Posted on 06/09/2014 8:21:05 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
A highly-sexed guinea pig broke out of its animal sanctuary enclosure and had sex with 100 females, park officials say.
The rodent, nicknamed Randy by staff at Hatton Country World in Warwickshire, is now set to father around 400 babies after getting nearly all of them pregnant.
Manager Richard Craddock said Randy looked like he ‘had a very good time’ after staff spotted the exhausted animal snoozing on a pile of straw.
‘We suspect a child may have placed him back in the wrong pen by accident after stroking him or Randy may have somehow broken out of his enclosure to get to the females,’ he explained.
‘We don’t know how long Randy was in the female enclosure but it could have been several weeks which would have given him time to go round the entire female population.’
Mr Craddock added: ‘He has now re-joined his male friends, clearly he’s got a lot of bragging to do.
‘He must have been quite a busy boy to get round that many girls.’
(Excerpt) Read more at metro.co.uk ...
That homophobe!
This farmer has a bunch of hens that are not producing many eggs. So one morning he goes out and buys a young horny rooster in an effort to get his hens back into an egg laying mood. He names him Jimmy. That first day Jimmy lays every hen on the farm and at the end of the day the farmer finds Jimmy trying to make it with his horse. The farmer walks over to Jimmy and says, “You’ve gotta slow down or you’re going to kill yourself!” The next day Jimmy lays every hen again, and at the end of the day the farmer finds the rooster now trying to make it with his cow. The farmer walks over to Jimmy and says, “I told you, you better slow down or you’re going to kill yourself.” The following morning Jimmy lays every hen again, but this time, he lays all the other farm animals as well. The farmer finds all his animals passed out from exhaustion. In the middle of all his animals is Jimmy, laying with his legs sticking straight up in the air and buzzards circling over head. The farmer walks up to Jimmy and says, “See, I told you if you didn’t slow down, you’d kill yourself.” Jimmy opens one eye, looks at the farmer and says, “Shhh... buzzards.”
#YesAllFemaleWhistlePigs are victimized by misogynistic rapist male whistle pigs.
Kind of makes you wonder if this is the first time. Maybe that’s how he got that name in the first place. Teachers thought it was funny, went right over the kids’ heads.
Laz is taking notes.
Arm the female whistle pigs!
Big Bill Clinton fan.....
His last words: “Soooo worth it...”
And no Hillary Rodham Guinea Pig to hold him back.
Farmer buys new young rooster to replace an old one.
First day old rooster tells young one that he doesn’t want the farmer to put in in the cook pot.
So he asks the young one to race around the house and show the farmer he is still spry, by the young one lagging back.
As the run past the farmer sitting on the front porch with a neighbor, the old rooster is 5 feet in front.
The farmer picks up his shotgun and blows the young rooster to pieces.
Then tells his friend, thats the fourth queer rooster I’ve had this week.
That was his pick-up line.
LOL
"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"
Always starts with a ‘hug’, lol.
Why am I thinking of the episode of South Park where the Peruvian Guinea pigs started causing chaos like Godzilla?
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