HAVE YOU NOTICED THIS ABOUT MORMONS?

Various | April 17, 2011 | Vanity

[greyfoxx39]

HAVE YOU NOTICED THIS ABOUT MORMONS?

 

If you were to desire to enter the exclusive LDS-Mormon club, you would have to be agree to the church doctrine including this:

 

First Presidency Doctrinal Statements
It is not only his discourses that form the basis of Joseph F. Smith's doctrinal legacy. During his presidency, several important documents signed by the First Presidency and/or the Twelve were issued that still serve as a touch stone of Latter-day Saint belief. One such document, The Origin of Man: By the First Presidency, was issued in 1909 during a time when evolution was gaining attention in the academic world.

They wrote:

"In presenting the statement that follows we are not conscious of putting forth anything essentially new; neither is it our desire so to do. Truth is what we wish to present, and truth--eternal truth--is fundamentally old. A restatement of the original attitude of the Church relative to this matter is all that will be attempted here. To tell the truth as God has revealed it, and commend it to the acceptance of those who need to conform their opinions thereto, is the sole purpose of this presentation. 'God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.' In these plain and pointed words the inspired author of the book of Genesis made known to the world the truth concerning the origin of the human family."

They added:

"The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, basing its belief on divine revelation, ancient and modern, proclaims man to be the direct and lineal offspring of Deity. God Himself is an exalted man, perfected, enthroned, and supreme. By His almighty power He organized the earth, and all that it contains, from spirit and element, which exist co-eternally with Himself. He formed every plant that grows, and every animal that breathes, each after its own kind, spiritually and temporally--'that which is spiritual being in the likeness of that which is temporal, and that which is temporal in the likeness of that which is spiritual.' He made the tadpole and the ape, the lion and the elephant but He did not make them in His own image, nor endow them with Godlike reason and intelligence. Nevertheless, the whole animal creation will be perfected and perpetuated in the Hereafter, each class in its 'distinct order or sphere,' and will enjoy 'eternal felicity.' . . . Man is the child of God, formed in the divine image and endowed with divine attributes, and even as the infant son of an earthly father and mother is capable in due time of becoming a man, so the undeveloped offspring of celestial parentage is capable, by experience through ages and aeons, of evolving into a God."

http://www.meridianmagazine.com/biography/000128jfsdoctrinelegacy.html 

AND THIS: The non-creedal creed of the LDS church

 

 

The Articles of Faith
of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

 

1. We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
   
2. We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.
   
3. We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.
   
4. We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
   
5. We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.
   
6. We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
   
7. We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
   
8. We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
   
9. We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
   
10. We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.
    
11. We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
    
12. We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
    
13. We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Joseph Smith

http://lds.org/scriptures/pgp/a-of-f/1.1-13?lang=eng#1

You would be required to: Become baptized, because the mormon church does not recognize Christian baptism as do many Christian denominations;  then become confirmed a member ot the mormon church; then become worthy to be "ordained" into the two "priesthoods"; (IF you are male.)

May 15, 1829, while Joseph translated passages of the Book of Mormon about the necessity of baptism, he and Oliver Cowdery had asked the Lord who had to baptize in His name. "The voice of the Redeemer spake peace to us," Oliver later wrote, and a heavenly messenger, John the Baptist, "came down clothed with glory." He conferred upon the two men the , which holds the "of the gospel of repentance, and of for the remission of sins."

John the Baptist directed the two men to baptize each other, and they soon also baptized others converted to the restored gospel. Through priesthood ordination they authorized others to perform baptism by immersion. From that small beginning, many millions of people worldwide have been baptized members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Weeks later, Peter, James, and John, who possess "the keys of the kingdom, and of the dispensation of the fulness of times," appeared to Joseph and Oliver and conferred upon them the . Now the fulness of the gospel could be restored, the Church of Jesus Christ could be organized to "roll forth," and all the necessary for the salvation of God's children could be performed—including bestowing the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Because were restored to Joseph Smith, all of God's children can receive the ordinances of salvation such as baptism administered by those called of God to act and speak in His name.   D&C 13:1.2. D&C 128:20.3. D&C 65:2. 

priesthood keys

Keys are the rights of presidency, or the power given to man by God to direct, control, and govern God's priesthood on earth. Priesthood holders called to positions of presidency receive keys from those in authority over them. Priesthood holders use the priesthood only within the limits outlined by those who hold the keys. The President of the Church holds all priesthood keys (see D&C 107:65–67, 91–92; 132:7; The Guide to the Scriptures, "Keys of the Priesthood," 141).  Note: Women are not eligible to become "Priesthood Holders".

