Real men find Church too girly

Times of London ^ | January 27, 2010 | Ruth Gledhill

[hiho hiho]

Real men don't like going to church because they don't want to "sing love songs to a man", because the "vicar wears a dress", because they feel like "mongrels on parade at Crufts" and because they want to be waited on by women rather than queue for coffee after the service.

Instead of the usual flowers and statues of the Virgin Mary, they suggest, "How would it go down to decorate with swords, or pictures of knights, or flaming torches?"

"Maybe it's not 'politically correct', but men quite like the attention of women! They also like to be waited on - so long as they are not made to feel guilty. Instead of having to queue for coffee, why not ask some of the women to go round with trays of coffee and biscuits or chocky bars? Coupled with a charming smile, many men would find that very attractive!"

Then there are the hymns, or modern worship songs, themselves.

Quite apart from the sheer embarrassment of having to sing out loud when the tune might go too high or be in an unfamiliar key,

"Jesus, I am so in love with you," or "Beautiful one I love, beautiful one I adore," - many men wouldn't sing that to their wives, let alone another man, the charity advises.

Among the changes recommended by Christian Vision for Men, a member of the Evangelical Alliance, is to use the World Cup to boost falling congregations. The charity wants vicars to erect big screens above the pulpit during this summer’s World Cup in South Africa and even serve beer during games.

The charity, which also recommends subjects as "pornography" are discussed in church men's groups, has also launched two Christian-themed men’s magazines in a further bid to lock into male culture.

[Houghton M.]

Real men find the Times of London too girly to read.

[HiTech RedNeck]

"Maybe it's not 'politically correct', but men quite like the attention of women! They also like to be waited on - so long as they are not made to feel guilty. Instead of having to queue for coffee, why not ask some of the women to go round with trays of coffee and biscuits or chocky bars? Coupled with a charming smile, many men would find that very attractive!"

Not a bad idea, actually. Make this gender neutral and you have an implementation of "serve one another."

[dalereed]

Quit it for drag racing 64 years ago!!!

[Titus Quinctius Cincinnatus]

I’d like Church more if the pews weren’t filled with self righteous do-gooders who are always looking down their hypocritical noses at everybody else.

I'd pay more attention to people who complain about church if these folks weren't so often self-righteous no-gooders who want to use their complaints as an excuse.

[Blood of Tyrants]

REAL men love Jesus.

[Blood of Tyrants]

Jesus was the manliest of men. Willingly dying for others without complaint.

[HiTech RedNeck]

So go to a Seventh Day Adventist church. They have services on Saturday.

[B-Chan]

So what?

[huldah1776]

If Jesus hadn’t saved us from ourselves we would be among the murderers, cheats, perverts and drunks. We are those people.

[agrarianlady]

This one’s kind of masculine, and sung to a deep Russian-sounding tune:

God of our fathers, whose almighty hand
Leads forth in beauty all the starry band
Of shining worlds in splendor through the skies
Our grateful songs before Thy throne arise.

Thy love divine hath led us in the past,
In this free land by Thee our lot is cast,
Be Thou our Ruler, Guardian, Guide and Stay,
Thy Word our law, Thy paths our chosen way.

From war’s alarms, from deadly pestilence,
Be Thy strong arm our ever sure defense;
Thy true religion in our hearts increase,
Thy bounteous goodness nourish us in peace.

Refresh Thy people on their toilsome way,
Lead us from night to never ending day;
Fill all our lives with love and grace divine,
And glory, laud, and praise be ever Thine.

[Centurion2000]

Instead of the usual flowers and statues of the Virgin Mary, they suggest, "How would it go down to decorate with swords, or pictures of knights, or flaming torches?"

WTF do they think the Crusades were all about?

[FourPeas]

Men who don't attend church aren't hungry for gimmicks; they're hungry for Jesus. Serve living water and the bread of life and the hungry will come.

[smokingfrog]

Swords and flaming torches sounds good to me.

Maybe we could have a pistol shooting range in the basement too.

[The_Reader_David]

Hmm, I wonder whether that kind of hymnography in part accounts for the largely male convert population we Orthodox have on this side of the pond.

I mean our hymns to Jesus are things like

“When Thou, O Lord, wast baptized in the Jordan, worship of the Trinity was made manifest, for the voice of the Father bore witness to Thee, calling Thee His beloved Son, and the Spirit in the Likeness of a dove confirmed the truth of His word. O Christ our God, who has appeared and enlightened the world, glory to Thee.”

for Theophany or

“He who clothes Himself with light as with a garment, stood naked at the judgement. On His cheek He receives blows from the hands which He had formed. The lawless multitude nailed to the Cross the Lord of Glory.”

one of many on Great and Holy Friday or

“When Thou didst submit Thyself unto Death, O Thou Deathless and Immortal One, Thou didst destroy Hell with Thy godly power. And when Thou didst raise the dead from beneath the earth, all the powers of heaven did cry aloud unto Thee, O Christ Thou giver of life, glory to Thee!”

one of the eight that comes around every eight Sundays.

Actually the only Orthodox hymn that comes at all close to a smushy “I love Jesus” hymn that I can think of is the standard troparion for a virgin martyr, which puts the words into the voice of the martyr, “Thee, O my Bridegroom, do I love, and seeking Thee I now contest, in baptism I have been crucified and buried with Thee, and now I suffer for Thy sake, that I may reign with Thee. I die for Thee so that I may live with Thee. As an unblemished sacrifice do Thou receive me, who in love sacrifice myself to Thee.”

[texmexis best]

wow! are they behind the times or what?

[dalereed]

those people are whacko!

I’ve never missed church and haven’t been in one more than a dozen times since and then only to work on them under contract or for a few weddings.

In the last 30 years every wedding that we have been to hasn’t been in a church and neither of our families believe in funerals.

[The_Reader_David]

You should try a Russian Synod Orthodox parish: they won’t have any pews at all, and it’s hard to look down your nose at anyone when you’re doing prostrations and metanias, since your nose tends to point at the floor, rather than your fellow man.

[texmexis best]

“Maybe we could have a pistol shooting range in the basement too.”

I take my Bible study shooting about once a month.

Might be a good idea.

[Just another Joe]

I’d like Church more if the pews weren’t filled with self righteous do-gooders who are always looking down their hypocritical noses at everybody else.

We're all sinners. Sime, like me, have been worse than others.

You ought to come to our Bible study class. I think you'd like iut.

Church is not a gathering place for the perfect, it's a hospital for sinners, and we all need the hospital.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Can always use one more.