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Humor: Airbus to build seven story airliner
Travel Fox ^ | July 5, 2004 | Unknown

Posted on 04/20/2006 1:34:59 PM PDT by Paul Ross

Airbus to build seven story airliner
Passengers will have choice of restaurants and theatres

TOULOUSE, FRANCE -- With delivery of its first 555 passenger, double-deck commercial airliner expected to take place later this year, Airbus announced today that it has initiated preliminary studies for the design and manufacture a 2600 passenger airplane.

The aircraft on the drawing board will have ten decks—seven for passengers, three for cargo and baggage. A prototype of the new aircraft, based on the company's Super Transporter design, will be called the "Airbus A390."

The plane is targeted for international service of flights of over 9,000 nautical miles (about 16,600 kilometers). The A390 will be powered by six Rolls-Royce turbofan engines developing thrusts of over 340,000lb each. According to a company spokesman, Jean-Claude Randele, "The break-even point for operating the airplane will be at a passenger load of about 1760 passengers."

Mr. Randele also noted, "Flights in 9,000 miles-plus range are expected to take 20 hours or longer so the A390 will include lots of amenities to help the passengers pass the time."

Among the features proposed for the future aircraft are six restaurants, three duty free shops, a lounge with a discothèque, two full sized movie theatres, a 14 lane bowling alley, a swimming pool with water slides, a wedding chapel, a fully functional medical clinic, and a 11,000 volume library.

Mr. Randele said that two major international carriers have already placed orders and that the new jets are scheduled to begin service in late summer of 2008.



TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: airbus; bogus; mammoth
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1 posted on 04/20/2006 1:35:03 PM PDT by Paul Ross
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To: Paul Ross
Hmmm ... illegal immigrants ... deportation .... hmmm ...
2 posted on 04/20/2006 1:37:25 PM PDT by manwiththehands (Lead, follow or shut up.)
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To: Paul Ross

Gotta be weird riding an elevator in an airplane.


3 posted on 04/20/2006 1:37:26 PM PDT by Jack Wilson
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To: Paul Ross

They have enough trouble building one story airliners ... You sure this isn't ScrappleFace?


4 posted on 04/20/2006 1:37:33 PM PDT by sono ("If Congressional brains were cargo, there'd be nothing to unload." - Rush Limbaugh)
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To: Paul Ross

7 stories.


5 posted on 04/20/2006 1:37:46 PM PDT by muawiyah (-)
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To: Paul Ross

How about a Rodeo?


6 posted on 04/20/2006 1:38:49 PM PDT by woofer2425 (Kerry LIED)
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To: manwiththehands
...Hmmm ... illegal immigrants ... deportation .... hmmm ...

I'd prefer converting a large sheep hauling ship.

7 posted on 04/20/2006 1:39:57 PM PDT by ncountylee (Dead terrorists smell like victory)
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To: Paul Ross
Thomas Merton, please call write the office!
8 posted on 04/20/2006 1:40:44 PM PDT by Grut
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To: Paul Ross
The schadenfreude potential here is huge. The 380 has yet to prove itself and may be another year away from actual service.
What can Airbus be thinking?
9 posted on 04/20/2006 1:40:54 PM PDT by Publius6961 (Multiculturalism is the white flag of a dying country)
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To: Paul Ross

"Among the features proposed for the future aircraft are six restaurants, three duty free shops, a lounge with a discothèque, two full sized movie theatres, a 14 lane bowling alley, a swimming pool with water slides, a wedding chapel, a fully functional medical clinic, and a 11,000 volume library."

But what you'll actually get is 7 floors of coach seats jammed in a closely as possible so as to maximize passenger load. Remember the 747 "Sky lounge"? Anyone actually ever seen one on a commercial airliner in the real world?


10 posted on 04/20/2006 1:41:31 PM PDT by -YYZ-
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To: manwiththehands

it has to be able to do touch-and-goes on a vacant field in
Mexico.


11 posted on 04/20/2006 1:43:15 PM PDT by Rakkasan1 (they love you in Mexico until you pay in pesos.)
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To: Paul Ross
14 lane bowling alley, a swimming pool with water slides

Swimming and bowling. Two activities that will never happen on an airplane.

12 posted on 04/20/2006 1:45:01 PM PDT by Minn
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To: -YYZ-

Yes. in 1974.


13 posted on 04/20/2006 1:45:14 PM PDT by patton (Once you steal a firetruck, there's really not much else you can do except go for a joyride.)
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To: sono

Did you miss "Humor" in the headlines?


