Posted on 12/01/2010 11:58:49 AM PST by Salvation
Bless you. Yes, sometimes it takes the tears to bring us to the reality of our part in these matters.
Thanks for the Latin. The Spanish should be very similar.
ha ha... well in this particular case, it is the sins of others and not my own.
“Sabiduria” is wisdom, and “consuelo” is counsel.
Don’t get me wrong. I no longer harbor animosity for these people, I hold no feelings at all for them, I am through with them.
There was one woman that I cheerfully would have killed, if I could have gotten away with it. Now, it ould be too much trouble to spit and cause her death, But if she neede help, she would not receive it from me.
She not not only lied and cost me some friends that I treasured, she cost me a subtantial sum of money, and endangered my wife’s life. It is that last that I can’t really forgive her for. I recovered financially, and friends that believe lies without a little investigation aren’t worth having.
My nwife is still alive, but she could have died, and this woman knew it.
here’s the thing. for 3 years, my stomach was tied in knots with rage. I finally got over that, I would not harm her but I do not wish her well.
It took a lot of prayer and effort to get that far. I live in Alabama, she lives in Texas, last I heard. I will never see her again, not willingly any way. She has made no effort to apologize, and never will. I know for a fact that she tried the same thing on another man, although he was smart enough to learn from my mistakes. The woman is a psychopath, and that’s the truth.
One thing that made it so hard was that I never could figure out her motive. She gained no advantage from what she did, and I have no idea how I could have offended her, so revenge on her part is out. What she did was just evil,
Wow, they really must have done something horrible.
I was discussing a similar topic with a friend. We talked of love, hate, betrayal and the need to move on. I shared my view that love and hate are just 2 sides of the same coin. The real opposite is indifference. If you can think of the person, see them on the street, and feel nothing, no anger, affection, nothing, then you have truly moved on. Most of the time, I can say that I really have no feelings for those who have harmed me. I mean no ill will to them. I just don’t let them get the better of me. Sometimes I feel a sense of pity because they really have no clue why they anger others so.
Thanks for your comments. If I still had to deal with the woman, I would kick her out of my life. Fortunately I don’t. And as a matter of fact, my life is much better as a result of what she did.
But it was the blessings of God, and the support of my family, and my own efforts that did it. That does not negate her malice
It was, but kicked up. If it had been just talk, it wouldn’t have been so bad.
I’ve gotten over the pain. I no longer care about this person. I have written her out of the human race.
The pain is gone, truly. But the scars remain. It’s only when the topic of revenge comes up that I even remember.
I don’t really see how true forgiveness takrs place without the other person asking for, unless you define it as not caring how the other person gets on. I read that somewhere in connection with some person talking about a cheating spouse.
I’m sorry for what happened to you, and agree that it is easier when you are still enduring suffering. I got to feeling better about it when I figured out a way to even the score. Once I knew that I could, I could choose not to do so. I recovered power over the situation.
It took me 3 years to reach that point, and eight more years have passed. I don’t think about it much anymore, but that person had better never need my aid for any problem, no matter how serious.
Not that that’s likely to happen.
It was pretty bad. Basically her lies cost me my job at a time when my wife was undergoing treatment for cancer and I needed the insurance.
If I had been one more day finding a new job, she could have been denied coverage because of a pre-existing condition.
As it was, everything worked out fine for me, but that wasn’t to her credit.
For more reasons than I can remember, this helps:
“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner”
Many, many years ago a priest told me to repeat this continually until it becomes the background sound of my life. I didn’t succeed, but this little monastic prayer, called “The Jesus Prayer”, makes all the difference for me every day.
I recently lost a friend to cancer, so I understand. I can’t fathom why people will tell falsehoods about someone else, much less when the ramifications can be devastating. It denotes a lack of conscious, total egocentrism.
Thanks. That was one of the words he used. The other one must have been Italian.
mlizzy, I’m so glad you wrote that. I have a sister who tried to convince my elderly parent that I snuck into his house and stole a figurine from him; who pointed out my every flaw and weakness to my parents, who begrudged me every tender moment with my parents, and who recently tried to get hospital staff to document that I am a detriment to my dad’s health.
I will ponder your thought that she is really hurting herself. I still love her for the life we shared together as children and our shared memories; but I find it hard to love her in the present. It’s gotten to where I just want to stay away from her. I’m constantly on guard when I’m around her, waiting for the next blow.
Would it be forgiveness if I pray she has a great and happy life- a thousand miles from mine?
Thank you for posting this article. I have a question I would love answered, though. What do you do when the hurt continues? In other words, its not just a hurt from the past, you have close family who still hurt you, even seem to enjoy causing you pain? At what point is enough enough? Can you forgive and yet try and limit your exposure to them, even if its your own parents?
I have noticed that people who are extremely kind and fair to everyone are very deeply hurt when injustice is done to them.
Your post touched me deeply. Permit me to offer this: your soul is crying out for justice- and rightly so. The evildoer will receive perfect justice someday that will last for eternity. Your sad job is to wait on the Lord as patiently as possible. Perhaps the thought that the murderer will experience eternal, perfect justice will comfort you. The Lord promised us there would be little justice in this world. He also promised those who mourn in this world will be consoled in the next. Your suffering is not in vain and matters a great deal to Him. I am sure God loves your intense longing for justice for your father and He knows how terribly a just person like you is suffering under this weight.
Finally, thank God you are the kind of person who feels this pain so deeply. You are not callous and hardened; you are the sane one. Those who feel deeply also love deeply. You obviously have a great capacity for love. Don’t pull away from people; use that gift of yours that allows you to feel deeply to love others well. There is great satisfaction in loving others well.
I will pray for you. I hope you aren’t offended my my post.
Also, how do you forgive someone who doesn’t want it
, or ask for it,or think they have done anything that requires forgiveness. If I want forgiveness from my sins, don’t I have to repent and ask for it? God does not just grant forgiveness to everyone whether they seek it or not. So how can I do more than God can? How do I grant forgiveness without being asked for it?
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