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CHIRAC CALLS FOR AN END TO FRENCH JOKES - Bush Blasts Proposal as 'Premature'
Borowitz Report ^

Posted on 05/30/2003 7:31:52 AM PDT by Sub-Driver

CHIRAC CALLS FOR AN END TO FRENCH JOKES

Bush Blasts Proposal as 'Premature'

French President Jacques Chirac today called for an "immediate cessation" of jokes about France now that the active combat phase in Iraq had concluded.

In an impassioned speech to the United Nations Security Council, Mr. Chirac said that if the time had come to lift sanctions against Iraq, ""then it is also time to stop calling the French 'cheese-eating surrender monkeys.'""

In addition, Mr. Chirac asked the U.S. to reverse its decision to rename French fries ""Freedom Fries,"" arguing that the derisive renaming of that popular delicacy was currently costing France billions of Euros in royalties every week.

In his most emotional appeal, Mr. Chirac asked that the U.S. stop referring to the French as "weasels" and refrain from gratuitous references to France's inexplicable love affair with the actors Jerry Lewis and Mickey Rourke.

"Get over it!" Mr. Chirac roared.

But Mr. Chirac's speech may have fallen on deaf ears at the White House, where President Bush today characterized the French President's request as "premature."

""The United States has no timetable for stopping making fun of the French," Mr. Bush said. "We'll stop ridiculing the French when we're good and ready, and not one day sooner.""

When told of Mr. Bush's statement, Mr. Chirac sighed deeply and said, ""I give up," to which Mr. Bush replied, chuckling, "Of course he gives up – he's French."

In other news, intercepted cell-phone conversations recently re-analyzed by the CIA now reveal that Saddam Hussein did not have ""weapons of mass destruction,"" as earlier suspected, but rather ""lessons in tax deduction.""

""The CIA regrets the error,"" Director George Tenet said.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: antifrenchhumor

1 posted on 05/30/2003 7:31:52 AM PDT by Sub-Driver
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To: Sub-Driver
Chirac also , in an aside, was head to denigrate the President , saying "Bush thinks 'merde' is a four-letter word.."
2 posted on 05/30/2003 7:37:51 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: Sub-Driver
I agree. Chirac, the ultimate French joke, should resign.
3 posted on 05/30/2003 7:42:45 AM PDT by kellynla ("C" 1/5 1st Mar Div VIet Nam '69 & '70 Semper Fi)
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To: Sub-Driver
The gum stuck to the floor on a new york subway can fight back better than the french.
4 posted on 05/30/2003 7:43:57 AM PDT by ctlpdad (note the small "l" in CT lp DAD!)
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To: Sub-Driver
Thanks for the laughter. This one's a keeper.
5 posted on 05/30/2003 7:46:35 AM PDT by sarasota
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To: Sub-Driver
Chirac is still the Howard Johnsons waiter but this time just waiting on upscale Euro$Elites.
6 posted on 05/30/2003 7:48:10 AM PDT by Helms (Dems Find Smoking Gun: 45-55 Loss in Senate, Bush Wins 2nd Term)
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To: ken5050

7 posted on 05/30/2003 7:48:18 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: kellynla

8 posted on 05/30/2003 7:49:46 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: sarasota

9 posted on 05/30/2003 7:51:35 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: Sub-Driver

10 posted on 05/30/2003 7:53:31 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: Sub-Driver
"...it is also time to stop calling the French "cheese-eating surrender monkeys."

Note to all Freepers; in the spirit of goodwill we will no longer use in describing the French the offensive term "cheese-eating surrender monkeys". Henceforth the new term for describing the French will be "Brie-chewing appeasement baboons".

Please make a note of this...

11 posted on 05/30/2003 7:54:21 AM PDT by Exeter
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To: uglybiker; Calpernia; HairOfTheDog

12 posted on 05/30/2003 7:54:49 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: Sub-Driver
> > > WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

French President Jacques Chirac:
Pourquoi à surender, mon ami.
(Why, to surrender, my friend.)

German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder:
Se pour rendre, évidemment!
(To surrender, obviously!)

Russian President Vladimir Putin:
Jemand zum surender zu finden?
(To find someone to surrender to?)

UN Secretary General Kofi Annan:
To veto the UN resolution.