14 posted on 04/20/2006 1:45:42 PM PDT by fish hawk (TU)
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To: -YYZ-

The really cheap seats will be in steerage. They are housed within the Empannage and have no window seats. There are no other amenities. Carry on is limited to 4 liters of water and two sandwiches.


15 posted on 04/20/2006 1:45:53 PM PDT by bert (K.E. N.P. Slay Pinch)
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To: woofer2425
Bidets! You gotta have bidets! It's so French!
16 posted on 04/20/2006 1:49:51 PM PDT by HChampagne (I am not an AARP member and never will be.)
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To: Paul Ross

Too convincing. ;')


17 posted on 04/20/2006 1:51:15 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: bert
Can you imagine the yaw you would experience if you rode in the empennage/VS?? LOL Actually it IS big enough to accommodate passengers. Wouldn't be hard to add windows. Heat, cabin pressure and cabin service might be issues. Actually a wing root seat might be cool too.
18 posted on 04/20/2006 1:52:15 PM PDT by Blueflag (Res ipsa loquitor)
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To: HChampagne

Each seat comes with its own white linen napkin that doubles as a flag ...


19 posted on 04/20/2006 1:53:17 PM PDT by Blueflag (Res ipsa loquitor)
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To: Paul Ross
Airbus should slap some wings, wheels, and a tail on this thing, and they will be all set:
20 posted on 04/20/2006 1:53:45 PM PDT by Cecily
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To: fish hawk

I did ... working here LOL.


21 posted on 04/20/2006 1:55:17 PM PDT by sono ("If Congressional brains were cargo, there'd be nothing to unload." - Rush Limbaugh)
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To: sono
This was the referenced inspiration for this spoof on Airbus's penchant for grandiosity:


22 posted on 04/20/2006 1:55:22 PM PDT by Paul Ross (We cannot be for lawful ordinances and for an alien conspiracy at one and the same moment.-Cicero)
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To: Minn

I was hoping for a pool hall myself.


23 posted on 04/20/2006 2:01:47 PM PDT by Andyman (God loves you just the way you are . . . but too much to leave you that way.)
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To: Paul Ross
Airbus announced today that it has initiated preliminary studies for the design and manufacture a 2600 passenger airplane.

Take out the amenities, put in seats with 12 inch legroom and you can get at least 15,000 passengers on board. Of course you will still have to keep the deep vein thrombosis clinic.

(yes, I know it's a joke)

24 posted on 04/20/2006 2:04:04 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If you have a leaking pipe, you shut off the water valve before deciding on amnesty for the puddles.)
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To: Paul Ross

Shooting range! It has to have a range for rifles and pistols!


25 posted on 04/20/2006 2:04:06 PM PDT by pabianice
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To: Paul Ross

Good luck and safe flying. Anything less would be...


26 posted on 04/20/2006 2:04:44 PM PDT by luvbach1 (More true now than ever: Near the belly of the beast in San Diego)
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To: Paul Ross

Forget the wienermobile, just repaint that and you have a weinerplane.


27 posted on 04/20/2006 2:06:31 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If you have a leaking pipe, you shut off the water valve before deciding on amnesty for the puddles.)
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To: Paul Ross

Yeah? Tell me how they're gonna fit three tons of stale pretzels on that behemoth, hmm?


28 posted on 04/20/2006 2:10:07 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: KarlInOhio
Forget the wienermobile, just repaint that and you have a weinerplane.

There is a resemblance:


29 posted on 04/20/2006 2:11:29 PM PDT by Paul Ross (We cannot be for lawful ordinances and for an alien conspiracy at one and the same moment.-Cicero)
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To: Paul Ross

Didn't the Guppies used to have turbo props? When did they upgrade to turbo fans?


30 posted on 04/20/2006 2:14:44 PM PDT by AFreeBird (your mileage may vary)
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To: Billthedrill
Yeah? Tell me how they're gonna fit three tons of stale pretzels on that behemoth, hmm?

Maybe they'll go with SuperPretzels:


31 posted on 04/20/2006 2:17:34 PM PDT by Paul Ross (We cannot be for lawful ordinances and for an alien conspiracy at one and the same moment.-Cicero)
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To: AFreeBird

> When did they upgrade to turbo fans?

When Airbus built 'em. That's a "Beluga," not a "Guppy."


32 posted on 04/20/2006 2:18:21 PM PDT by orionblamblam (I'm interested in science and preventing its corruption, so here I am.)
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To: Paul Ross

Where's the casino?


