Freepers sister in life or death situation-Florida-help please!! PRAYER REQUEST

me | December 9, 2003 | me

[Beach_Babe]

They moved my sister to the ICU unit at Ocala Regional Medical Center yesterday and she is scheduled for surgery today to drain the excessive adominal fluid. The surgery was originally scheduled for yesterday, but she's now developed a URI too.

She is very, very sick and so weak. Any prayers that can mustered up for her would be more than appreciated. Her name is Marilyn and she's 51 years old.

She has a rare spinal cord abscess. Usually, surgery is performed to lance the abscess. But she's not a canidate for surgery because, as a health care professional, she contracted Hepatitis C years ago which has caused extensive liver damage.

[Freedom2specul8]

Sweetie, if you need someone to talk to just holler.. I'm so sorry... You all are in my prayers.. This is so sad.

[Eaker]

Can you just let this go???

Be a honorable FReeper and walk away.

I'll compose your final post on this thread for you. Please just copy and paste.

Copy start:

Marilyn, I will keep you in my prayers.

Now paste it in a new response pane and leave.

Thanks,
Tom

[blackie]

We are all in God's Hands ~ Amen ~ So Mote It Be.

[TexasCowboy]

LOL!
Perfect, Tom!

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

Thanks you, you wonderful people. Truer prayer warriors there have never been. I can tell you that Alice has written to me privately during all of this, and been so touched from all the posts during this time in hers and Marilyn's life.

Though too exhausted to answer all the posts after spending all day at the hospital, 7 days a week, she would write to say the posts with prayers would lift her like nothing else at the end of the day. As you know, she expressed those sentiments here too.

I imagine she is with Marilyn now in her final moments. I am so touched by the beautiful loving prayers you and all the rest of the "prayer warriors" are leaving for her. FR is an awesome powerful place to come for strength and comfort. Thank you for "your part" in offering that support!!

I am the worlds WORST writer,.. but I hope I have conveyed my gratitude. You all touch my heart deeply. "Thank you" just doesn't seem to say it good enough.

God Bless you for being so wonderful!!

[JustPiper]

Renewed prayer's for Marilyn!

[Beach_Babe]

Merry Christmas everyone! Marilyn is still with us this Christmas morning, ‘tho her time left is very, very short. She is being well cared for; is quiet and peaceful. The only thing she personally hand-wrote on her pre-printed health care directive was ‘to be kept free of pain and be provided with comfort measures until her passing’. That is happening now.

Marilyn liked Christmas songs, not Karen Carpenter, Nat King Cole or Marvin Gaye. Christmas was her favorite holiday. I’d do the meat and potatoes and she did the desserts. Chocolate covered pears, cakes and cobblers, handmade marzipan, and tray after tray of cookies … all sorts of cookies. Last year she made so many cookies that I was giving trays to all the neighbors and even the school bus driver.

She decorated her home grandly for both Christmas and Halloween. And she received an award from the mayor of her town in New Jersey one year for the best decorated house. Although I did bring a radio to the hospice yesterday, it was unnecessary. The hospice staff already had Christmas music playing in her room. I read aloud from “Freddy Goes to Florida”, a book she and my grandson had started to read together but never finished.

NO medical professional of any import and integrity would offer a medical opinion or advice over the INTERNET. None.

I do NOT have a medical background and I appreciated EVERY bit of medical opinion, advice, encouragement, … and all prayers I received from my fellow Freepers. It has been a comfort to me. I believe the prayers brought Claudia here to us.

Also, I have used this thread to keep family and friends up-to-date, it was less exhausting than sending individual emails.

Marilyn has no health insurance, no Will and apparently the family siblings (if still alive) are removed, isolated and incommunicado. There's a mother, and an older brother in New York who is really stepping like a man it seems. Is there an estate, a life insurance policy or annuity in effect?

Although separated by miles, our family is very close. Mom, who has dementia, lives with me. Last night I had to finally tell her that Marilyn was dying and my son-in-law drove her to the hospice so she could say ‘good-bye’.

My daughter and her family have a home on my property. My daughter is due to have a baby in January and Marilyn kept saying: “tell her to hurry” … she wanted to see the new baby. Marilyn lived about 6 miles down the road from us.

My brother is in New York. I don’t understand you comment about my brother “stepping like a man”. He was concerned about the level of care she was receiving in Ocala, as was I.

Marilyn did not have health insurance, but there is an estate: will, life insurance and annuity. I don’t know what will happen with them. Medicaid told me to “liquidate” her assets until there was only $5,000 left. I was unable to do that … not enough time … so I imagine the state will take her estate to pay her medical bills. I’ll look into that later.

[Beach_Babe]

My condolences for the loss of your father-in-law.

