Posted on 03/22/2006 6:30:06 AM PST by mathprof
being supportive is necessary, enabling and glorifying the baby mamas is perpetuating the phenomenon. A friend of mine at the ofc, an older black woman, talks of the huge showy baby showers given for the unmarried mothers at her church. She takes incredible flak from her peers there for speaking disapprovingly of it. You can support the unwed mother and love her and her child, but making a huge splash says what to other young girls in the church? hey, if i get pregnant, they will have a big huge party for me and i will get lots of stuff! do you see the problem?
No it's not, but its a close second.
The last person anyone ever thinks of is the child.
Being raised without a father is terrible.
Sngle mothers do fine with tiny sweet babies but then they get to be 11-12-13 and the trouble starts.
i think it is a horrible and lamentable situation. i am 100% prolife and so i laud them for having the baby, but the utter lack of stigma and the sheer commonness of the occurrence means that unwed motherhood and the attendant problems that go along with it, will continue. THIS is what the black leadership should be focusing on, right here.
I'm talking about individuals helping individuals through a time of need (similar to one person supporting a friend through major surgery, divorce, death of a family member, etc).
I agree that what you described is flaunting the problem and does nothing to stop future pregnancies by other girls.
Oh, to be young, and stupid, and have no future . . . .
Speaking on behalf of American taxpayers, let me do the "lucky me" dance. :-\
it is difficult to negotiate that. This same friend of mine from the ofc had her own daughter get pregnant without the benefit of marriage. now, her daughter was 32 years old, college educated and a professional, but she was TERRIFIED to tell her mother that she was pregnant, because she knew what she would hear from her. AND she heard it. but my friend adores this grandson and is there for her daughter. The child's father is also in the picture and financially supportive. But there was never any doubt, my friend did NOT approve of the situation.
Really. I'll be sure to tell my mother, who had me out of wedlock and worked nights at Red Lobster to raise me. Nice knowing I'm a bastard, as well.
Let's say it clearly. You're an idiot.
"I see you get that support check in the mail
Ya open it and your like "What the Hell"
You say "This ain't even half of daycare"
Sayin to yourself "This here ain't fair"
This must be the part with a huge violin crescendo, right?
I bet the 21st century is really hard on you :)
That, at least is a good thing.
I'm sure there will be genocidal, racist freaks on this forum who will suggest that she should have done so, but the sane folks amongst us can ingore them.
Back in the day, we called them "homes for unwed mothers".
A young 'lady', who had 'misbehaved' with a young 'gentleman', who was unwilling to 'do the right thing' (or whose father didn't own a shotgun), could go there for a few months and deliver her child. The child would usually be adopted by a stable married couple, and the young lady could go on with her life. She had the double advantage of not having to raise a child she was unable to raise properly AND knowing that she had not slaughtered her child.
We're much more enlightened, now.
You could be right, but I doubt it. The truth is, one does not see much stigma attached to unwed pregnancy, much less sexual relations outside of marriage.
I realize most CPC's already do that. It's time for Christians to behave like Christians. It's not up to us to judge her or her actions: it's up to us to help, and minister to, her. That's what Jesus would do. (Later, He'd say, "Go and sin no more.")
Again, I doubt it. Jesus was quite clear about denouncing sin and calling people to repentance. If we are to act the same way, first we must be clear that fornication is a sin. And as soon as we do that, we will be accused of being "judgmental" and "unchristian."
Yes, we should be grateful whenever an unwed young woman chooses to give birth rather than to have an abortion. But that just shows how far our standards have fallen. I am sure that Jesus would have a different message: Do not commit fornication in the first place. If you do make a mistake, repent and do what is right for the child. Marry the baby's father and provide a good home for your child. If that is not feasible, give the baby up for adoption to a stable family. But do not try to raise the baby on your own.
Of course it is. Getting pregnant without a stable relationship in which to raise up the child is flaming selfish stupidity.
Non-judgementalism is abrogation of societal responsibility disguised in PC speak. What Christians are warned of is judging others by a standard that we would not wish to be judged by. If I was filling the world full of bastards, I'd expect to be rightly called irresponsible; so should these "baby mommas".
I don't get it. You mean young girls who go out and get pregnant -- and the guys who eagerly impregnate them, and the fools who tell them it's fine and they have a right to all the money they can get from others -- are NOT morally incompetent or worse?
I say again (from earlier thread on similar issue) I know an intelligent young woman, a beneficiary of "Family Life" edumication, who just wanted to get pregnant. She really saw nothing wrong with it. I think the real indication was that in a conversation where I was saying that my goal with my child was to help her be stronger than I in every way, this genius said she didn't want her kid to be better than she.
There's a deep and pernicious problem here, and a large segment of our society makes a living minimizing and enabling it.
If you are prochoice, then that's your thing. I'm not going ot debate you on that. I am just happy she didn't have one.
Hmmm...from the lyrics posted (thanks, cyborg!)...
I see ya payin' ya billsI suppose we should discourage such a mindset? I would have thought conservatives would be glad to see a song that points out how difficult life as a single parent can be, and encourages a girl to raise her self-esteem and not stay in the low-self-worth mindset that got her in the position in the first place.
I see ya workin' ya job
I see ya goin' to school
Abortion is a short term solution with long term problems...for most people. Maybe you're one of the those that doesn't have a problem.
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