Then, if you become "worthy" according to mormon requirements, which include among other things, obeying the Word of Wisdom;

Doctrine and Covenants Section 89 

Revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet, at Kirtland, Ohio, 27 February 1833 (see History of the Church, 1:327–29). As a consequence of the early brethren using tobacco in their meetings, the Prophet was led to ponder upon the matter; consequently, he inquired of the Lord concerning it. This revelation, known as the Word of Wisdom, was the result. The first three verses were originally written as an inspired introduction and description by the Prophet.

1–9, The use of wine, strong drinks, tobacco, and hot drinks is proscribed; 10–17, Herbs, fruits, flesh, and grain are ordained for the use of man and of animals; 18–21, Obedience to gospel law, including the Word of Wisdom, brings temporal and spiritual blessings.

You may then appear before your "spiritual leader" or Ward Bishop, to answer these questions:

Temple Recommend Questions:

 1 Do you have faith in and a testimony of God the Eternal Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost?

 2 Do you have a testimony of the Atonement of Christ and of His role as Savior and Redeemer?

 3 Do you have a testimony of the restoration of the gospel in these the latter days?

 4 Do you sustain the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Prophet, Seer, and Revelator and as the only person on the earth who possesses and is authorized to exercise all priesthood keys? Do you sustain members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators? Do you sustain the other General Authorities and local authorities of the Church?

 5 Do you live the law of chastity?

 6 Is there anything in your conduct relating to members of your family that is not in harmony with the teachings of the Church?

 7 Do you support, affiliate with, or agree with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

 8 Do you strive to keep the covenants you have made, to attend your sacrament and other meetings, and to keep your life in harmony with the laws and commandments of the gospel?

 9 Are you honest in your dealings with your fellowmen?

10 Are you a full-tithe payer?

11 Do your keep the Word of Wisdom?

12 Do you have financial or other oblgations to a former spouse or children? If yes, are you current in meeting those obligations?

13 If you have previously received your temple endowment:

     Do you keep the covenants that you made in the temple?

     Do you wear the garment both night and day as instructed in the endowment and in accordance with the covenant you made in the temple?

14 Have there been any sins or misdeeds in your life that should have been resolved with priesthood authorities but have not been?

15 Do you consider yourself worthy to enter the Lord's house and participate in temple ordinances?

 

If you pass the Recommend test, you will be issued a piece of paper with a bar code on it that will allow you to enter the temple,  No one may enter except those with "recommends"  You will then take part in arcane rituals and are described as "Covenants"...covenants that are said to bind YOU and also to bind GOD.  In this "temple session",  you will be required to take this oath:

You and each of you covenant and promise before God, angels, and these witnesses at this altar, that you do accept the Law of Consecration as contained in the Doctrine and Covenants, in that you do consecrate yourselves, your time, talents, and everything with which the Lord has blessed you, or with which he may bless you, to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for the building up of the Kingdom of God on the earth and for the establishment of Zion .

NOTE:  This vow has been taken by Mitt Romney, Jon Huntsman, Harry Reid, Orrin Hatch and ALL others who have a position in the US Federal Government who are "worthy" members of the mormon church including FBI, CIA, Secret Service, etc. and by "worthy" members of the mormon church in your city, state, on your school board...wherever a position of authority is available.

After you take part in the temple rites, you are required to wear a specific underwear garment for the rest of your life.

Those baptized members including girls and women, who are too young to take part in the temple rituals will be required to take part in "proxy" Baptism for the Dead after they also acquire their own "temple recommend".

There are several religions larger than most Christian denominations, and together they are larger than all of them combined. Their adherents for centuries have lived and died and never heard the word baptism. What is the answer for them?

That is a most disturbing question. What power would establish one Lord and one baptism, and then allow it to be that most of the human family never comes within its influence? With that question unanswered, the vast majority of the human family must be admitted to be lost, and against any reasonable application of the law of justice or of mercy, either. How could Christianity itself be sustained?

When you find the true church you will find the answer to that disturbing question.

If a church has no answer for that, how can it lay claim to be His Church? He is not willing to write off the majority of the human family who were never baptized.

