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How to pick up chicks at the peace march (Vanity/Humor)

Posted on 12/07/2005 7:00:09 PM PST by Tzimisce

Lines you can use:

"Hello I'm an oppressed Homosexual"

"My name is Akmed. I'm from Palistine and I'm a victim of the US corporate military establishment."

"So Cindy, I hear you're single now."

"Didn't I see you at Woodstock '69?"

"Are you the actress that played grieving mother number three in landmark documentary 'Fahrenheit 9-11'?"

"Yeah I'm a big mover and shaker down at the rest home."

"I dodged the draft in '67."

"Pass the joint."

"Hey baby, what are we protesting again?"

"The plight of women in this culture is awful. When will men stop treating women like sex objects? Wanna go back to my place?"

"I know Alec Baldwin."

"Hey sweetie, I was President from 1992 to 2000 and my wife is in Washington right now. Wanna go for a ride?"

"The rich get away with everything! Wanna discuss Marx over lunch on my yacht?"

"When we go for the die in, you can lay on top of me instead of the cold ground if you want."

"You can hand cuff yourself next to me on the fence if you want."

"Hey baby, I'm a starving artist and have to fly to Paris on a private jet tonight for a show in Paris tomorrow all by myself. I could sure use some company."

"I'm trying to get a degree in Women's studies, but I'm having trouble with the chapter on sexuality. Can you help me?"


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: lefties; singles
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Did I miss any?
1 posted on 12/07/2005 7:00:10 PM PST by Tzimisce
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To: Tzimisce

IBTZ!


2 posted on 12/07/2005 7:01:38 PM PST by caver (Yes, I did crawl out of a hole in the ground.)
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To: Tzimisce

If you could remember Woodstock, you weren't there.. as the old saying goes.

I wasn't there...I was off killing Communists.


3 posted on 12/07/2005 7:03:01 PM PST by x1stcav (Murtha is a surrender monkey)
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To: Tzimisce

"I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body".


4 posted on 12/07/2005 7:03:03 PM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: Tzimisce

Anyone who plans on using the third oughta poke both his eyes out and puncture his ear drums.


5 posted on 12/07/2005 7:03:30 PM PST by Sociopathocracy (Real men know the significance of the following numbers: 383, 426 and 440.)
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To: Tzimisce

You look so good I wouldn't even mid you turning me into the burning man if you know what I mean. What's a little penicillin between friends.


6 posted on 12/07/2005 7:03:43 PM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: Tzimisce
"How to pick up chicks at the peace march"

Image hosted by TinyPic.com

I'm thinking forklift.
7 posted on 12/07/2005 7:03:51 PM PST by cripplecreek (Never a minigun handy when you need one.)
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To: caver
Uh, no.
8 posted on 12/07/2005 7:03:55 PM PST by Killborn (Pres. Bush isn't Pres. Reagan. Then again, Pres. Regan isn't Pres. Washington. God bless them all.)
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To: Tzimisce

The best first aid for pepper spray is human saliva. Wanna be my licking partner?


9 posted on 12/07/2005 7:04:05 PM PST by crazyhorse691 (Diplomacy doesn't work when seagulls rain on your parade. A shotgun and umbrella does.)
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To: caver
IBTZ!

Whiskey.
Tango.
Foxtrot.
?

10 posted on 12/07/2005 7:04:26 PM PST by Prime Choice (We are RepubliCANs, not RepubliCAN'Ts.)
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To: caver

Zot ? Huh ? It's pretty darn funny.


11 posted on 12/07/2005 7:04:43 PM PST by farlander
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To: cripplecreek; cmsgop

lol!


12 posted on 12/07/2005 7:04:53 PM PST by hole_n_one
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To: caver

what not to say; "yer purtier than a mess of fried catfish"


13 posted on 12/07/2005 7:05:19 PM PST by seastay
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To: Tzimisce

"That's some mighty fine lookin pit hair you are sporting, miss."


14 posted on 12/07/2005 7:05:30 PM PST by KillTime (Western Civilization herself breathes a sigh of relief as President Bush wins 4 more years.)
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To: Tzimisce
"So Cindy, I hear you're single now."

ACK! I think you just stumbled upon the antidote to a Viagra overdose.

Package it up and called it "Viagra Falls."

15 posted on 12/07/2005 7:05:50 PM PST by Prime Choice (We are RepubliCANs, not RepubliCAN'Ts.)
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To: caver

Give it a rest.


16 posted on 12/07/2005 7:05:56 PM PST by Fierce Allegiance (I will prevail. I miss my best friend.)
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To: cripplecreek

ROFLMAO


17 posted on 12/07/2005 7:06:00 PM PST by MJY1288 (THE DEMOCRATS OFFER NOTHING FOR THE FUTURE AND THEY LIE ABOUT THE PAST)
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To: KillTime

"Is that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?"


18 posted on 12/07/2005 7:06:18 PM PST by Prime Choice (We are RepubliCANs, not RepubliCAN'Ts.)
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To: cripplecreek
I'm thinking forklift.

Forklift? I'm thinking harpoon.

19 posted on 12/07/2005 7:06:55 PM PST by Prime Choice (We are RepubliCANs, not RepubliCAN'Ts.)
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To: Tzimisce

"Would you like to touch my mandate?"


20 posted on 12/07/2005 7:06:57 PM PST by clintonh8r (If you don't support the mission you don't support the troops. Period.)
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To: caver
IBTZ!

Apparently, you're FR handbook is not the latest revision.

21 posted on 12/07/2005 7:07:01 PM PST by hole_n_one
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To: Tzimisce
Did I miss any?

"I'm a lesbian trapped in a mans body!"

