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Urban Legend Haiku
n/a ^ | even date | self

Posted on 01/17/2002 4:50:52 AM PST by LN2Campy

Haiku...Urban Legends -- two intermittently occuring topics on this esteemed forum. Why not combine them??

What's this on mirror?
"WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF AIDS!"
One night stand of DEATH!!

It's strange to awaken
In a bathtub full of ice.
HEY - where's my kidney!?!

"Speed trap" I flash them
As a helpful motorist
Only to get shot!!

OK, folks, knock yourselves out!!


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: students
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To: LN2Campy
Email is now cheap
But 5 cent tax is coming
Bill 602P
101 posted on 01/17/2002 8:24:19 AM PST by B Knotts
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To: LN2Campy
Microsoft pays cash
To forward e-mail around
Then you buy swampland
102 posted on 01/17/2002 8:24:37 AM PST by Rebelbase
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To: LN2Campy
Free vacation fun
From Disney and Microsoft
Just forward this note
103 posted on 01/17/2002 8:29:20 AM PST by B Knotts
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To: VRWCmember
The castle Anthrax Haiku:

You must spank her well.
And after you have spanked her,
you may deal with her

Bad! Bad! Naughty Zoot!
give us all a good spanking!
And spank me. And me.

after the spanking,
the oral sex. Oral sex!
Silence, foul temptress!

The Castle Anthrax:
I could stay a BIT longer.
Despite great peril!

104 posted on 01/17/2002 8:32:53 AM PST by Grit
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To: Grampa Dave
The river's muddy
No fly fishing this morning
No football either.

Turn on the Freepers
Post some trivial Haikus
Ooohhhhh...for a steelhead.

105 posted on 01/17/2002 8:33:55 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: CheneyChick
My life lacks meaning
Oh..how can I enjoy sex
Don't know what is....is.
106 posted on 01/17/2002 8:44:38 AM PST by fish hawk
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Tourist Guy is here
Someone set us up the bomb
Zig for great justice
107 posted on 01/17/2002 8:47:37 AM PST by CounterCounterCulture
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To: fish hawk
That mexican dog you got ain't looking so hot.. You smuggled a rat!
108 posted on 01/17/2002 8:50:24 AM PST by SarahW
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To: CheneyChick
Morning lifts her veil
Dew like sequins on the grass
Diamonds of the dawn.
109 posted on 01/17/2002 8:50:30 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: CheneyChick
Morning lifts her veil
Dew like sequins on the grass
Diamonds of the dawn.
110 posted on 01/17/2002 8:50:53 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: LN2Campy
Who could say no to
Donations for the victims?
Sit and count the money!
111 posted on 01/17/2002 8:59:07 AM PST by ben richards
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To: ben richards
This one guy rode down
From the eighty-seventh floor
Its a miracle!
112 posted on 01/17/2002 9:04:25 AM PST by SarahW
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To: fish hawk
I will be somewhere tomorrow waving a 14' graphite wand in a river to the Steelhead Gods!

Due to some unplanned need for some outside help, I'm house bound to let people in and out to do their jobs! The first one just showed up, only two hours late!

Last week our fly club held a steelhead workshop. We have two guys who are really good. In fact one is so good, he will become a guide later this year! The workshop got all of us riled up!

I got a call last night from another addicted one, and he is making phone calls for tomorrow's venture as I post this non Haiku! I will check the computer, and my son is checking his Fish Sniffer choices for me!

113 posted on 01/17/2002 9:08:09 AM PST by Grampa Dave
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To: CheneyChick
MAUI HAIKU

Prostrate on the sand
Sacrificing to the sun
The white of their flesh

I question the sea
The setting sun caressed you
Why are you angry?

All of my mistakes
May not have been in error
Only time is wise

Lo..the petals fall
But no one mourns their dying
Ushering the fruit.

Bold Anthuriums
Hawaiis phallic flower
Shameless and obscene.

Haleakala
Hawaiian sun god temple
Monolith mountain.

Cherryblossoms fall
Soft and gentle in the wind
If death could be thus.

Back to the real world
Fooling around with Freepers
Laughing at Haikus.