Those who admit in puzzled frustration that they have no answer to this cannot lay claim to authority to administer to the affairs of the Lord on the earth, or to oversee the work by which all mankind must be saved.

Since they had no answer concerning the fate of those who had not been baptized, Christians came to believe that baptism itself was not critical in importance, and that the name of Christ may not be all that essential. There must, they supposed, be other names whereby man could be saved.

The answer to that puzzling challenge could not be invented by men, but was revealed. I underline the word revealed. Revelation too is an essential characteristic of His Church. Communication with Him through revelation was established when the Church was established. It has not ceased and it is constant in the Church today.

As I address myself to the question of those who died without baptism, I do so with the deepest reverence, for it touches on a sacred work. Little known to the world, we move obediently forward in a work that is so marvelous in its prospects, transcendent above what man might have dreamed of, supernal, inspired, and true. In it lies the answer.

In the earliest days of the Church the Prophet was given direction through revelation that work should commence on the building of a temple, akin to the temples that had been constructed anciently. There was revealed ordinance work to be performed there for the salvation of mankind.

Then another ancient scripture, ignored or overlooked by the Christian world in general, was understood and moved into significant prominence: “Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?” (1 Cor. 15:29.)

Here then, was the answer. With proper authority an individual could be baptized for and in behalf of someone who had never had the opportunity. That individual would then accept or reject the baptism, according to his own desire.

This work came as a great reaffirmation of something very basic that the Christian world now only partly believes: and that is that there is life after death. Mortal death is no more an ending than birth was a beginning. The great work of redemption goes on beyond the veil as well as here in mortality."

“The Redemption of the Dead,” Ensign, Nov. 1975, 97

Now,  this is just a part of what is required to call yourself "Mormon".  Even sects that adhere more closely to the teachings of Joseph Smith, such as the FLDS have been excommunicated for practicing polygamy which is STILL part of mormon "scripture"

Revelation given through Joseph Smith the Prophet, at Nauvoo, Illinois, recorded July 12, 1843, relating to the new and everlasting covenant, including the eternity of the marriage covenant, as also plurality of wives. HC 5: 501–507. Although the revelation was recorded in 1843, it is evident from the historical records that the doctrines and principles involved in this revelation had been known by the Prophet since 1831.

, Exaltation is gained through the new and everlasting covenant; , The terms and conditions of that covenant are set forth; , Celestial marriage and a continuation of the family unit enable men to become gods; , The strait and narrow way that leads to eternal lives; , Law given relative to blasphemy against the Holy Ghost; , Promises of eternal increase and exaltation made to prophets and saints in all ages; , Joseph Smith is given the power to bind and seal on earth and in heaven; , The Lord seals upon him his exaltation; , Emma Smith is counseled to be faithful and true; , Laws governing the plurality of wives are set forth.

  1 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you my servant Joseph, that inasmuch as you have inquired of my hand to know and understand wherein I, the Lord, justified my servants Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, as also Moses, David and Solomon, my servants, as touching the principle and doctrine of their having many ^a and ^b—

  2 Behold, and lo, I am the Lord thy God, and will answer thee as touching this matter.

  3 Therefore, ^a thy heart to receive and ^b the instructions which I am about to give unto you; for all those who have this law revealed unto them must obey the same.

  4 For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting ^a; and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye ^b; for no one can ^c this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.

Now, to those of you who are reading this I have ONE question:

If ANY OF US cannot be called "mormon" unless WE adhere to all the requirements (and more) listed above.......WHY IS IT THAT MORMONS BELIEVE THAT ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS INSIST THAT THEY BE CALLED "CHRISTIAN" AND THE CHRISTIAN WORLD IS REQUIRED TO BOW TO ITS DEMAND?

[ScreamingFist]

They'd do well to follow Mormon John Moses Browning's example, rather than Joey Smith's

LOL! Well said my FRiend. Most posters on this thread would not know John Browining from madona. I mean darn, he only designed many weapons that won WW2. He's a Mormon.....so he's.......evil.

[SouthernClaire]

“If ANY OF US cannot be called “mormon” unless WE adhere to all the requirements (and more) listed above.......WHY IS IT THAT MORMONS BELIEVE THAT ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS INSIST THAT THEY BE CALLED “CHRISTIAN” AND THE CHRISTIAN WORLD IS REQUIRED TO BOW TO ITS DEMAND?”

