Tonight, I am separated, and now I'm truly alone.

New Horizon | 02/27/2002 | New Horizon

[New Horizon]

I posted a thread last night entitled:

Tonight, I am officially separated.

I am frightened, I have no family, I am alone...I have nobody but you guys to turn to. I received much valuable advice from fellow FReepers, which I expected. Why else would I post that type of "vanity"?

For some reason, my thread was pulled. Thank God I can salvage at least some of the intelligent replies were via FReepMail. Unfortunately, I never made it through the entire thread. I believe it was a good thread, for more than just my own selfish interests.

If I was rich (which is unlikely now) I would contribute to a forum like this. I'm not. I won't be.

If this thread is pulled, consider it my "opus".

[isthisnickcool]

While you may at the end of something you are also at the beginning of something else.

Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start all over again. It's fun.

[umgud]

Been there, done that. It really hurts. It's really lonely and painful. But it passes. The legal ramifications linger longer than the hurt. I sympathize and wish you well.

[f.Christian]

hang in there---come back...the old horizon---lean and tougher!!

[xm177e2]

I'll re-post what I said last time:

Sometimes when friendships end, women get the irrational desire not just to leave, but to DESTROY you. So be careful, and even if you try to work things outside of court, make sure you have a good lawyer handy, because things can get really, really nasty. Women are strange that way.

[oprahstheantichrist]

Thanks for re-posting. I looked for it too today, as it was late last night.

Why would they pull that?

[Senator Pardek]

I am frightened, I have no family, I am alone...I have nobody but you guys to turn to.

Buddha told a parable in sutra:

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a lucious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

[william clark]

Never fear. You're among friends. From that base, there are many new doors that can be opened for you.

[GuillermoX]

Turn your computer off. Go outside. Buy a puppy tomorrow.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Please go over to our sister site at Yahoo. What you need to express is better done in a chat room. If it makes you feel any beter...I'll be there waiting.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Separated? Why?

[cmsgop]

Watch Out For The French!

[cactmh]

Start jogging and excercising if you don't already. It feels good to run til you're about to drop. Find some other activities to fill your time. Time heals...

[Focault's Pendulum]

Watch Out For The French!

It's OK I'm taking foreign language lessons from a Brazilian

[Justa]

Stay away from booze and broads. The rest of life will usually takes care of itself.

[kayak]

With all due respect for the men who have been wronged by spiteful women, I must say that is a two-way street. My s-i-l, who abused my daughter (both emotionally and physically ... we have pictures to prove it plus a guilty plea to assault charges), is now waging a very ugly custody battle for their children and is doing his best to turn the children against their mother. The children are just 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 years old. He came very close to driving our daughter to suicide and is still determined to destroy her.

It's not women who are strange that way .... it is some people .... of both sexes.

New Horizon ~~~ hang in there. Life will get better if you let it happen! God bless you!

[Sally'sConcerns]

Yahoo sister site

[oprahstheantichrist]

"...sister site?"

Please link.

(newbie)

[scott91]

boy, there is some very good advice. and remember. God will not leave you. ever. leon

[DoctorMichael]

Been there, done that.

I have no profound insights or cures having gone through it myself. Just remember:

1) What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

2) You are a survivor.

[hole_n_one]

Wouldn't it have made more sense if rather than a strawberry, it was cheese?

[IronJack]

I said it last night, I'll say it again. You've got friends. Use them.

Baby steps, man. Baby steps.

[holly]

A lot of us have been there. I have been alone for a long time. You get used to it. Being alone is far better than a bad relationship. If there are kids involved be there for them.

[Senator Pardek]

And a moose was waiting at the bottom?

[Paulus Invictus]

Is the Brazilian teacher male or female? Makes a big difference.

[FreedominJesusChrist]

You are never truly alone.

[Paulus Invictus]

Is the Brazilian teacher male or female? Makes a big difference.

[hole_n_one]

haha!

[Focault's Pendulum]

Is the Brazilian teacher male or female? Makes a big difference.

Well my ad in the parer requested a brunette between 25 and 30.

[Pearls Before Swine]

Re the strawberry parable. The other side of the sutra:

Its a wonder the man had any appetite!

[oprahstheantichrist]

Okay, I can't stand it, I gotta ask.

