Posted on 07/12/2013 2:31:16 AM PDT by markomalley
Cincinnati, OH––Catholic book publisher and distributer Franciscan Media announced today that their new non-confrontational translation of the Bible will be released sometime this September.
Franciscan Media executive Roger Hammond told the press this week that he hopes the new translation helps to appease the minds of critics that have long called the Bible violent and judgmental.
“It took close to a decade to complete this ambitious translation, and we’re confident it’ll help people better understand the all-encompassing compassion contained within the scriptures.
Hammond goes on to explain one of the most riveting scenes in the New Testament where Jesus, after having overturned the tables of the money changers, goes back to help clean up, apologizing profusely as he does so.
Another scene in which the compassion and kindness of Jesus shines forth is Matthew 16:23 where, after having been asked by Peter to not enter Jerusalem and eventually into the hands of the Pharisees, Jesus asks Peter to “hold that thought for a moment,” before addressing Satan; “Satan, if you wouldn’t moving just a tad bit behind me? I’d really like to get this little point across to Peter. I feel so rude asking you this, but…I mean don’t go out of your way or anything…”
Hammond went on to tell reporters that the project has become a kind of therapy for all those involved in the project.
One employee of Franciscan Media, Beverly Tomas, said that seeing Christ in a new, more tender, and compassionate way helped her get over years of abuse she suffered by “strict and judgmental nuns.”
“I remember sitting back just a year ago and reading a newly translated verse in which the old Christ would’ve said something like “Woe to you, Pharisees, you hypocrites,” but now he gently places a hand on the shoulder of a Pharisee, pleadingly, and says,”Come on guys…I was gonna call you a whited-washed sepulchers, but honestly, I don’t think your a bad person…I just think maybe your hurting,” and lightly tapping the Pharisee on the chest, Jesus said unto him, “Hey, guy…you wanna know what I think? I think you’re hurting inside…hurting right there in that big ol’ heart of yours. Is that’s why you’re acting like this? Wanna talk about it?”
'nuff said.
Franciscan? No way! Is this satire?
This will NEVER get the imprimatur of the Catholic Church.
It is our duty as a reputable Catholic news source to cover all stories that pertain to and concern the average Catholic in the pews. Striving to be both fair and balanced, we are sometimes forced to cover stories about religious orders and Catholic leaders that we may be fond of; such is the nature of our business. But in so doing, Eye of the Tiber has become a leading source for Catholic satire to the astute, and legitimate Catholic news to the obtuse. We are proud to have recently been nominated for Best Catholic News Satire, narrowly losing out to the National Catholic Reporter, proving thus that, more trusted Catholic news sources aside, Eye of the Tiber is your most trusted Catholic news source.
Yeah, i am sure the anti Gods would love it if its true.
Caution: Eye of the Tiber is a satire site.
God has perfect wisdom.
The Bible is God’s sacred Word.
The Bible is perfect wisdom.
No “translations” required.
Provided you read Greek, Hebrew, Chaldean, and Aramaic...I agree completely.
For the rest of us, translation into the vernacular helps a bit.
Agree.
However, this “translation” is a re-write of God’s perfect word to push an agenda that is not God’s.
Truly blasphemous.
Eye of the Tiber is a satire site.
They are mocking modern "inclusive" versions (IMHO)
This translation doesn't exist. The article is satire.
Fascinating.
Call it half the posts so far that missed every mention of “satire.”
It would be funnier if the author knew the difference between “your” and “you’re.” As it is, it reads like a junior high kid trying to be witty.
Yet there are different “translations”. Go to any Bible commentary website.
HAH!!!!
That left a mark ...
Remember the immortal words of W.C. Fields: "Never give a sucker an even break."
Brilliant name for the site.
I had never heard of this site, so I must confess that I thought, when I first started reading, that this was for real.
Mark: One warning isn't enough. Not at FR.
Isn’t this just the opposite of what the Pope is saying??
I understood him to say to priests, etc. “Confront the difficult issues. Don’t water the message down.”
Or was that someone else?
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