22 posted on 12/07/2005 7:07:15 PM PST by mcmuffin (About time to open up a vintage can of '94 GOP WhoopA$$-before it goes flat-again)
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To: hole_n_one
you're s/b your

idiot!

23 posted on 12/07/2005 7:07:37 PM PST by hole_n_one
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To: caver
IBTZ!

In before it's launched to chat!

24 posted on 12/07/2005 7:08:16 PM PST by socal_parrot
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To: Tzimisce
Did I miss any?

Are you one of those edible flowers, honey?

25 posted on 12/07/2005 7:08:41 PM PST by BluH2o
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To: cripplecreek

She should move to India.   She'd be sacred there.

26 posted on 12/07/2005 7:08:50 PM PST by Prime Choice (We are RepubliCANs, not RepubliCAN'Ts.)
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To: socal_parrot

IBILTC!!


27 posted on 12/07/2005 7:09:30 PM PST by hole_n_one
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To: clintonh8r
"Would you like to touch my mandate?"

"Can I feel your pain?"

28 posted on 12/07/2005 7:09:38 PM PST by Prime Choice (We are RepubliCANs, not RepubliCAN'Ts.)
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To: Tzimisce

Would you help me find my inner Oprah?


29 posted on 12/07/2005 7:09:39 PM PST by School of Rational Thought (Republican - The thinking people's party)
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To: Tzimisce

Gravitys a bitch, huh Cindy?


30 posted on 12/07/2005 7:11:33 PM PST by billhilly (John Murtha, ex Marine. Leading the charge of the Demoquits.)
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To: socal_parrot

Got tickets?


31 posted on 12/07/2005 7:12:17 PM PST by hole_n_one
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To: cripplecreek

That's funny, I don't care who you are.


32 posted on 12/07/2005 7:13:02 PM PST by billhilly (John Murtha, ex Marine. Leading the charge of the Demoquits.)
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To: Tzimisce
"I was driving down the road the other day I get pulled over and the policeman says "You been drinking?"

And I said "No why, is there a fat girl in the back seat?"

I looked, and "My God, there's two of them! I guess I was drinking."

Larry the Cable Guy

33 posted on 12/07/2005 7:13:14 PM PST by neodad (My ex-wife is stuck on stupid.)
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To: hole_n_one

hee hee


34 posted on 12/07/2005 7:13:27 PM PST by socal_parrot
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To: Prime Choice

""Is that a real poncho? I mean, is that a Mexican poncho or is that a Sears poncho?""

RIP, Frank.


35 posted on 12/07/2005 7:16:54 PM PST by strategofr
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To: Tzimisce

Is that patchouli or are you also boycotting the Colgate Palmolive, Lever Brothers, and Procter and Gamble cabal?


36 posted on 12/07/2005 7:21:27 PM PST by DancesWithBolsheviks (No controlling legal authority.)
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To: Tzimisce
Ah the good old days;

Hippie Chick: Isn't it just horrible about how they are killing babies in Viet Nam?
Me: Yes, here, let me get that bra hook for you.

37 posted on 12/07/2005 7:22:39 PM PST by Mike Darancette (Mesocons for Rice '08)
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To: x1stcav

I'm saving your quote, so I can marvel at its awesomeness whenever I turn on my computer. Hope you don't mind.


38 posted on 12/07/2005 7:23:23 PM PST by jsmith48 (www.isupatriot.com)
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To: Izzy Dunne
"I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body".

Hey, you stole my favorite pick up line ( which I in turn stole from ---- -----, currently of Austin, TX)

39 posted on 12/07/2005 7:25:04 PM PST by Peter vE (Ceterum censeo: delenda est Carthago.)
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To: cripplecreek

That's what you call a slumpbuster.


40 posted on 12/07/2005 7:25:16 PM PST by jsmith48 (www.isupatriot.com)
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To: cripplecreek

41 posted on 12/07/2005 7:26:06 PM PST by MikefromOhio
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To: Tzimisce

The tried and true Clinton pick up line, "I feel your pain."


42 posted on 12/07/2005 7:26:30 PM PST by infidel29 ("We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." --Benjamin Franklin)
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To: Izzy Dunne

An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy." She said "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as Iget up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about womenwhen I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."


43 posted on 12/07/2005 7:26:32 PM PST by satan
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To: Tzimisce

Motherly statement made to pimple faced brat at the march in Sept. No matter how hard you try you aren't going to get laid.


44 posted on 12/07/2005 7:26:50 PM PST by armymarinemom (My sons freed Iraqi and Afghanistan Honor Roll students.)
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To: Tzimisce

Hey babe, is that a ketchup fortune in your pocket?


45 posted on 12/07/2005 7:26:59 PM PST by DancesWithBolsheviks (No controlling legal authority.)
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To: Tzimisce

Wanna Play With My Beeber?


46 posted on 12/07/2005 7:27:56 PM PST by al baby (Father of the beeber)
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To: satan

LOL! Berry good!


47 posted on 12/07/2005 7:29:33 PM PST by Baraonda (Demographic is destiny. Don't hire 3rd world illegal aliens nor support businesses that hire them.)
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To: Tzimisce

"You can leave your Birkenstocks on, baby!"


48 posted on 12/07/2005 7:31:12 PM PST by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything.")
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To: x1stcav

We were killing the enemy before killing the enemy was cool.....


49 posted on 12/07/2005 7:32:22 PM PST by MindBender26 (Having my own CAR-15 in RVN meant never having to say I was sorry......)
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To: Tzimisce

"Didn't I see you at a Barry McGuire concert?"


50 posted on 12/07/2005 7:32:30 PM PST by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything.")
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