Posted on 11/27/2012 9:00:34 AM PST by Gamecock
There was one Union in Heaven once, The shop stewards name was Lucifer. The Union hall is now called Hell’s Gate.
You stay fat, but gravity is 1/6th that of earth.
Wonder what Aunt Baby looks like in heaven?
My neighbors wife is spoiled rotten. Spends like a drunken lotto winner.
Her husband tells me for her birthday she wants something that goes from 0-200 fast, and didn’t care what color it was.
I suggested he buy her a bathroom scale.
No, hell will be an eternity of watching the Raiders with JaMarcus Russell at QB.
I actually fell for this one:
Hubby was gassing up the car in Linn Co, IA.
Woman stops and asks him for directions “How do I get to 380?”
Hubby replies: “Have you considered Weight Watchers?”
LOL. Fat, old, ugly and bald in Heaven. With bad arthritis and half senile. What a way to go through eternity!
That’s pretty good...but, many a truth is said in jest. Grannies beware ;)
When I was a little child I thought that in heaven one could eat pancakes and go to the movies, those were the 2 main things I wanted to do more of.
This was when I was about 5 years old. I am now pretty sure that whatever heaven is like it will not involve movies, pancakes, chocolate or low self-esteem.
I call purgatory Heaven’s “washer machine”. The remaining dirt and smell gets washed away.
(BTW she was also very religious.)
On the other hand, you could say the the woman quoted in the article actually has more faith in the reality of heaven than many people who would laugh at her earthly concerns.
How many church-going women do you think you would have to ask before you found one who really was concerned about this?
“We will have no need for earthly bodies in heaven.”
There will be a resurrection. That involves the raising of our bodies, restored.
Romans 6:5
“For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.”
1st Cor 15:13
“If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised.”
1st Cor 15:32
“So will it be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable;”
1st Cor 15:51-53
“Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed— in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed.”
I’m a guy.
Do I get a new “you know what” in heaven?
We’ll be like Jesus; he isn’t overweight. As he is, so are we IN THIS WORLD (quit agonizing about the world’s idea of what you ought to look like; we’re okay). - When I was young, if you didn’t look like Farah Fawcett or Jane Fonda, you simply didn’t LOOK. - Now the “style” has changed, and will change again next week . . . . Pooey on it!
Maybe we need a Vatican III to decide this most important of issues.
LOL! I don't believe in Purgatory per se, but the mental picture of an archangel coach is funny. We're supposed to don new and perfect bodies when we get to Heaven - I would imagine that, fat or not, we won't have any complaints...
If a baby dies in child birth does it spend eternity in heaven a tiny thing unable to do anything for itself?
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