Posted on 05/21/2006 11:55:33 AM PDT by Extremely Extreme Extremist
(CBS) CHICAGO It's a trend that some fear may have long-term consequences. More unmarried women over the age of 25 are not waiting for Mr. Right.
As CBS 2's Alita Guillen reports, these ladies are having children on their own.
The fantasy father at their fingertips is a sperm donor with all the right stuff.
Katherine Gehl and April Lashbrook had successful careers and dated, but they didn't have husbands. They heard their biological clocks ticking loudly.
"It was like a time bomb," April said.
"I need to go and have a baby and be a mother, and so I did," Katherine said.
Women used to depend on chemistry in the bedroom to conceive a child. Now, more and more women are turning to the lab and depending more on science than sex.
This twist on the mating game begins at a sperm bank, where donors can earn up to $900 a month.
"These guys are college students. This is a form of income," said California Cryobank Medical Director Dr. Cappy Rothman.
The sperm undergoes testing for diseases, genetic defects and blood type.
"Donor sperm, in many ways, is guaranteed good sperm," said Dr. Lauren Streicher, a gynecologist at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
When April chose her donor in 2003, she got a long profile including a medical history and even written answers to questions.
"I knew immediately that was who I was going to choose," she said.
Now, many banks offer much more, including childhood photos and the donors' voices on CD.
Once chosen, the sperm remains frozen and stored until needed. Then it can be shipped anywhere.
While women can inseminate themselves at home, both April and Katherine used fertility specialists.
Many of these donors have already proven their fertility.
"It's an excellent way of getting pregnant because you usually have men who have confirmed pregnancy," said Dr. Brian Kaplan, a fertility specialist with Fertility Clinics of Illinois.
"We are creating a real potential disaster here," said Elizabeth Marquardt with New York City's Affiliate Scholar Institute for American Values.
Some critics are concerned that as this practice becomes more popular, and that with an unknown number of children from the same donor, that two of them might unknowingly hook up.
"In the future, we will have to have a DNA test with anyone we want to have sex with just to make sure we're not related to them," Marquardt said.
Many sperm banks say they try to limit pregnancies based on geographic area to reduce that risk. However, in a transient society, it may be hard to do.
Critics also worry how this might change the definition of family.
"As a society, we're saying fathers don't matter," Marquardt said.
Thirteen-year-old Liz Herzog, whose father is donor number 1002 from Virginia's Fairfax Cryobank, says she's happy with her life.
"I can't even say that once in a while I wish I had a father, because I don't," she said.
Through the Donor Sibling Registry Web site, she has discovered at least 10 half-sibling and has met seven, including Callie from Pennsylvania.
Liz's mother, Diana, thinks these newly forged relationships will last a lifetime.
"You can only hope that your child will be well-adjusted and happy enough when they grow up that they won't feel that they're missing too much," Diana Herzog said.
April's daughter, Julia, is now almost three years old.
"When she was born, it was just amazing," April said.
Katherine's daughter, Alexandra, is eight months old.
Both are enjoying every moment motherhood has to offer.
"It is so much greater than I had any idea," Katherine said.
April, Julia's mom, knows of six half-siblings so far.
All of the single moms we spoke with think the possibility of meeting and dating a half-sibling is very remote because they are very open or plan to be open with their children.
It is interesting to note that back when sperm banks first opened in the 1970s, it was all married couples seeking sperm donors. Doctors say those couples were more likely to keep it secret.
"Your cynicism and callous disregard for the cruelty of abortion, and the destruction of embryos necessitated by artificial conception is evidence of the diminution of what makes human civilization human and civilized."
Huh? In reply to WHAT post of mine?
What a nefarious plot, to be sure! And then they have their "anchor babies" here!
Yeah but will everyone be required to take a DNA test before marriage? What if Joe and Susie's genetic offspring(the ones they donated-not siblings known to each other) get jiggy on Spring Break, and the girl finds herself pregnant? Ooops, that's what abortion is for. /sarcasm
What happens if the offspring decide to do the right thing and get married, and raise the child? None of this is beyond the realm of possibility, imo. The smart, rich people float in their own environment, as do poor people, illegals, and criminals.
Question is whether it's a second-best "choice", or a primary preference.
The latter seems odd, and really doesn't compute for most people because it's contrary to millenia of human history, to genetics, to anthropology, and just about every other characteristic of human civilization.
And per the foregoing, there *is* no civilization with single motherhood as a "preference".
Well in these women's case, the sex wasn't free was it?
You should have pinged wagglebee in reply to me.
And I agree with you.
Oh, no! A.B. Normal!
When it comes to shaking men down for money, there's nothing the "family" courts will stop at. Case (after case) in point.
Thanks; I try to remember but often do not.
I won't crack wise on this one -- As a matter of a very prudent and commonsense precaution, I would advise everyone to have a complete family medical history prior to conception. Geneticists can easily work out the odds of some horrible disease. Unfortunately, this is rarely done -- since it isn't covered by health insurance.
That said, the risk of some terrible disease befalling a kid conceived the old fashion way of bumping bellies is far greater than the risk of half-siblings meeting and falling in love.
And I grew up in a single-parent home (7 kids!) and came out allright. She died very young, just fom having too much of a load for too long.
I knew my Dad but he wasn't a part of my life.
All that notwithstanding, kids need a dad and a mom, if at all possible. Putting one into a single parent home on purpose is just selfish.
These kids are getting the love they need. If only the rest of the world would be so lucky.
As best I can tell, you are both pro-abortion, I find that view offensive, but I do not feel the animosity toward you that you seem to feel toward me.
"Large" is a pretty non-specific number to cause you to go off on an arithmetic spree to try prove it false. Of course it's not large compared to WWI or WWII -- and I'll note that the huge number of children who grew up in mother-only homes in those eras did just fine on the whole. Compared to the generation in which the people who are currently having babies grew up, there will be signficantly more children growing up over the next 15-20 years in war-widow-headed homes.
It's all about THEMSELVES, isn't it? Maybe that's why they've had difficulty finding 'Mr. Right'.
"As best I can tell, you are both pro-abortion, I find that view offensive, but I do not feel the animosity toward you that you seem to feel toward me."
How on earth would you be able to tell that? And why on earth would you also believe we feel animosity toward you?
Maybe it might be because you are on here posting that just because these women are buying semen to produce kids that they are also having abortions? Nah, that can be it at all.
Whatever, I'm done with this argument.
I know, but my point is that in terms of day to day life experience, a mother-only home is a mother-only home. It will be tougher for kids who started out with a father, and had one long enough to remember it (i.e. past age 3), and then lost the father to divorce, abandonment, or death, than for those who didn't start out with a father and thus don't have that sense of loss. Apart from that distinction, the quality of the child's life is likely to track the quality of the mother pretty directly.
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