Posted on 11/23/2007 4:50:44 AM PST by steadfastconservative
Meet the women who won't have babies - because they're not eco friendly By NATASHA COURTENAY-SMITH and MORAG TURNER - More by this author »
Had Toni Vernelli gone ahead with her pregnancy ten years ago, she would know at first hand what it is like to cradle her own baby, to have a pair of innocent eyes gazing up at her with unconditional love, to feel a little hand slipping into hers - and a voice calling her Mummy. But the very thought makes her shudder with horror.
Because when Toni terminated her pregnancy, she did so in the firm belief she was helping to save the planet.
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Desperate measures: Toni Vernelli was steralised at age 27 to reduce her carbon footprint
Incredibly, so determined was she that the terrible "mistake" of pregnancy should never happen again, that she begged the doctor who performed the abortion to sterilise her at the same time.
He refused, but Toni - who works for an environmental charity - "relentlessly hunted down a doctor who would perform the irreversible surgery.
Finally, eight years ago, Toni got her way.
At the age of 27 this young woman at the height of her reproductive years was sterilised to "protect the planet".
Incredibly, instead of mourning the loss of a family that never was, her boyfriend (now husband) presented her with a congratulations card.
While some might think it strange to celebrate the reversal of nature and denial of motherhood, Toni relishes her decision with an almost religious zeal.
"Having children is selfish. It's all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet," says Toni, 35.
"Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."
While most parents view their children as the ultimate miracle of nature, Toni seems to see them as a sinister threat to the future.
It's an extreme stance which one might imagine is born from an unhappy childhood or an upbringing among parents who share similar, strong beliefs.
But nothing in Toni's safe, middle- class upbringing gave any clues as to the views which would shape her adult life. The eldest of three daughters, she enjoyed a loving, close-knit family life.
She excelled at her Roman Catholic school, and her doting parents fully expected her to grow up, settle down and start a family of her own.
"When I finished school, I got a job in retail and at 19, I met my first husband," says Toni.
"No sooner had we finished our wedding cake than all our relatives started to ask when they could expect a new addition to the family.
"I always told them that would never happen, but no one listened.
"When I was a child, I loved bird-watching, and in my teens that developed into a passion for the environment as well as the welfare of animals - I became a vegetarian when I was 15.
"Even my parents used to smile and say: 'You'll change your mind one day about babies.'
"The only person who understood how I felt was my first husband, who didn't want children either.
"We both passionately wanted to save the planet - not produce a new life which would only add to the problem."
So, instead of mapping out plans for a family, Toni and her husband began discussing medical options to ensure they would never reproduce.
Toni, from Taunton, Somerset, says: "When I was 21, I considered sterilisation for the first time.
"I'd been on the Pill for five years and didn't want to take hormone-based contraception indefinitely.
"I went to my GP, but she wouldn't even consider the idea.
"She said I was far too young and told me I could 'absolutely not' be sterilised, and that I was bound to change my mind one day.
"I found her attitude frustrating.
"We decided my husband would have a vasectomy instead. He was 25, just a few years older than me, but the GP allowed him to go ahead.
"I found it insulting that she thought that, just because I was a woman, I'd reach a point where an urge to breed would overcome all rational thought."
When Toni was 23, her marriage ended. She says: "We married very young and grew apart."
Toni found herself young, single and with a new life in London, working for an environmental charity.
But while other young women dream of marriage and babies, Toni was convinced it was her duty not to have a child.
She claims she was far from alone.
"Through my job I made many friends who, like me, were more interested in campaigning, trying to change society and save the planet rather than having families of our own.
"We used to say that if ever we did want children, we'd adopt, as there are so many children in need of a loving family.
"At least then, we'd be doing something positive for the world, rather than something negative."
Toni was happy, at last, with fellow environmentalists who shared her philosophy. But when she was 25, disaster struck.
"I discovered that despite taking the Pill, I'd accidentally fallen pregnant by my boyfriend.
"I was horrified. I knew straight away there was no option of having the baby.
"I went to my doctor about having a termination, and asked if I could be sterilised at the same time.
"This time it was a male doctor. I remember saying to him: 'I want to make sure this never happens again.'
"He said: 'You may not want a child, but one day you may meet a man who does'. He refused to consider it.
