Posted on 01/18/2008 11:26:07 AM PST by Revelation 911
Your are bidding on a .jpg file of the image shown. Thats right - I'll email it right to your emailbox. Use it was wallpaper or better yet, print it, laminate it and make placemats for the table and flop em under the kids soup. Makes a good teaching aid in the dangers of childhood obesity, public education, politics, and social welfare programs.
As your family enjoys this low quality .jpg for years to come...share with them some interesting facts about the model.
For years, he attended a small Church where I had the good fortune of being his pastor, where he professed a faith and attended numerous pot lucks (frequently empty handed and hungry) Unfortunately, and as God would have it, my appointment changed, and I soon retired. Recently, a number of congregants reunited at a local bowling alley to share some memories and a few frames of bowling. Now as Ive been a portly man all my life, I've thought much about the dangers of obesity - consequently, Ive lost 30#'s since October. The bad news it that Ive not replaced my wardrobe so things are a bit loose.
Upon the final frame of my game, the model snuck up behind (while I am holding the bowling ball) and grabbed both of my pockets and pulled them down - now this woldnt normally be a problem - except I lost weight (remember). Complicating the issue was my affinity for boxer briefs....which also got grabbed in the process. Suddenly and to my dismay, I found myself naked from the waist down holding a bowling ball (on a cold winters nite) with a large portion of my former congregation (and friends) staring on. Oddly, this placed his face next to areas that are best suited for sitting.
Now I am by no means a modest man and God has blessed me with a sense of humor that takes great glee in slack jawed humor... the kind befitting knuckledraggers and NRA members alike (yes I am one). But the real dilemma began as I now realized the clothing must be pulled back up. Dropping the ball, and facing the pins, I wondered ...do I turn around and bend over (remember..it was cold) or do I bend over (facing the pins) and completely scar the teens and adults within the group...(did I mention I have a bad knee - so I have to bend from the waist?).
You get the idea.....
This was the last time I saw him....The model, Im told, later drifted from job to job, living under the oleander bush behind the 7/11, where he could be heard at times bemoaning the perils of thunderbird wine and damp cardboard. Word has it he relocated to Escondido for a short time, where he raised small ponies, which oddly had been trained to bite the small chidren patronizing his farm. When that folded, he later worked in State politics, appearing at times on Nancy Grace in discussing lost or abducted farm animals.
Who cares about his misfortune though? weve got EBAY! - you can have this wonderful .jpg file (complete with blackout eye box) of a day when things were much different in his life. Where the gusto was sought and soiling yourself in laziness was a college stunt instead of the norm
Now some of you may be wondering at this point - how can a pastor be so vengeful when vengeance is the Lords?
I wrestled with that as well.........and with every single click of the 15 seconds of my life which could not be undone, rewound or erased from anyones mind...I figured - what the heck? - share the happier times of his life and give the proceeds of this auction to a local missionary to honduras weve come to know and love. There, she will use the proceeds of this auction to assist in the operation of a small school in the mountains, providing much needed materials and ministry.
If you are fortunate enough to win - I will advise you on where to forward your funds, so that they maybe declared as a charitable donation.
Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On Jan-18-08 at 04:33:50 PST, seller added the following information:
some of you have emailed me asking if indeed the story is true and if the funds will be used for legitimate missionary work in Honduras -
Yes - I got pantsed at the bowling alley
He is still a dear friend of mine
Yes, the funds will be directed to the Church supporting this particular missionary.
Bid often please !
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On Jan-18-08 at 04:35:48 PST, seller added the following information:
The individual winner should know that this is a photoshopped image
he is actually much fatter LOL
ping
yer a hoot, you know that don’t you?
Hey all.....UNNNGGHHHHH????? PING!!!
Seems appropriate.
UNNNGGHHHHH?????
that was a classic thread -
Yes, it was a great thread.
Hmm, I’m not sure who looks more dangerous. I’d say keep your distance from either one!
I’ll give it a B+ for creativity.
He is? I didn't know that; it's a Revelation to me!
thanks mr. advocate
whats delusional - he yanked my pants down - Im getting even LOL and helping a good cause
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