114 posted on 01/17/2002 9:08:55 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: spectre
The moose-cheese...
I have a recipe
bit my sister!
115 posted on 01/17/2002 9:09:10 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: dighton
It is not my fault
Bad Republicans are here
Freepers know the truth
116 posted on 01/17/2002 9:16:33 AM PST by bootyist-monk
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To: f.Christian
count on your fingers...it's 5-7-5 or use Abacus. Aloha morning to you. from Akamai Okole.(smart ass)
117 posted on 01/17/2002 9:17:10 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: fish hawk
Haiku flunky...
so what's the big---
f......ing deal!
118 posted on 01/17/2002 9:21:29 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: bootyist-monk
Daisy-Cutter bombs
Dropped on a Red Cross Warehouse
Civilian targets
119 posted on 01/17/2002 9:23:33 AM PST by gridlock
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To: Grampa Dave
Fly fishing the Smith
Kings Explorer,Golden Goose,
Comet or the Boss.
120 posted on 01/17/2002 9:27:32 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: fish hawk
Very good!
121 posted on 01/17/2002 9:29:51 AM PST by Grampa Dave
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To: f.Christian
Someone is cranky
Got up on wrong side of bed
Go slap Democrats!!!
122 posted on 01/17/2002 9:31:15 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: SarahW
Send a get-well card
to the little dying boy
Pass on this message

Every three years
we do so without fail though
he's forty-eight now

The hospital says
he recovered years ago
But what do they know

123 posted on 01/17/2002 9:34:24 AM PST by Reply 491
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To: fish hawk
Photograpers snap me...
the Easter parade---
wouldn't go on!
124 posted on 01/17/2002 9:35:58 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: Grampa Dave
It's all in the wrist
three hundred dollar Fly Rod
lost fly to willows.
125 posted on 01/17/2002 9:36:33 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: fish hawk
Fly fishing wussies!
Give me squid strips and sinkers
Surfcasting beats all!!
126 posted on 01/17/2002 9:40:30 AM PST by LN2Campy
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To: bootyist-monk
What good is Haiku
Wont put food on the table
Just brings out the kooks. ~~{;^D
127 posted on 01/17/2002 9:42:03 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: LN2Campy
In the Atlantic
Is a triangle of death
Empty ship still sails
128 posted on 01/17/2002 9:42:54 AM PST by poindexter
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To: LN2Campy
Squid is for eating
I only go to oceans
Surfcasting for babes.
129 posted on 01/17/2002 9:46:08 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: fish hawk
That is why my son and I tie most of our flies!

He is worse than I am. If he doesn't lose a fly by casting into the brush/willows/poison oak/wild grapes/? on the far bank every 12 casts, he is having a bad day! I have seen him replace 24 flies in a three to four hour castathon. Off course he will out fish me 5 to one! His theory, the flies/nymphs fall down into the river from the overhanging or nearby brush.

When the stripers have their next meal close to the bank and sometimes even jumping on the shore, he will cast right on the shore and bring the fly back. He hooked a 35# in about 8 inches of water. The fish knocked the wind out of itself trying to dive after my son set the hook. He cast the fly onto the shore and flipped it back into the pod of bait and stripers. At least three stripers went ripping after his fly for an easy lunch!

130 posted on 01/17/2002 9:47:59 AM PST by Grampa Dave
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To: Lazamataz
I can't do Haiku
It gives me a bad headache
I can't think that quick.
131 posted on 01/17/2002 9:48:39 AM PST by Neets
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To: LN2Campy
Haven't caught a babe
Went to my doctor for help
It's all in the wrist.
132 posted on 01/17/2002 9:50:01 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: fish hawk
Surfcasting for babes?
Just employ prop like puppy!
Else use barbless hooks...
133 posted on 01/17/2002 9:51:23 AM PST by LN2Campy
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To: fish hawk
Do they exist...
babes with two right feet---
I'm so lonely and...
134 posted on 01/17/2002 9:54:29 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: OneidaM
Thinking doesn't help
If it did...no more Haiku
We'd all be at work.

Take two aspirin
Quit thinking about Haiku
and go get a life.

135 posted on 01/17/2002 9:58:12 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: LN2Campy
I don't know about surf casting. My son and I will catch more stripers on the California Delta in two hours than all the bait and hardward chunkers who surround us and out number us 100 to 2!

A year ago the Friday after Thanksgiving, he and I caught and released 12 stripers in a little over 30 minutes in an area that had over 100 bait and hard ware chunkers! This 100 bait and gear chunkers caught zero fish before we got there and zero during the time we were catching them!