"I didn't like having a termination, but it would have been immoral to give birth to a child that I felt strongly would only be a burden to the world.
"I've never felt a twinge of guilt about what I did, and have honestly never wondered what might have been.
"After my abortion, I was more determined than ever to pursue sterilisation.
"By then, I had my mother's support - she realised I wasn't going to grow out of my beliefs, and was proud of my campaigning work."
At the age of 27, Toni moved to Brighton, where her dream of medical intervention was realised.
Toni says: "My new GP was more forward-thinking and referred me to hospital. I couldn't wait for the operation."
As Toni awaited the surgery which would destroy her fertility, she met her future husband, Ed, 38, an IT consultant.
"A week before my sterilisation, I went to an animal rights demonstration and met Ed.
"I liked him immediately, and I told him what I was doing straight away - because if he wanted children then he needed to know I wasn't the woman for him," she says.
"But Ed was relieved when I told him how I felt and said he didn't want children for the same reasons."
On the morning of surgery, Ed gave Toni a card saying "Congratulations".
Toni says: "After the operation, which is irreversible, I didn't feel emotional - just relieved.
"I've never doubted that I made the right decision. Ed and I married in September 2002, and have a much nicer lifestyle as a result of not having children.
"We love walking and hiking, and we often go away for weekends.
"Every year, we also take a nice holiday - we've just come back from South Africa.
"We feel we can have one long-haul flight a year, as we are vegan and childless, thereby greatly reducing our carbon footprint and combating over-population.
"My only frustration is that other people are unable to accept my decision.
"When I tell people why I don't want children, they look at me as if I was planning to commit murder.
"A woman who does not have maternal-feelings is seen as some sort of anomaly.
"And a woman like me, who is not having children in order to save the planet, is considered barking mad.
"What I consider mad are those women who ferry their children short distances in gas-guzzling cars."
But Toni is far from alone.
When Sarah Irving, 31, was a teenager she sat down and wrote a wish-list for the future.
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Sarah Irving and Mark Hudson were adamant they would live the greenest possible lives
Most young girls dream of marriage and babies. But Sarah dreamed of helping the environment - and as she agonised over the perils of climate change, the loss of animal species and destruction of wilderness, she came to the extraordinary decision never to have a child.
"I realised then that a baby would pollute the planet - and that never having a child was the most environmentally friendly thing I could do."
Sarah's boyfriends have been less understanding than Toni's, with the breakdown of several relationships.
"I've had boyfriends who wanted children, so I knew I couldn't be with them long term,' says Sarah.
"I've had to break up with a couple of boyfriends because I didn't think it was fair to waste their time.
"In my early 20s I had a boyfriend who I really liked, but he wanted to start a family as soon as possible.
"I was tempted to stay with him and hope he would change his mind, but I knew I couldn't provide him with what he wanted so I walked away."
Sarah started work for the Ethical Consumer magazine, and seven years ago she met her fiancÈ Mark Hudson, a 37-year- old health- care worker.
When they started dating in 2003, they immediately discussed their views on children.
"To my relief, Mark was as adamant as me that he didn't want a family. After a year of dating, we started talking about sterilisation," says Sarah.
"I didn't want to have an 'accident' if contraception didn't work - we would be faced with the dilemma of whether to keep the baby."
While other young couples sit down and discuss mortgages, Sarah and Mark discussed the medical options for one or the other to be sterilised.
"We realised it was a much more straightforward procedure, safer and easier, for a man to be sterilised through a vasectomy than a woman to be sterilised," says Sarah.
"In January 2005, Mark had a vasectomy and we both felt incredibly relieved there was no chance of us having a baby."
Ironically, the couple who have decided to deny themselves children for the sake of the planet, actively enjoy the company of young children.
Sarah says: "We both have nieces who we love dearly and I consider myself a caring, nurturing person.
"My sister recently had a little girl, and that has taken the pressure off me because my parents wanted to be grandparents.
"At first, they were surprised by my decision, but they have never criticised us.
"I'd never dream of preaching to others about having a family. It's a very personal choice. What I do like to do is make people aware of the facts.
"When I see a mother with a large family, I don't resent her, but I do hope she's thought through the implications."
