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USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002
68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

Posted on 11/17/2002 11:43:07 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub

Military Jokes & Humor

Camouflage Uniform Wear Policies


MARINES: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

ARMY: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.

NAVY: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
(Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)

AIR FORCE: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.

An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?
The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossiple" as he raeches for the phone.
Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.
When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".
The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.
The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.
The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."

The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.


The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says
"Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Announcements; Extended News; Foreign Affairs; Free Republic; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: michaeldobbs; usocanteen
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To: RaceBannon
Something our peaceniks don't seem to understand....only because our military, past and present, have secured their freedoms, do they have the right to spew their dislike of America. Thanks for the cartoon. Point made!


241 posted on 11/18/2002 8:32:39 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: PhilDragoo; Kathy in Alaska

In Support Of Ted Maher, his family, friends, and supporters!!


242 posted on 11/18/2002 8:34:42 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub
What a wonderful fireplace. I'm freezing over here, UGH!!
243 posted on 11/18/2002 8:35:27 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: Johnny Gage
Thank you for the information!! Woohoo! Love it! Love it! Love it!!
244 posted on 11/18/2002 8:36:15 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: MoJo2001
Hey, Kid, I'm running two screens today trying to catch up, but I'm still a page behind. LOL! Processes running and so am I, back and forth between 2 computers.

"(Would I do something that??)" Hmmmm....let me think. Tap tap tap! Thanks for Charlie, on to Loretta.

245 posted on 11/18/2002 8:38:14 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: MoJo2001; All

bentfeather's a dream chaser

246 posted on 11/18/2002 8:39:33 PM PST by Soaring Feather
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To: Poohbah
Great real joke!
Thanks for stopping in the Canteen Brother
AND
Thank You for your service to our country.
247 posted on 11/18/2002 8:39:43 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: Kathy in Alaska; All
Today's thread has been great. Since 5 a.m. comes early, I'm going to call it a night.

[raising glass of warm milk in toast]:

To my fellow Americans and allies - thanks for sharing the laughs and more importantly, the pain. You all make me very proud. I appreciate your integrity and service.

Sweet dreams.
248 posted on 11/18/2002 8:40:15 PM PST by southerngrit
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To: Johnny Gage
Thanks Johnny for the Air Power post !!
249 posted on 11/18/2002 8:42:33 PM PST by Soaring Feather
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To: Ragtime Cowgirl
I'm recruiting for a virtual USO Canteen food poster each day.
Interested?
Pay = Satisfaction in knowing you made some military lurker happy.
AND
at least one *HUG* a day from me. LOL
250 posted on 11/18/2002 8:43:59 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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To: southerngrit
Good night, sleep well, and God bless you, southerngrit. Thank you for helping us all honor our troops and veterans and families and allies today. And thank you for helping to make the Canteen a piece of home for our protectors scattered all over the world.
251 posted on 11/18/2002 8:44:55 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: southerngrit
Good Night Southern, sleep well, thank you for being here!
252 posted on 11/18/2002 8:44:56 PM PST by Soaring Feather
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To: Dubya
Dubya, thank you so much for this story about Marine Lt. Clebe McClary (Ret.). What an inspiring story.
253 posted on 11/18/2002 8:47:14 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: bentfeather
Oh! That's so beautiful! Thank you for posting it!! WOOHOO!!
254 posted on 11/18/2002 8:49:36 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: Kathy in Alaska
*angelic smile* I'm sorry Ma that you are trying to catch up and that you would think that I would intentionally make it harder for you. Although, the more you write to me..the more I'm going to want to respond. LOL!
255 posted on 11/18/2002 8:50:42 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: bentfeather
Please give Nonie 2 a hug for me. She always brightens my day. And please thank her Mom for letting her come and play today.
256 posted on 11/18/2002 8:50:52 PM PST by Kathy in Alaska
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To: MoJo2001
:O)

You are welcome
257 posted on 11/18/2002 8:51:30 PM PST by Soaring Feather
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To: Kathy in Alaska; bentfeather
Yes,please tell Nonie to tell Ma to lighten up when it comes to me. *pouty face*
258 posted on 11/18/2002 8:51:44 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: Pookie Me
Where are you?? I wanted to tell you something of Samoan importance. (In other words, it's not really important to anyone but me..LOL)
259 posted on 11/18/2002 8:52:55 PM PST by MoJo2001
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To: Pat Bateman
Welcome to the Canteen Brother
Thanks for adding some humor!
260 posted on 11/18/2002 8:52:59 PM PST by 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
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