I, too, didn’t want to ‘make waves’, I was intimidated by the medical system. But when Claudia arrived she caused a tidal wave!

One instance in particular stands out in mind: this Monday, after Marilyn had be “hospiced” but before she was transferred to the hospice facility, she was to receive morphine and an anxiety drug (I forget the name) hourly. This wasn’t being done on a timely because when we called that evening, we could hear Marilyn screaming in the background.

Claudia reminded the nurse what hospice meant, and unless the nurse had a medical emergency (bleeding, cardiac arrest, etc) with another patient ... which she doubted was happening since the nurse was on the phone with us … that she was to attend to Marilyn at that moment. By the end of the conversation, the nurse was saying “yes ma’am” to everything Claudia requested.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to living wills, I don’t have one now but I will make one soon and I want Claudia to be my health care representative.

[Pegita]

Heavenly Father, we return to give You thanks for the love that surrounds Marilyn as she approaches her home going. Thank You for family and friends ... so much love is evident here, Gracious God ... may Marilyn's heart be filled with the joy of their presence. Even as we grieve, we do so with knowledge that You are Eternal God and that Your children know that absent from the body is present with the Lord. Touch each one, I pray, with comfort and assurance, in the Name of Jesus, Amen ...

[TexasCowboy]

I'm so very sorry you're going through this on our Savior's Birthday, but very soon it sounds like Marilyn will be able to hug our Savior in person.
I'm glad they finally have the pain under control. That was heartbreaking to think of her lying there mewing in pain.

Beach_Babe, I assume you have the POA now if you are to dispose of her property.
Some things to remember for whoever is the executor of her will:
The POA expires on her death. It no longer has any legal value.
There is a period between her death and the probation of the will when everything is frozen until the judge issues the order to the executor.
You will need an attorney for this, and the sooner the better. Some of these court appearances take forever, and you need to get your name in the hat as soon as you can after her death.
Any personal bills owed by Marilyn after her death are null and void. The will should specify who gets what.
I don't understand Medicaid wanting you to leave $5000. in her bank account.
If she is no longer able to conduct business on her own, any money in her accounts are in the control of whomever has the POA so it doesn't matter how much or how little you leave since no one can touch it anyway.
When she dies, those accounts are frozen until the executorship is designated.
If you haven't made funeral arrangements, I urge you to do so.
You're enduring a lot of grief now, but it's going to be much worse when she passes. That is not the time to be taking care of business.
The funeral home will probably want their money beforehand since it will be Marilyn's bill. They will also want an irrevocable contract.
After all of this is done, the hospice administrator will call the funeral home when she passes so you won't have to do that.
I'm sorry I'm making this all sound so cold and impersonal, but to people who don't know her and love her, it is.
I'm passing knowledge gained in Texas, but I think it applies in Florida, also.

Dear Heavenly Father, if it is in your will please show us a miracle and heal this fine woman.
Please let her rise from her bed like Lazaraus of old.
If you intend to take her Home, dear Lord, we pray that you will send your Angels to guide her and comfort her.
Please let her passing be painless, dear Lord, and please let her know that she is loved.
In Jesus name, Amen.

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

PLEASE SEE UPDATE FROM Beach_Babe POST 347

(Below is just my response to her.. it is Christmas Day..and she has updated us all. I'm leaving for my family gathering, and below is my response to Beach_Babe. You can go directly to Post 347 for her update).


Hi Sweetheart;

It sounds like once again, Hospice is giving the kind of care that I've always known them to give. From the years I worked with them, I know that they understand pain control and comfort for the dying like no one else. Hospice knows how to help people die in peace. Everything they do, is about "caring". The whole experience is about making the journey pleasant, not only for the patient, but for the family members involved. Imagine the word "pleasant" being associated with "dying"..and it seems impossible.. but hospice pulls it off as only Hospice can. I'm so relieved that Marilyn is out of pain, and peaceful now.

I'm so sorry you "felt" you had to defend ANYTHING you have done. You DON'T!! Everything you have done from DAY one has been unbelieveably loving and extremely HONORABLE. I have known so many families in my years working in and around medicine, and you are just amazing!!

Had it been my sister, brother, Mother, Father, or loved one of any type.. I would have tried just as desperately as you have tried, to figure this all out. I am so sad you had to read the things you did.. just remember this is the internet, and we cannot control all who write things on an internet forum. But the overwhelming majority of people have been loving wonderful people. So please don't let ONE person, diminish or overshadow all the GOOD that has been written and all the PRAYERS sent to you.

I can assure you.. should the day come that someone in my family needs help like your sister did.. I'd try exactly what you did!!! I wouldn't limit my resources either.

