USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002

68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub and FRiends of the Canteen

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Military Jokes & Humor

Camouflage Uniform Wear Policies

MARINES: Work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.

ARMY: Will wear it anytime, anywhere.

NAVY: Will not wear camouflage uniforms, they do not camouflage you on a ship.
(Ship Captains will make every effort to attempt to explain this to sailors.)

AIR FORCE: Will defeat the purpose of camouflage uniforms by putting blue and silver chevrons
and colorful squadron patches all over them.

An Army General, a Marine General and a Navy Admiral are all sitting around discussing whose's service is better and whose troops are the bravest?
The Admiral (well into his second or third ice tea) announces to the group, " My SEALS are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossiple" as he raeches for the phone.
Well the other two commanders are in an uproar and each one promply calls for his best soldier.
When all three representives have arrived, the Admiral states "Since it was my idea, I'm first" and turning to the SEAL, he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark infested waters, climb up that shear cliff and return with with 2 bird eggs... unbroken of course.".
The SEAL (being the highly trained soldier that he is) turned runnig towards the cliff. After performing a triple-linddy into the water, the SEAL swam across the 10 miles (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs back over to the Admiral and hands him the 2 unbroken eggs.
The Marine General says "that wasn't nothing," and turning to the Force Recon Marine he says " I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff,then move across the 4 miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back 2 eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
And with that the Force Recon moved-out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the 2 eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the General, the Marine hands him the eggs.
The Army General then says "Very nice gentlemen, but heres true bravery" and turning towards his BEST (an Airborne Infantryman), he says "I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, thru the 4 miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back 2 eggs from the forest on the other side."

The Paratrooper looks at the General, then the cliff, and again back to the General, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR!", renders a proper hand salute and walks away.

The General turn towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says
"Now gentlemen, thats BRAVERY."

[E.G.C.]

MONACO, FREE TED MAHER NOW!!!!!!!

[firewalk]

Good morning

[MP5]

Welcome to the USO Canteen Brother!

Thank you! What ship did you serve on?

[MP5]

Thank you Kathy.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

New Thread

[blackie]

Canteen...Bump !!

[stand watie]

thank you ma'am!

free dixie,sw

[Robert A Cook PE]

They just commissioned our latest submarine.

Yep, the USS Monica, DD-36C.

Only goes down once, but it can stay down forever.

http://www.strangecosmos.com/view.asp?PicID=7018

[Feiny]

Check out this one:

[Robert A Cook PE]

Kathy.

Didn't see an answer to your question about the "sharp thingie" on the nose of the "Thunderchief" fighter jet.

You'll see them sticking out like on many of that era's supersonic and transsonic fighter jets:

There is no way to use a speedometer on an airplane of course: no tires!

But the pilot HAS to know his speed for navigating and planning missions, and to check against stalling. So, the designers stick a pipe into the airstream, and mesure how much force the air flowing down the pipe pushes against the little meter. Depending on air pressure (which varies with altitude and temperature) they then calculate speed and display it on the cockpit instruments. (All this instrumentation is part of what costs so much...)

To get airspeed indication, you have to "sample" the air well away from the front of the wing or fusalage, or the shock waves bounce around the tube and give you bad readings that jump up and down randomly.

So they stick the probe (the pipe) way out front of the jet. Since anything that sticks out creates drag, they have to make a stick point to reduce drag as much as possible.

Slower jets (like commercial ones) and prop airplanes are slow enough that the designers don't have to worry about supersonic shock waves hitting the instrument pipes, so they use short little tubes that you can't see from far off. They're present, but you can't see them.

[Kathy in Alaska]

Thank you very much. I figure the only way to find out the answers to some long standing questions is to ask. Your explanation was perfect for me to understand. Thank you again. Welcome to the Canteen. Hope you stop in again.

[WaterDragon]

I have to thank you for the reminders to write our service people. It's a very pleasant thing to do! And I have several family members serving, too.

[gorio]

BTTT!



Perfect for a desktop!

Coming at you!
Gorio