Posted on 12/29/2005 2:12:54 PM PST by COUNTrecount
2005: Boob tube at its worst
New reality shows bite in bottom 10
'Daddy' Dearest: T.J. Myers sought her biological father in the Fox fiasco.
Oops, She Did It Again: Britney Spears bombed with her 'Chaotic' show.
Developing a list of the best television programming during the past 12 months is a daunting task. Assembling a lineup of the worst TV programs of 2005, is even more Herculean. So many choices, so few slots ... It's a sin, for example, that certain awful TV shows should escape the end-of-year tally unscathed simply because there are other, worse contenders beneath them at the bottom of the barrel.
So let's take a moment, to recall, and recoil at, the runaway egotism of Bravo's "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" and NBC's "Hit Me Baby, One More Time." And at the scripted ineptitude of two Fox shows: the unfunny sitcom "The War at Home" and the unwatchable comedy-drama "Head Cases." And at the ambitious failure of HBO's "The Comeback," and the unambitious failure of NBC's "10.5: Apocalypse."
And, of course, a special nod to ABC's "Welcome to the Neighborhood," a reality series considered so bad by its own network, that it was canceled before it premiered. Only TV critics, provided with preview tapes, got to watch "Welcome to the Neighborhood." Take my word for it, though - every one of the shows listed below, in my Bottom 10 TV Shows of 2005, were much, much worse. They're listed alphabetically, but by sweet coincidence, the show I consider worst of all comes at the very end.
Bottom of the list, bottom of the barrel.
"Bad Girl's Guide," UPN. Jenny McCarthy stars in a comedy that I awarded no stars when it premiered. I predicted failure, but that wasn't difficult. The failure was evident in every frame and lame joke.
"Battle of the Network Reality Stars," Bravo. The original "Battle of the Network Stars," from the 1970s, was a blast. This updated version was a bomb because it had no stars. 'Reality Stars' is an oxymoron. And the people gathered here to compete - well, let's just say they made the roommates on "The Surreal Life" look like diners at the Algonquin Round Table.
"Britney & Kevin: Chaotic," UPN. Someday, if not already, Britney Spears will look at this personally approved reality series of hers and ask herself what anyone who saw it was wondering: "What sort of white-trash idiot is this?" She may never have the emotional distance or intelligence required, though, to realize that question applies not only to her hanger-on Kevin, but to herself as well.
"But Can They Sing?," VH1. No. Morgan Fairchild strutting to "These Boots Are Made for Walking" had a certain train-wreck fascination, but Bai Ling in anything was an attention-starved horror to behold: all costumes, no talent and her wardrobe was even scantier than her vocal range. Bye, Ling.
"Intervention," A&E. This series took people in deep emotional pain and at very vulnerable times in their lives, and abused them for the sake of alleged entertainment. Just ask Vanessa Marquez, the "ER" actress profiled and taken advantage of in the pilot. Unforgivably exploitive.
"The Law Firm," NBC. What was David E. Kelley thinking in putting his name to this dull, poorly structured, horribly cast reality series? Clearly, he wasn't thinking at all, and was spending all his time on the infinitely superior "Boston Legal." This should have been thrown out of court. Almost immediately, NBC dumped it onto Bravo.
"Martha Behind Bars," CBS. How bad was this second Martha Stewart biopic starring Cybill Shepherd? Much worse than the first, which is bad enough. And even worse than either of the real Stewart's two new shows from 2005, which is unthinkable.
"The Real Gilligan's Island," TBS. The first edition of this putrid reality-competition series made my Bottom 10 list last year. The 2005 edition was even worse, making it the only show to make the Bottom 10 two years in a row. Quite an achievement: a monument to terrible TV.
"Who's Your Daddy?," Fox. When this series premiered, offering a grown adopted woman the chance to identify her biological father from a group of candidates, I called it "a horrible, repellant, indefensible television show." If anything, I was too kind. It was one of the last of the mean-spirited reality shows.
"The Will," CBS. CBS unveiled this series the first week of January, and yanked it after a single telecast. As a result, we never did learn which of Bill Long's family members and hangers-on impressed him enough to win the ranch he was offering as this reality show's prize. To viewers, though, the only impressive thing here was the utter inhumanity of the entire enterprise. I called it "the worst show of the year," and added: "Granted, the year is only six days old at this point - but for the next 359 days, it'll be the low point to beat."
It was - and it wasn't beaten all year. On TV, where there's a "Will," there's no worse way.
The ONLY network pogroms I watched were Surface and Invasion...... I used to watch Lost but lost interest and Survivor never survived in my house. Same ole same ole lying, treachery and skinny bimbos with lots of bug bites......
If you like MythBusters, you might like Good Eats. It's sort of a cooking for science geeks type show.
You are kidding right? This is going to bomb bigger than Gigli...I can't even bear to watch the commercials...
It's gonna be a BIG hit..you just watch, my friend
Do they skate in vats of chocolate pudding ?
Up for a live thread?
Love House - some of the best writing on TV. SG1 and BSG are doing OK with me - Atlantis tough still touch and go. When they finally kill Ford it might have a chance.
By the way, that "Who's Your Daddy" stinker is the worst thing to happen to adoption since Roe vs. Wade.
Lost lost me. ... By the start of season 3, they still had not searched the 'island'...
Uh, pardon me, where and when do you live that you've seen the start of "Lost", Season 3? Here in the U.S., December of 2005, the show is midway through Season 2.
Of Rollergirls???
NO!
Sorry, Ken, but I have to agree with frogjerk on this one--that show has BOMB written all over it.
And while we're on the subject, no live thread for that celebrity ice skating show on FOX either.
;)
It is pretty dang hard to beat. I took the official "How Monk-ish Are You" quiz and got "More Monk-ish Than Most" back as an answer. Yaaay! (Seriously, I do not like my foods to touch each other. I even own divided plates just for keeping them seperate.)
Two and A Half Men
Out of Practice
Seriously?
FOX's "Prison Break" returns in March, too. That's a great show. Next to 24, it's one of the best thrillers on television. Highly recommended.
And "Criminal Minds" on CBS.
SO apparently there are more good shows people like than I have time to follow.
I completely disagree. This show seems to have saved some lives. It is not more entertaining than it is gut-wrenching. It really exposes the reality of drug addiction. These people are so strung out that half the time they don't even notice that they're on TV. But they're not left like that, each and every one is given an awesome chance to get real help, at no cost to them. The majority of them take the help and do well.
I have a hard time believing this reviewer actually watched the show. I don't see how she could miss the intent so badly.
Tivo :)
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