quotient of whites who are murder suspects, and it’s also true if this procedure saves lives. Why, it’s even racist if it saves black lives and makes black neighborhoods safer. The point is, anything that annoys one black person is wrong, even if he was annoying tons and tons of black people.
9. ENFORCING IMMIGRATION There are few things more racist than calling illegal aliens illegal. Being a person can’t be illegal. The only thing worse than using this Mexican N-word is suggesting they reverse their crime and return home. Actually, it’s more than racist. It’s “horrific.”
10. CHRIS CHRISTIE While pushing for a school voucher program that would help black kids get into private schools, Christie said discrimination is bad and added that he’s sad an “African-American female speaker of the Assembly” is blocking the bill. Forget the discrimination part and the part about the voucher helping poor black kids. Focus on the part where he noticed a woman is black. OK, now become “appalled.”
11. BEING PRO-LIFE It’s racist to murder black babies. If you do it, you will go to jail. However, if you’re black, then it’s racist to not murder black babies. Get it? Abortionist Kermit Gosnell’s defense attorney Jack McMahon thought we were being way too hard on a guy who simply snipped a couple spinal cords of a tiny amount of babies that were just a few weeks away from their due date. McMahon recognized the trial for what it really was: an “elitist, racist prosecution.”
12. BATKID Remember that sick kid that San Francisco turned into Batman and gave him the adventure of a lifetime? Racist. They could have used that money to save Africans. Sending money to Africa should always be our top priority, but nooo, they had to blow it all on some stupid white male with cancer.
13. LETTING KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS Jimmy Kimmel allowed a kid to quip that we should get out of debt by killing everyone in China. This is racist because it teaches kids that killing everyone in China is something adults believe because they allow kids to say it.
14. ASIAN PRIVILEGE To talk about white privilege is cool. To use a metaphor like calling it an “invisible backpack” that whites get to unpack everywhere is awesome. However, to reprint these essays and swap “white” with “Asian” is almost as racist as encouraging kids to kill everyone in China. White people are only successful because they ripped off everyone else. When people of color are successful, it’s because they overcame that. Being smart and working hard have nothing to do with it.
15. SAYING INDIANS LOOK LIKE PAKISTANIS There are a lot of extremist Muslims in Pakistan, and although that country only declared its independence from India 58 years ago, to remark that a woman of Indian descent resembles a terrorist proves America is racist, even if the person who said it is a kid and she said it on Twitter.
16. NOT WANTING TO PAY TONS OF TAX It’s a given that welfare (or any kind of government program) is great for blacks. If you want smaller government, you want less stuff for blacks and that’s even worse than racist. It’s genocide. Republicans can’t say this outright, so they speak in code: “I don’t like giving tons of tax dollars to incompetent robots that blow it on people who are perfectly capable of working.” To notice that “people are most likely to find a job just as their unemployment benefits run out” is super-duper racist.
17. TWERKING As we learned from the racist commercial that depicted a white guy doing a Jamaican accent, doing anything that your race had nothing to do with is racist. When Miley Cyrus shook her ass like urban ladies often do, it was the exact same as putting on a minstrel show. From now on, white pop stars can only dress like cowgirls and they can either line-dance or get their white asses off the goddamn stage.
18. HALLOWEEN This is easily the most racist holiday of the year, because people put on costumes pretending to be something they are not. If it’s not a white person dressing up as a white person, it’s appropriation. However, that doesn’t mean a Latina can dress as Dora the Explorer. That’s racist, too. Most agree that this was the most racist Halloween to date because one person dressed as Trayvon and another probably dressed up in blackface.
19. TOURÉ Speaking of pretending to be something you’re not, Touré is a great go-to guy for learning how blacks feel. Last year he told us that not liking disco is racist, but he topped it this year by criticizing “white leaders” such as Don Lemon, who looks like a Cadbury Creme Egg. Wait a minute—wasn’t this the year Touré himself was racist? How can the guy who says everything is racist be racist? When everything is racist, nothing is. Isn’t that the end of racism?
20. SAYING “ENDING RACISM” When the RNC said, “Today we remember Rosa Parks’ bold stand and her role in ending racism,” it was the same as saying, “Racism ended.” Simply stating someone worked at something is to imply they pulled it off, and that trivializes the most racist year in history, 2013. We need to remain steadfast in the belief that racism is getting worse every year. If we don’t, an entire industry will collapse, and instead of working for change, politicians and pundits will be forced to actually work for a change.
And conservatives are still racist after they die, but they try to make up for their sins by voting Democrat forever after.
These are Experts like the Experts who scare people with Global Warming.
I hope you're not calling me simple.
HOUGH 1966: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1-FCYPRbQ4&list=UUFDlhK80EdO28R-iGTXiGaw&feature=c4-overview
Shirley not !
Let me get 2014 off to a rousing racist start: Maobama, you are a demented failure, an arrogant Communist creep. Guilty as charged! LOL
didn’t read like satire to me. reads like the truth of how libtards think.
I can imagine him stewing in his juices knowing that his side has been effectively zinged.
Part funny, part statement of fact...*sigh*
Progressive snow!
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