---

Your post was very informative, made a lot of LDS doctrine clear, and should have opened the eyes of many Christians (or non-Christians, for that matter) to the hypocrisy of the organization, Greyfoxx. I’m sorry that so many didn’t bother to actually read it before jumping on you.

Your question of “Why is it that ...?

I’ll take a stab at answering although there are many ex-mormons here who are certainly more qualified and who could do a far better job than I can in any attempt to answer it.

The time has come for them to renew themselves again. If at first Mr. Smith was correcting doctrine, that correction failed him ... eventually. If, secondly, his organization started correcting what Smith corrected, they failed ... eventually. And now the world sees it as an organization that they don’t care to be involved with because too much truth has been let loose about them.

In short, the money isn’t flowing. If fooling people worked in the past (for a time), then surely it will work again.

So, I’m left to think that with the Internet allowing so many people access to material about them that they otherwise would not have had, the donations and membership numbers are dwindling. Therefore, we see them taking up the Christian name at the present time.

What better way to get the numbers rising again than to begin a new, newer, newest correction of their belief system to NOW call itself a Christian organization? Perhaps it will work ... for a while. If not, then there’s always Islam to associate it itself with. (But, aren’t they doing that already in an effort to “reach out” to them?)

I just pray that the unsuspecting will not fall for it.

“... THE CHRISTIAN WORLD IS REQUIRED TO BOW TO ITS DEMAND?”

NO. We are not required to bow to its demand, and thanks to people like you the information is getting out and saving souls. No, we do not have to bow to their demands and should not. Ever. They are NOT Christians in their beliefs. Period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

I read to the bottom of this thread and it’s easy to see that so many know nothing about the topic of your post. Apparently, they became angry because they believed that you were “bashing” other Christians or good neighbors. Not the case at all if one would bother to actually read the post.

But, take me back a few years ago and I can say that without benefit of the Internet I would have thought the same. It really points to the tragedy of people falling for so many lies that are the very damnation of the soul without asking or attempting to find out the truth of the matter (Mormonism) and how easily innocent people are duped into believing so many lies so quickly. And how? “Because they look like good people and they are nice to me.” So is Satan when he wants something, but look out after he is done with you.

I believe that most of the “bashers” bashing you as a “basher” bashing ... uh, wait. I believe that most of the people who slung a little mud your way did so out of ignorance. Again, I would have felt the same way they did if I had not had the benefit of reading the truth about the organization through the good faith work and efforts of people like you. I think your post would have been better received by those with a little more knowledge about the LDS - more, say, than just seeing them as a good family who live up the street. Fortunately, you opened a few more eyes.

Your post served a dual purpose in that regard, Greyfoxx, and I think some may have learned quite a bit even though they may be a bit embarrassed to admit it. I’ve been in their shoes, believe me. Just know that you probably helped a lot of people even though you won’t know the results of your efforts until later. Much later.

Great post, Greyfoxx. I hope you have a blessed day.

SC

[Elsie]

Yep...we must watch out for those crazy-eyed Mormon suicide bombers screaming Brigham Young Rules!!

I thought you were talking percentages; as in MOST of them seem to be ok.

Shall I tar ALL MORMONs with the brush because there are some bad eggs in the group; like you seem to have done in this statement about MUSLIMs?

[Elsie]

Insulting, to say the least, and not at all indicative of the Mormons I know.

Evidently you have no clue as to what MORMON scripture says.

Try reading D&C 132.

http://lds.org/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/132?lang=eng

[Elsie]

I guess we’ll see if ‘noted’ means ‘dismissed’.

[Elsie]

They'd do well to follow Mormon John Moses Browning's example, rather than Joey Smith's.

JS seemed to lack good judgement at the end...

---

---

---

 

"Joseph; I advise you not to go to that jail."

 

"Darn gnats!!"

 

 

"Joseph; I'm telling you to not to go to that jail."

 

"Flies are BAD today!!"

 

 

"Joseph; It ain't gonna be pretty if you ignore me and go to that jail!"

 

"Crummy mosquitos are EVERYWHERE!!!"

 

 

"Joseph!  Do NOT go to that jail!"

 

"And those bedbugs really savaged me last night, too!"

 

 

"JOSEPH!!  Wake up boy!   Do Not Go To That JAIL!!!"