The dumb ones booed us. The smart ones asked to see what his flies looked like and what rods and lines we were using!

Ken Hanley is apparently getting ready to come out with a new book on how to use Spey rods to cast in the West Coast Surf with flies for Stripers and other ocean fish! People who have seen him and a couple of other famous flyfishers use their Spey Rods and flies can't believe their results!

136 posted on 01/17/2002 9:58:23 AM PST by Grampa Dave
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To: LN2Campy
WINGS

Man yearns to fly
Rocket strapped to trunk with tape
Becomes One with rock

137 posted on 01/17/2002 9:59:36 AM PST by Slyfox
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To: Grampa Dave
A few years ago I was flying to the Mainland from Maui. I spotted an old friend from Eureka and asked where he had been. He blongs to a fly fishing club in Eureka and they were returning from a fly fishing jaunt in the south sea islands. He said they had a wonderful time. That was the first time I had heard of fly fishing in the ocean.
138 posted on 01/17/2002 10:04:25 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: LN2Campy
Did Ted Nugent write
I'm A Bad American?
It was a Freeper
139 posted on 01/17/2002 10:07:38 AM PST by uglybiker
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To: Grampa Dave
A couple fish nuts
Are turning a Haiku thread
Into a sports show.
140 posted on 01/17/2002 10:08:38 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: Grit
Great Castle Anthrax haiku. Here's one back at you.

Vile, ferocious beast,
Just a cute bunny rabbit,
Surely not a threat!

Knights are really ticked
Sir Robin soiled his armor.
Foolish Enchanter!

I shall be right back
Tonight, rabbit stew our feast.
Oh no, throat is gone!

Attack all at once
It is no match for us all
Run! Run Away! Run

What should we do now?
Fetch the Holy Hand Grenade!
Count only to Three

The rabbit is slain
Now, on to the Castle Ahg
What? French Infidels?

To Arms! Attack now!
The Castle and Grail are ours!
Who called the Police?

So the movie ends
The knights are going to jail
Taunted one last time.

141 posted on 01/17/2002 10:11:21 AM PST by VRWCmember
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To: SarahW
I forgot about that one!
142 posted on 01/17/2002 10:12:38 AM PST by Rebelbase
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To: Grampa Dave
hey -- no arguing with success!!
143 posted on 01/17/2002 10:13:40 AM PST by LN2Campy
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To: Slyfox
One can get obsessed with Haiku. It's starting to effect my work. This happened on the job just the other day:

This is a stickup
Put all the money in the bag
Please don't call police!!!

144 posted on 01/17/2002 10:15:36 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: OneidaM
It's too cold to think
Up in Hillary's New York
Come to Arizona ;-)
145 posted on 01/17/2002 10:20:20 AM PST by uglybiker
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To: LN2Campy
No good to use Squid
The best babe surfcasting bait
Is with cold hard cash.
146 posted on 01/17/2002 10:23:30 AM PST by Rebelbase
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To: fish hawk
Blow dried dead rabbit...
neighbors dog dug it up---
buried two days ago!
147 posted on 01/17/2002 10:24:35 AM PST by f.Christian
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To: uglybiker
We cant because your Arizona makes six syllables.
148 posted on 01/17/2002 10:25:01 AM PST by fish hawk
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To: LN2Campy
I didn't believe the success until I saw it and participated in it! With the flies that can be tied in the boat to replicate the bait of the hour, the newer sinking lines, and his fish finders, he can put those flies right on their noses. I have seen fish chase his fly in my Side Winder fish finder until they get it!

He is buying a new 30K boat to find and chase them. You look for the birds circling or an obvious striper feeding frenzy! You race over and try to be the first on the site. Too many bait fishers and metal chunkers anchor and spend a six pack of time before giving up. If the fish aren't there, you don't anchor nor do you stop! I think his new motor will be 150 horses or more. I'm looking forward to going out in it with him!

149 posted on 01/17/2002 10:25:53 AM PST by Grampa Dave
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To: fish hawk
A treble hook lure
caught in tree. Snatch! Pulllll! Ziiiiinnng! OWWWWWWW!
It's in my thigh now.
150 posted on 01/17/2002 10:26:20 AM PST by Reply 491
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