33 posted on 04/20/2006 2:18:42 PM PDT by Kokojmudd (Outsource GM to a Red State! Put Walmart in charge of all Federal agencies!)
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To: AFreeBird

The guppies were retired years ago, the new transports are based on the A300 and known as the Beluga.


34 posted on 04/20/2006 2:18:56 PM PDT by Energy Alley
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To: Paul Ross
2600 passengers, French passengers. Unwashed French passengers.

Ewwwwwwww.

35 posted on 04/20/2006 2:20:20 PM PDT by Mike Darancette (Proud soldier in the American Army of Occupation..)
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To: Mike Darancette

"Unwashed" and "French" is redundant.


36 posted on 04/20/2006 2:24:02 PM PDT by quark
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To: Paul Ross

its a joke
and if its not it should be
airbus sucks ass


37 posted on 04/20/2006 2:29:17 PM PDT by Roverman2K
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To: AFreeBird
Didn't the Guppies used to have turbo props? When did they upgrade to turbo fans?

Yes. They did and still do. The Super Transporter is an Airbus-derived aircraft that was obviously inspired by the U.S.'s Super Guppy.

Imitation...the sincerest form of flattery.

Meanwhile, with Boeing going along the same production approach as Airbus...they are making their own version...the 747400LCF... to transport fuselage sections...all the way from Italy to Seattle...


38 posted on 04/20/2006 2:31:22 PM PDT by Paul Ross (We cannot be for lawful ordinances and for an alien conspiracy at one and the same moment.-Cicero)
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To: Paul Ross
I'm there, as soon as they build a parking garage big enough for my SUV:


39 posted on 04/20/2006 2:32:09 PM PDT by Gil4 (This tagline for rent - cheap!)
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To: woofer2425

I'm thinking Nascar track on levels 2 through 4.


40 posted on 04/20/2006 2:34:47 PM PDT by Proud_USA_Republican (We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good. - Hillary Clinton)
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To: Paul Ross

Even ScrappleFace couldn't do better ... thank you for a much - needed laugh.


41 posted on 04/20/2006 2:36:44 PM PDT by sono ("If Congressional brains were cargo, there'd be nothing to unload." - Rush Limbaugh)
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To: Paul Ross

And yet still no flying cars. pity.


42 posted on 04/20/2006 2:41:56 PM PDT by CAP811 (One man can change the world with a bullet in the right place)
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To: Paul Ross

WHY do people ruin jokes by putting "Humor" in the title?

This reminds me of those Iowahawk satires that you could find because he put his own name first in the title.


43 posted on 04/20/2006 2:44:23 PM PDT by HostileTerritory
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To: Gil4

Nice work! How long did that take you?


44 posted on 04/20/2006 2:45:57 PM PDT by 4Runner
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To: -YYZ-
Remember the 747 "Sky lounge"?

I do. But I was only about 8 or 9 years old. My father was a pilot for American and we flew on one of the first ones. It was cool. Big buffet in the front of the lower section.

Then they deregulated the airlines for the unwashed masses. Goodbye skylounges.

45 posted on 04/20/2006 2:50:06 PM PDT by PsyOp (The commonwealth is theirs who hold the arms.... - Aristotle.)
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To: Paul Ross
Yea, I knew about the new 747 hauler, but wasn't aware that Airbust had built a copy of the Guppy.

Those Frogs are so original.

46 posted on 04/20/2006 2:51:30 PM PDT by AFreeBird (your mileage may vary)
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To: Gil4

Okay--I found the website.


47 posted on 04/20/2006 2:53:23 PM PDT by 4Runner
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To: Paul Ross
a 14 lane bowling alley

Yeah, I can see it now. All I need if 4 pins to break 220 and just as I release the ball the pilot banks the plane.

48 posted on 04/20/2006 2:55:48 PM PDT by Non-Sequitur
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To: Non-Sequitur
Yeah, I can see it now. All I need if 4 pins to break 220 and just as I release the ball the pilot banks the plane.

Good point.

In the same line of reasoning, what happens to the pool water when the plane banks?

And, how long would the runway need to be to handle that beast?
49 posted on 04/20/2006 3:02:23 PM PDT by adorno
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To: -YYZ-

Actually virgin atlantic they have a freestanding bar. I remember fly an American Air 747 cross country and having a buffet.


50 posted on 04/20/2006 3:03:30 PM PDT by appeal2
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