 

"All right Sheriff - here I am, so give me a nice room while my Lawyer, my Advocate, my Comforter presents the LAW to the Judge and I am VINDICATED!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Elsie]

Apparently, you are so timid you can't display a state flag in profile.

This is the ONLY possiblity that comes to mind?

[Elsie]

Apparently, you are so timid you can't display a state flag in profile.

This is the ONLY possiblity that comes to mind?

[Pharmboy]

You should educate yourself and read some polls done among Muslims in Egypt, the UK and Dearborn, MI and see what a majority of them believe about jihad, sha'aria law and a martyr's death.

When you bloviate you should really have some facts.

[Elsie]

If at first Mr. Smith was correcting doctrine, that correction failed him ... eventually.

---

 

Polygamy: How it all got Started

---

---

 

 

 

Joe: Hey Emma!   Guess what!?

 

Emma: You KNOW I hate these guessing games! What is it, Dear?

 

Joe: I heard a voice, probably the Lord, tell me I must take other wives.

 

Emma: WHAT!?   You ding bat!  Don't you KNOW what our precious BOOK says?   After all; YOU are the one that translated it!

 

Joe: Books; schmooks.   All I know is I've been COMMANDED to take other wives and you are to OBEY ME!!!

 

 

Emma:      "Though shalt NOT commit ADULTERY!!!"

 

 

Joe: Silly Woman!  You KNOW better than to take things out of CONTEXT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

---

 

...and the rest is HISTORY...

 

---

 

 

 

 

 

THE BOOK OF JACOB
THE BROTHER OF NEPHI

CHAPTER 2

 

  24 Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord.
  25 Wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of Joseph.
  26 Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old.
  27 Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none;
  28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.
  29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.
  30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.
  31 For behold, I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land of Jerusalem, yea, and in all the lands of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands.
  32 And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people, which I have led out of the land of Jerusalem, shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts.

 

---

Or even HERE:

---

 

 1 Timothy 3:2-3
 2.  Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
 3.  not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

 

 

1 Timothy 3:12
   A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well.

 

 

 Titus 1:6
   An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.

---

---

 

 

Emma: That's IT!   I'm LEAVING your sorry *!!!

 

Joe:  DARN you Emma; you were TOLD to accept this!!   Wait!!!   I hear a voice again!!!

 

 

---

---

 

THE
DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS
OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS

SECTION 132

 

  51–57, Emma Smith is counseled (commanded) to be faithful and true; 58–66, Laws governing the plurality of wives are set forth.

 

 

  51 Verily, I say unto you: A commandment I give unto mine handmaid, Emma Smith, your wife, whom I have given unto you, that she stay herself and partake not of that which I commanded you to offer unto her; for I did it, saith the Lord, to ^aprove you all, as I did Abraham, and that I might require an offering at your hand, by covenant and sacrifice.

  52 And let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, ^areceive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.

  53 For I am the Lord thy God, and ye shall obey my voice; and I give unto my servant Joseph that he shall be made ruler over many things; for he hath been ^afaithful over a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him.

  54 And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and ^acleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be ^bdestroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law.

  55 But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an ^ahundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of ^beternal lives in the eternal worlds.

  56 And again, verily I say, let mine handmaid ^aforgive my servant Joseph his trespasses; and then shall she be forgiven her trespasses, wherein she has trespassed against me; and I, the Lord thy God, will bless her, and multiply her, and make her heart to ^brejoice.

[Elsie]

When you bloviate you should really have some facts.

I thought we were talking about what folks DO; not what they BELIEVE.

[Elsie]

The NON-posters will learn, even if the posters blow it all away as inconsequential.

---

JESUS: Hey Smith!       Remember that boast you made about doing more than even I had done to hold the 'church' together?

JOSEPH SMITH: Where am I?

JESUS: Don't you remember? A few seconds ago you were in that jail.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah; but where am I NOW?

JESUS: Don't you remember? Does bang - bang ring a bell?

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah - that crummy gun I had was about USELESS!

JESUS: I hope you left instructions on how to hold your church together.

JOSEPH SMITH: Dang! I knew there was SOMETHING I was forgetting!

JESUS: Looks like there's a power struggle going on down there.

JOSEPH SMITH: Yeah; there was always SOMEone who wanted the power that I held - especially over the LADIES - wink wink.

JESUS: No need to worry about that now; remember what my friend Matthew wrote down?

JOSEPH SMITH: This? “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30)

JESUS: That's it.

JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.

JESUS: Nah - it was right.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh well; it was fun while it lasted. My buds will still get it on with the girls.

JESUS: Uh; I'm sorry; in just a few more years; your followers will cavein to the United States government and abandon the 'Eternal Covenant' that you came up with.

JOSEPH SMITH: ME!? YOU are the one that told me to do that!

JESUS: Sorry; but you must have mistranslated what I told you. What part of Do NOT commit ADULTERY did you not understand?

JOSEPH SMITH: mumble....

JESUS: What did you say?

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, nothing.

JESUS: Well; it was interesting talking to you; but now I must get back to perparing a place for those who believe in Me.

JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, yeah; the Celestial Kingdom.

JESUS: No...

JOSEPH SMITH: The Telestial one?

JESUS: Nope.

JOSEPH SMITH: SUREly not the TERRESTRIAL one!!

JESUS: Nope. Didn't you read that the mind of man had NOT conceived of it? Paul wrote it down in 1 Corinthians 2:9.

JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.

JESUS: No; it wasn't.

JOSEPH SMITH: You SURE?

JESUS: Yes. Now I must be going: what did you say your name was again?

JOSEPH SMITH: Joseph Smith.

JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly FAITHbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.

JOSEPH SMITH: But.... 

[SouthernClaire]

I’m going to save some precious time for some posters who need to attack you. I will act out the bit for them.

“I hereby deny, deny, deny that the truth you just posted is not true or either it is true or neither is true or either all or none of it. Whatever.”

“You must be an ex-Mormon and are mad because you’re not going to get your own planet.” *Sticking out my tongue at you*

Umm...

“You didn’t get those real-truth quotes from one of our real-truth sources ... that say the same thing. Let me help you by sending you to some more sites that post the same truth that I am now saying is not true. Er... you will have it figured out once the heartburn sets in.”

“But ... if you did get that (now) untruth from one of our real-truth sites, then I am denying that truth about our religion. That truth is just not true ... and neither are you.”

Using my best card here: “I hereby testify on faith, on hearing the H-— G——‘s voice - which you can’t hear because you are not in our club - that the truth you posted is just not true. Humph! Trump that card!!!”

Wait a minute. I need to post something negative about you so as to distract people from the truth. (Sorry, Elsie, but it must be done.)

“Well, you ... you ... blustering, unrighteous idiot! How dare you!!!”

Finally, we come to my personal favorite which is something like:

“Now, you just give me one instance of our lies found in the Bible to support OUR TRUE hideous doctrine that YOU just posted! You can’t find it, can you?!? See! I told you so! See, I am right and you are wrong because our doctrine is just not in the Bible!!!”

[SZonian]

I’ll reply as I choose, you don’t get to decide.

A completely subjective and inane reply that in no way addresses my comment in response to your accusations and allegations.

Have a great and blessed day,
SZ

[SZonian]

Reading comprehension and context aren’t strong points are they?

[SZonian]

"When you bloviate you should really have some facts."

Says one of the inane bloviaters...

[greyfoxx39]

Thank you for your support, SC. The few gobbets of mud being flung leave the flingers with filthy hands, and miss the target altogether.

They can't find untruths in my post so they lean on their "feelings" for their misguided friends and babble about "freedom of speech" while attempting to censor, all the while showing ignorance of the subject. Just another day on FR, the forum that allows freedom of thought...and speech. God bless Jim Robinson for providing it.

[Godzilla]

not surprising - your level of spirituality is that of the ‘70s “Jesus Christ Superstar”.

Can’t find anything new in the bible?

You must be very blissful fist.

[SouthernClaire]

The “Thanks” goes to you and Mr. Robinson, I’m afraid, for having the nerve to stand up for what you believe in. Most don’t know what to believe anymore because the country as a whole has been spiraling downward for so long.

I can’t imagine where this country will be 10 years from now, but I know for a fact that FR and some of its posters - you included here - have done their work in turning a lot of people in the right direction on many different issues. There’s such a great deal of information that people read and learn here, quietly take away with them, and then act upon to make the world a better place.

Pretty darned impressive if you ask this redneck gal, and I appreciate you standing up for the Word of God.

Kudos!

SC

[Pharmboy]

Allow me to explain: without the wide support in the Muslim community, the DOers would not do (or at least, not NEAR as much as they do now). I hope this helps.