FReepers have always been more than willing to TRY to put our minds together and to help. We may not figure it out.. and sadly we couldn't with Marilyns situation. But we did try. I'm so thankful for the good decent people on this board.

((((((Alice))))))) No one knows your sister like you and your family do. My heart,... "our hearts" go out to you, your brother, your sweet Mom who you care for.. and all your family. May your last days with Marilyn be sweet ones. Please kiss her on the cheek for me and know you all remain in my prayers.

AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING THESE BEAUTIFUL MOMENTS at Hospice with her. Moments being completed (finishing "Freddy Goes to Florida") Happy times, like her winning Best decorated house at Christmas time, and LOVING Christmas music, so playing it, and how the Hospice staff is playing it!! So many things that aren't sad.. but are happy and loving! She is such a giving person. The "Grand" cookie master too :o)

I also believe our prayers were answered in bringing Claudia to you.

I ALSO know that Marilyn has one AWESOME sister,... and that Marilyns mother has one awesome daughter (I didn't realize you were taking care of Mom ((((Alice)))). The more I learn about you.. the more amazed I am about you.

God Bless you and we will be watching for news when you can update us.

Mary Ann

[TexasCowboy]

Mary Ann, that was a beautiful response.

You're exactly right about hospice, at least, according to my experience.
I hope you had a joyous and blessed Christmas.

[Brad’s Gramma]

Heavenly Father, we come before you now to thank you for Claudia's life. Thank you for the wonderful sister she has been given, by You! Lord, we're all hurting with her that her sister is being taken from her so early, but we also KNOW that this is in Your hands...YOU know what's best even though we don't understand it.

Please give everyone the strength to see this through. Please give everyone the KNOWLEDGE they need, the doctors, the nurses, and Claudia's family.

Lord, if it IS Your will, please heal Claudia. Please make her whole and well. And Lord if you choose to take her Home to Heaven, we know that she WILL be whole and well.

Thank you, Father for letting us come before Your throne with our prayers. Thank you for being born a baby and yet our Savior. Thank you for being our God.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

[cyn]

I'm praying for Marilyn, you, and your family, and Claudia. May God give you all comfort at this difficult time. What a lovely, special woman Marilyn is.

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

Hello FRiends, last night at 11:30 pm I almost got up from bed to PING you to posts 347 and 351 when I realized I probably hadn't put you two on the pings to them. Not having a "ping list" I try to ping people by "memory" (obviously not a good idea!!)

My deepest apologies, as you both have been so wonderful to Alice through this most difficult time with your beautiful comforting prayers. I was PHYSICALLY running out the door for a dinner when I was typing the post. So, here it is, though late as it may be.

:o(

May God Bless you both Always, Mary Ann

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

It was a beautiful CHRIST'mas, Thanks FRiend.

And indeed, I was blessed to read about Alice and Marilyn and this amazing family. More so I think to read about them on Christmas! To know that Marilyn loves Christmas so much, and was so giving like she is. Then to know how Alice cares not only for Marilyn, but for a mother suffering from Dementia. Wow.. what an awesome family.

Plus, it made me hold family tighter.

Knowing them, and knowing people like you.. then knowing what this season is all about.. Our Father, yes, I had a wonderful Christmas!

Thanks FRiend, God Bless!

[Eaker]

Thank you so much for the ping and continued prayers!!!!

Y'all make me proud to be an American and a FReeper.

I hope I can meet the challenge, when it comes, with the strength and grace displayed here.

Tom Eaker

[Vets_Husband_and_Wife]

I hope I can meet the challenge, when it comes, with the strength and grace displayed here.

I hope I can too, Tom. I also hope people will continue to pray and comfort Alice during this difficult time. Which is continueing....

It has meant so much to her, and though she has had her hands full, and has dropped from exhaustion (as I'm sure we could all ONLY imagine) she has found time to ask us for prayer, and to even fill us in when she could.

Then we are finding out now that she was caring for her mother full time, who suffers from Dementia. She has heavy burdens. But I never heard her complain!! NOT ONCE.. only ask for prayers.. and help to find out what could help her sister. God Bless her, her sister and family (and Claudia of course!).

So, she came home to find strength from our prayers. Our Father knew she needed them, and there "is" STRENGTH in prayer when we gather together to ask in His name.

I know people have quieted down on the prayer thread, but really, we need to continue. She still needs our support.

I'm praying we will continue to pray for her and support her until this is over.

Thanks for being "you" FRiend. God Bless!!

[amom]

I'm praying we will continue to pray for her and support her until this is over.

Joining in with prayers up.

[Beach_Babe]

Mary Ann and everyone else who offered a prayer and so much more for Marilyn,

I thank you one last time.

Marilyn passed this morning at 7:00 am. May she rest in peace.

Alice