CNN DECLARES "All-Out War" AGAINST FOX NEWS

BSNN.net ^ | 03.07.03 | NathanPorter

[San Jacinto]

Picture James Carville as the CNN Information Minister.

Perfect!

[Illbay]

Oh, sure! And just 100 yards away elements of the CNN invading forces were parading through the streets!

[O.C. - Old Cracker]

Hilarious, but you didn't mention The Forehead!

[ErnBatavia]

Wait, where are the FOX Fan Legions?

FOX Fedayeen saddle up!

[amused]

Hilarious!

[ewing]

The FOX fans are waiting in the West New Jersey Petrolieum Fields to start the invasion of Atlanta..

[DD938]

CNN............

Cancelled News Network

[KansasCanadian]

It is obvious that Aaron Brown was taken out the first night in a decapitation strike. The dummy claiming to be Aaron Brown CNN has propped up night after night in front of the camera is clearly a cardboard cut-out.

My sources tell me that Aaron Brown was not decapitated, but was treated by Russian doctors for a series head wound. He was last seen at CNN headquarters, walking through pre-emptive smoky oil fires and glad-handing the staffers

[battlegearboat]

Your report is premature....

Aaron Brown has changed into his golf clothes and has hidden himself amoung other golfer's on a local municipal golf course.

This might have been a misguided decision on Brown's part as all golf courses are closed on Monday.

FOX Special Ops are, at this very momment, infiltrating all 19th holes around the greater metro area for signs of Brown and his henchmen. Developing...

[DoughtyOne]

The only problem with this attack description, is that CNN doesn't have this advanced equipment. They're using the likes of Zahn, Blitzer, Chung/King (takeout) against Hume, Smith, Cavuto, O'Reilly, Hannity/Colmes. We have the long range bombers, the cruise missiles and the precision bombs. They have the devisions in full retreat.

FoxNews has it's tanks in their palace, and they have Larry King on the air telling folks our troops are outside killing themselves.

Bagdad Bob has nothing on CNN. CNN should change their intials to HasBn.

[genefromjersey]

Whoa ! Who would want to invade ATLANTA ???

Calcutta, maybe, but Atlanta ??

[leadpenny]

Good stuff. I'm glad you have that Smirking Jerk Bill Press in there, even though he is now over at MSNBC and WMAL.

[The Shrew]

This was humorous but not outrageously funny because all humor has to have some basis in truth and it is impossible to imagine anyone at CNN having the capability to rally troops of any type. Now, had the author speculated on CNN being capable of sponsoring terrorism.... that would be more accurate!

Regards,

TS

[xp38]

That was one of Brit's doubles. He never goes out it public with the war on. :)

[KansasCanadian]

Aaron Brown has changed into his golf clothes and has hidden himself amoung other golfer's on a local municipal golf course.

Reporting from the 19th hole, Fox special ops has just replaced Brown's Pink Lady with an exploding Titlest Xout

[Steve0113]

ping -- this is too funny.

[Dutchgirl]

Obviously, Fox has already won, and CNN is just late to the hostilities. ;-D

Obviously, CNN is getting their copy of the NY Times a day late! ;D

[ewing]

Only the CNN Center in Atlanta, the light infantry march from New Jersey to Georgia will be the 'fastest in modern history'

[ewing]

Aaron Brown has retreated to Pine Valley Golf Club taking his two top commanders with him, Judy 'Minister of Information' Woodruff and Christianne 'Where's My 5 Star Hotel' Ammenpour.

[skinkinthegrass]

CNN = DNC = French = Germans