She's liberal. Yes or no?

[Dubya]

We are praying for you. God bless and keep you.

[f.Christian]

Good News For The Day

‘If only for this life, we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.’ (1 Corinthians 15:19)

During the last century, hope-like the ozone layer-began disappearing with alarming rapidity. The modern world had embraced the doctrine of inevitable progress. Mankind was sufficiently clever to so arrange his environment, as to ensure a better world. Humanity was on an unstoppable march to Utopia.

Few people think that now. We have entered the era of post-modernism. God has been sacked. We no longer need him. He became for us, and unnecessary hypothesis. But with God gone, life has been leached of hope. Once it was taken for granted, that when it came to fortifying individuals for the hard knocks, religion had the answers. Religion was a source of meaning-therefore, of hope.

In a universe without God, other elements... of reality---loom larger....pain, sorrow, and death take his place, as absolutes. Diane Ackerman, a telephone crisis counselor, in New York state, has written a book about her work entitled, " A Slender Thread." She is more aware than most, that in every city street, people are overwhelmed by life. They find it too difficult, too harsh, too painful, too sad.

Callers are loaded down with guilt; tons of self-reproach. Their nerves are frayed by worry. Some experience waves of uncontrollable anger. Some are are abused and battered; some depressed and lonely. In an average city, 12.4 persons per one hundred thousand kill themselves. Given that God, the ground of all hope, has been dismissed, it is a wonder that more do not commit suicide. Jean Paul Sartre posed that question to himself: "Why don't I commit suicide?"

The meaning of human beings is that they should 'love God and enjoy him for ever.' Only so, do they live in hope.

[humblegunner]

No opus, please..
This same thing happened to me in '93 or so..
It darn near killed me at the time.. but now I have
learned to live with it.. from this range it is no
longer so terrible.
But the first five years or so???
Don't ask.

[Polybius]

In your last thread, you stated that your wife would "allow" you to see the children. I (and many others) advised you to GET A LAWYER NOW. I cannot stress that enough. Cutody is not automatically given to the mother and, all things being equal, a joint custody parenting plan may be the result.

In my own state, joint custody is the starting point and custody is yours to lose. I did a little research on Michigan and it seems to have a 12 point system of considerations.

This web site by a Michigan divorce attorney seems very informative. I linked the page specifically dealing with custody.

Link

[real saxophonist]

I'm more alone than you are. That's not my typical sarcastic remark, it's true. And I'm not dead yet.

[real saxophonist]

See if you can find this in your area. Listen every night.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

When FR goes "down" as in takes a dump and goes offline, you will find the sister site fills up.

[Henk]

Don't do or say anything stupid. Behave like a gentleman. Don't close any doors. Be a man about it. Don't leave the home until you contact a lawyer. Consider the probability that she has a boyfriend and deal with it. Women never do anything like this unless it's a sure thing.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Did you fail a drug test, too?

[Abigail Adams]

God is right there with you. He knows how you feel. Pour your heart out to him. He's always there to listen and give you peace. I find the Psalms to be very comforting in trying times. Go find a Bible and read a few Psalms! Maybe now is a good time to get hooked up with a church or something, and meet new people who are caring and sympathetic. Just my .02.

[g'nad]

My wife and I seperated for about 6 months in 93...I was lost and confused...Then I heard the Spirit's whispers, that God loved me...wretch that I am, in spite of who I was... my wife and I are together, and we're closer than ever...

All I'm saying is, where there's faith, there's hope...I don't know what your future holds, my friend, but you never walk alone...my prayers will be with you...

[khenrich]

I too were where you are tonight. The end may appear near, but believe me, your children still love you, and will not forsake you.

Have faith in yourself, you are not a failure. You will endure this, as have many before you, and make your goal one that will build your love for your children, and they for you. The children will save you.......

[Arkinsaw]

Right now, one thing has changed. Change everything. New clothes, new place to live, new associates, new habits, perhaps even new job. If lots of things are new it makes you not focus on the one thing. Thats my experience. If you don't like the way it is, start changing things.

You also might choose something to focus all your energy on for awhile. Work, education, or something else. It is amazing how focused you can get on something during situations like this.

You will also go through a lot of circular thinking. It does end after a while.

[Bobby777]

that was not necessary ...