Posted on 02/08/2002 7:26:11 AM PST by Lazamataz
Washington D.C. (UPA) -- In a stunning report, something is going on, reports a government agency Thursday. This happened over three times in three weeks, someone in this agency was quoted as saying.
“You’d be surprised what happens,” said this employee, “sometimes, things happen and I am not even made aware of it.” The employee would neither confirm nor deny that something went on, despite a Congressional Inquiry into the sequence of events.
Something happens on a regular basis somewhere in the globe, confirmed the Center for Responsive Stuff. Rates of things occurring have been rising worldwide ever since the government began keeping track of things, with a sharp dip in things not happening in February, bringing the total of stuff going on to an all time high. The incidence of foreign activity has sharply increased, as well, bringing the activity deficit to a relative parity with some other place somewhere. >{? “Surprisingly, things happen in foreign countries too,” said the Chief Counsel of Affairs of the United Nations, “and it is very difficult to keep track of it all – even in this highly computerized information age we are in.”
The quantity of things going on elsewhere has greatly concerned the Pentagon, who tries to keep strict controls on the various things going on. Said General Ween: “If things are allowed to get out of hand, there is just no telling, I mean, who knows where it will go or how bad it can get.” The President has budgeted for a sharp increase in monitoring capability for the US military in response to the threat of various things happening.
Done. Happened. Say 'bye-bye'.
We now return you to regular programming.
Three Charged in Reporter Kidnapping
KARACHI, Pakistan (AP) - Authorities on Friday charged three people with kidnapping of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, and police raided homes in search of relatives and friends of the top suspect in his abduction.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/fr/624317/posts
Hey Justin, "something happened". Time to blame Israel. Hurry! Let's see one of your hit pieces on Israel, like:
Why Something Happened and Why Israel is Behind It, By Justin Raimondo(unoriginal as @$ll just like your bash Israel pieces).
Dubya will give them jobs in the government to help keep track of stuff.
If a Møøse bites you in the forest and there's nobody there, do you still need a tetnus shot?
Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown
WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT, WILLIS???
Ted Howe, chief investment officer of the investment firm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe stated on CNBC “this is an unprecedented opportunity to buy some of the best companies at Blue Light Special prices” and explained that he had added to his K-Mart position.
Other analysts took a more cautious approach, recommending the total liquidation of all portfolios with the proceeds to be stuffed securely under the mattress and guarded by Doberman pincers. “You never know when the other shoe is going to drop” one opined.
It happened before, and if we but have but the patience to wait, I'll bet it will again.
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