Chief United Nations weapons inspector Hans Blix:
Ik zie geen kippen.
(I do not see any chickens.)
13 posted on 05/30/2003 7:55:12 AM PDT by Cyber Ninja (His legacy is a stain on the dress.)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
This is great! Keep 'em coming.
14 posted on 05/30/2003 7:57:02 AM PDT by sarasota
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To: Sub-Driver; ken5050; kellynla; ctlpdad; sarasota; Helms; TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
"http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/920297/posts">Bush: Not Clear France Concerned With US Security (More Crow Pie for Chirac)


15 posted on 05/30/2003 7:57:22 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (LIBERTY has arrived in Iraq - Now we can concentrate on HOLLYWEED!)
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To: Sub-Driver; ken5050; kellynla; ctlpdad; sarasota; Helms; TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
Bush: Not Clear France Concerned With US Security (More Crow Pie for Chirac)
16 posted on 05/30/2003 8:00:18 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (LIBERTY has arrived in Iraq - Now we can concentrate on HOLLYWEED!)
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Comment #17 Removed by Moderator

To: ctlpdad
Fruck the Fench and the horse they rode in on.
18 posted on 05/30/2003 8:07:36 AM PDT by el_texicano
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To: el_texicano

19 posted on 05/30/2003 8:09:51 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: Happy2BMe


20 posted on 05/30/2003 8:17:28 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: Sub-Driver
Ridicule? But...but...but it isn't ridicule at all. Yes, I do occasionally refer to ze arrogant, snail-eating, grape-stomping, galois-smoking, Jerry Lewis loving, cheese-eating surrender monkeys but I mean it in a perfectly nice way.
21 posted on 05/30/2003 8:17:53 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
EXCELLENT CARTOONS! Thanks for posting! My father, a combat veteran of WWI, would have really appreciated the outrage that Americans have shown. He was the ultimate patriot and warrior. He laid his life on the line for the French.
22 posted on 05/30/2003 10:33:44 AM PDT by kellynla ("C" 1/5 1st Mar Div VIet Nam '69 & '70 Semper Fi)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
Bump! Great cartoons! Thanks, needed comic relief!

23 posted on 05/30/2003 1:13:25 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: kellynla
Bump for your father!
24 posted on 05/31/2003 11:46:03 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: Calpernia
:-)
25 posted on 05/31/2003 11:46:38 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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To: Sub-Driver
Why do the French like to plant trees by the side of the road?













Germans prefer to march in the shade.
26 posted on 05/31/2003 11:50:26 AM PDT by Liberal Classic (Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentis telum est.)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
Oh really? Me thinks I'm forwarding this to the Legion, ROFL!!!!

Thanks TaRa! Don't you just love it when they come back for more >:)
27 posted on 05/31/2003 6:39:14 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
AAAAAHHHH! Is that a burka??????????
28 posted on 05/31/2003 6:45:27 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!

29 posted on 05/31/2003 7:03:39 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!

30 posted on 05/31/2003 7:04:35 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!

31 posted on 05/31/2003 7:06:38 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: Calpernia
"I'll be back."

...to shamelessly down load the graphics on this thread
32 posted on 05/31/2003 7:08:45 PM PDT by VOA
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!

33 posted on 05/31/2003 7:09:35 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!

34 posted on 05/31/2003 7:10:26 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: Exeter

Note to all Freepers; in the spirit of goodwill we will no longer use in describing the French the offensive term "cheese-eating surrender monkeys". Henceforth the new term for describing the French will be "Brie-chewing appeasement baboons".

Please make a note of this...

Sorry, I guess I missed your memo

35 posted on 05/31/2003 7:13:28 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: Sub-Driver
Hilarious - thanks for this one.

I love it when frogs grovel.
36 posted on 05/31/2003 7:15:35 PM PDT by lodwick (Cheers)
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To: All
WARNING! Ensure no liquids are in your mouth before you scroll down to this great pic!

Freeper is not responsible for damage to keyboards while viewing thread and drinking liquids.

37 posted on 05/31/2003 7:16:14 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: Calpernia

38 posted on 05/31/2003 7:23:45 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: Calpernia

CLICK

39 posted on 05/31/2003 7:26:59 PM PDT by Calpernia (The person who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.)
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To: Calpernia
LOL!!! I really like this one. LOL!!!
40 posted on 06/01/2003 6:41:30 AM PDT by TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!
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