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Next Class of Aircraft Carriers Announced - USS Clinton
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Posted on 10/19/2001 7:06:35 AM PDT by SAMWolf
Newport News,Va.
The first ship of the next class of carriers will be the USS Bill Clinton. It will boast the ability to steer a course straight down the middle, but will have a tendency to veer to the left or toward large sums of money. It will be fueled by an unending supply of testosterone, which perpetually replenishes itself. Its presence will always be marked by chaos and destruction, but there will never be enough evidence to prove that it was really there. Maintenance of this class will be a nightmare as items will constantly disappear from the aircraft and wardroom furniture will mysteriously vanish.
Its sister ship, the USS Hillary Rodham, will easily steer to the left or to the right, if you know what I mean. Keeping decklogs on this ship will be difficult, as there will be no knowledge of having been anywhere or having done anything. This ship will also run on testosterone but will require a much higher octane. This ship will be characterized by impulses to suddenly change homeports.
TOPICS: Announcements; Political Humor/Cartoons
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To: hobblemaster
THIS JUST IN: the current hostilities have finally given Bill Clinton a chance at immortality. He is now the only President to dodge the draft in two wars. Consistently, he is the only American President...
entitled to wear both The Islamic Distinguished Flying Carpet Ribbon and the Chinese Congressional Medal of Treason.
Capt. billy-BLYTHE---sacked!
To: Howlin
hilarious!
22
posted on
10/19/2001 7:42:47 AM PDT
by
xsmommy
To: SAMWolf
Should say; "veers left towards large piles of money and cocaine."
To: SAMWolf
All they need now is women on PMS to fly them.
To: SAMWolf
"It will be fueled by an unending supply of testosterone, which perpetually replenishes itself. "
Unlike older, nuclear type carriers, this new unit will operate on perverse propulsion, or "hedonism drive"
To: Howlin
The Captain of the USS Bill Clinton
To: hobblemaster
>>>don't forget the USS JANET RENO. It's a carrier and a sub.<<<
It also makes great milkshakes.
27
posted on
10/19/2001 7:53:08 AM PDT
by
fone
To: chriservative
>>>read the category<<<
lol! I had that split second of heartattack as well =)
28
posted on
10/19/2001 7:54:30 AM PDT
by
fone
To: SAMWolf
29
posted on
10/19/2001 7:54:40 AM PDT
by
SERE_DOC
To: fone
It's great for those big bonfires as well
To: SAMWolf
Maiden voyage of the U.S.S. Clinton
Freshly christened with a jug bottle of Mad Dog 20/20
To: TomGuy
Worth a repeat
32
posted on
10/19/2001 8:05:13 AM PDT
by
fone
To: SAMWolf
..and don't forget its service tender, the U.S.S. Monica Lewinsky.
33
posted on
10/19/2001 8:08:25 AM PDT
by
Eala
To: Howlin
Aircraft may be launched, but not recovered as the rear deck is covered with astroturf.
34
posted on
10/19/2001 8:08:50 AM PDT
by
kachina
To: SAMWolf
The new carrier based stealth aircraft is shown being launched from the deck of the USS Bill Clinton.
An anonymous Navy admiral stated "After 8 years of the Clinton administration, it's all we could afford."
To: fone
And Monica didn't get those round lips from eating square meals,
??????What scares the hell out of an afghani at a bingo parlor?
When the number B-52 is announced
36
posted on
10/19/2001 8:09:50 AM PDT
by
MJY1288
To: SamAdams76
Maiden voyage of the USS Clinton?
I'm confused. Is the USS Clinton towing or being towed?
37
posted on
10/19/2001 8:13:40 AM PDT
by
Smedley
To: SAMWolf
I wish you had put 'humor' in the title, you might have stopped my heart.
To: SAMWolf
The USS Clinton will notorious for discharging it seamen.
(Sorry, couldn't resist.)
39
posted on
10/19/2001 8:20:32 AM PDT
by
oyez
To: SAMWolf
Keeping decklogs on this ship will be difficult... Yes, but every couple of years or so, huge boxes of them will appear in apparently obvious places: the quarterdeck, the bridge, the messdecks, the ship's store, etc. Capt. Hillary, will of course, have no idea how they got there.
40
posted on
10/19/2001 8:26:08 AM PDT
by
Lou L
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