Posted on 11/27/2012 9:00:34 AM PST by Gamecock
BROKEN ARROW, Okla. — Kerrie Jameson is confident she is going to heaven. What scares her is the possibility that she’ll show up 30 pounds overweight and stay that way forever.
“I work a desk job, and my physique reflects that,” says Jameson, 28, who used to work out daily but has fallen into bad eating habits. “I have this horrible image of myself standing before the throne looking like a lumpy sack of flour. Everyone else will be worshiping, and I’ll be slinking off to a corner to eat chocolate and console myself.”
The idea of being fat in heaven first occurred to her during a sermon on Jesus’ nail-scarred hands and feet. Jameson realized that some earthly attributes, including physical characteristics, follow us to the next life.
“Jesus still has wounds on his body,” Jameson says. “Doesn’t that tell us something? What if I die before I get my weight down? Will I be stuck like this always? Will I have to diet in heaven?”
Concerned, she brought it up at a recent women’s retreat, sparking a vigorous discussion during the afternoon meeting. Jameson said she dreaded the prospect of “wearing a plus-size robe for eternity” and was searching for any biblical evidence that people in heaven will have bodies that “represent their perfect selves.”
Her secret hope, applauded by many of the women, was that when she walks through the pearly gates the weight will “disappear” to be remembered no more.
“If overeating is a sin, and the effects of sin are completely wiped away in heaven, then people with weight issues should be in the clear,” she said.
Brianna Worthington, 27, a mom who is in marathon shape, openly disagreed.
“I haven’t worked this hard on my body only to have it taken away once I die,” she said to scattered boos. “Don’t our works follow us? Don’t we get rewarded for what we’ve done down here? Do I get nothing for keeping my temple in shape?”
She said it felt “unfair” that every saint would look instantly perfect in heaven, but she also didn’t want heaven to look like “every mall in the U.S. where half the people are so big they have a hard time moving around.”
Jenny, a substantially overweight church member who says she carries around enough extra pounds “to form another small human,” said she believed people in heaven will look almost exactly like they do here — and that “weight diversity” makes life interesting. She cited instances from the Bible where people appeared in their post-death forms and were still recognizable: the prophet Samuel, Moses, Elijah and, of course, Jesus himself.
“Some people are built fat and happy, and that makes the world fun,” said the longtime church organist. “I don’t want a heaven where everyone looks like a cover model.”
She said she looks forward to “zooming around heaven in a big, impressive body.”
Other women expressed concern about physical attributes such as tattoos and breast implants. There was a rough consensus that foreign substances like ink and silicone probably would not make the translation, but the verdict was out on plastic surgery and obesity.
Jameson found little comfort in the discussion and is starting a “salad and cucumbers” diet upon returning home. She prays God will give her enough time to hit her weight goal before exiting this life.
“Everything right now is about making sure I reach my preferred dress size in case I die suddenly,” she says. “I’m driving a lot more carefully now.” •
Because they saw him in the flesh and not in the spirit. They didn’t ‘see’ him for who He truly is by using their natural eyes. They didn’t have ‘eyes to see’.
I’m not hindu. I’m fine with killing cows. God isn’t hindu either.
>> To get a steak you would have to kill a cow. I’m pretty sure death in Heaven will not be an option.
“With God, all things are possible.” — Jesus Christ, Matt 19:26.
Pretty sure the Almighty could find a way to get a steak. Probably could even do so without killing a cow. Either way, I’m optimistic.
SnakeDoc
No, if she gets into heaven, everything will be perfect for her. So she will not be fat.
If Jesus keeps the marks of His Crucifixion after his Ascension into Heaven, it is because He chooses to do so. They are signs not only of His suffering, but also of His loving willingness to die for our salvation. And they are signs of His triumph over sin and death.
We know from the story of Thomas and the Apostles that He kept his wounds after rising from the tomb on Easter. We don’t necessarily know for certain if He kept his wounds all the time, or only when He chose to display them, if I understand correctly.
Less, of course, American women have de-evolved to think like the Islamist who believe shaking an infidel hand or using his comb will make your penis fall off
That was great!
“Do these wings make me look fat?”
If it's with Romo and Jones, it'll be hell.
“To get a steak you would have to kill a cow. I’m pretty sure death in Heaven will not be an option. I’m thinking you’ll be out of luck on the steak.”
“In vitro meat” — if WE can think of it....
Does the Bible tell us that Adam and Eve were vegetarians?
Well, no. The heat from the fires will melt it right off, sweetie.
Fat and happy!
No (pay) toilets in Heaven? Nice!
I dunno if a cloud is going to support all the weight. ;)
Not if there are unions in Heaven.
Hell is forever being squeezed in between two 600 pounders.
Yes! Because heaven is not unionized.
Hell is forever being squeezed in between two 600 pounders on Southwest Airlines.
Yes it is!
But haven’t you ever been in a group study of some type and silly conversations like this broke out?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.