Mark adds: "Sarah and I live as green a life a possible. We don't have a car, cycle everywhere instead, and we never fly.
"We recycle, use low-energy light bulbs and eat only organic, locally produced food.
"In short, we do everything we can to reduce our carbon footprint. But all this would be undone if we had a child.
"That's why I had a vasectomy. It would be morally wrong for me to add to climate change and the destruction of Earth.
"Sarah and I don't need children to feel complete. What makes us happy is knowing that we are doing our bit to save our precious planet."
Her Mum and Dad must be so proud! And so happy they don’t have to enjoy grandchildren. What a waste of time that would be.
They should off themselves and complete the job.
I don’t think that she is insane or stupid. She is selfish and she is rationalizing that selfishness by claiming that her choice is good for the environment. She is denying to others the goods of the earth, the good of life, which she herself enjoys.
thanks for the thanksgiving puke!!!!
Just imagine all the Earth destroying power that went into publishing this particular story in print and on the Internet. Thousands of acts were set in motion when the subjects of this story agreed to blab a little bit about their moronic outlook on life. Trees were killed so that this story could be printed. Fuel was burned at various points along the way. Energy was consumed. Even now, as we all sit in our homes, we are the hapless victims/accomplices of these so called eco-friendly citizens. The doomsday clock just clicked another few seconds ahead, thanks to these selfish rat-bastards. I hope they can live with that.
:P
Darwinism at work. Methinks we don’t want her offspring around....more welfare mouths to feed. Why welfare? That kind of thinking shows the signs of a future English major....who will publish in the Journal of Modern Languages and have no source of income save for some “university” taking our taxes and burning the money. Sheesh.....give her the abortion now!!
In a way, that's true. Unfortunately for us, as confirmed fanatics, they will relentlessly crusade to force their insane views on us for the rest of their miserable, twisted lives.
These are now totalitarian activists who will never, ever stop in their quest to validate their own eco-fascist pathologies by making the rest of us adhere to them. They have cut off their noses to spite their faces and they will make the rest of us do the same if they can accomplish it.
...not with a turkey baster.
Whether you follow a particular religion or are an atheist, it is an undeniable fact that it took a heck of a lot of effort to pass the spark of life, the primordial life force, or what ever you care to call it, on to you. It is an act of supreme ingratitude all the way back to the very beginning of your line of predecessors (human and/or otherwise) to say you have so little regard for this most precious gift, that you don’t want to pass it on to at least one person in the next generation.
Further, the effort required to responsibly conceive, care for, and guide children to adulthood is, in my opinion, perhaps the key experience that helps develop a sense of generosity and compassion in individual human beings. It also provides a transcendent shared common experience that can act as a basis for interaction among what are otherwise highly diverse peoples and cultures.
This is not an argument for high birthrates or for compulsory parenthood. There are clearly persons who have no business becoming parents. There is, arguably, a point where a family or a nation can have severe problems with having too many children (just as it can with too few children being born). The acknowledged “no net growth rate” for reproduction at the societal level is 2.1 children per woman (split almost evenly between males and females at birth). Obviously, this woman’s lack of participation (and any others like her) will be offset by women who have three or more children. However, when there are too many women having too few babies (as is currently the case in western Europe, Russia, and Japan), you get population contraction which can have devastating military, political, economic, and environmental effects on society.
There is some truth in the argument that the deliberately childless, especially those who decide to take that stance for ecological reasons, should go ahead and commit suicide. They continue to consume resources as long as they are alive. Very few of them (like the rest of us) are likely to live lives of such outstanding merit that it can justify their continued burden on the earth (poor, poor Mother Earth). This is especially true after middle age when they begin to consume resources in greater amounts than they themselves can offset by their own productive efforts. At that point, they become parasites. Now, if they had children and grand children, they could claim that their continued resource needs are offset by the surplus in the productive efforts of their descendants.
Of course, I don’t personally believe in or endorse this suicide argument because it is an affront to Almighty God, the creator and sustainer of all.
Real nice. Some people can't have kids you know.
And when these a-holes retire they will no doubt refuse all Medicare, Social Security, any other government funded benefits, to avoid living off the labors of other people's children. Right. Talk about selfish.
I think it's the other way around, Einstein.
Actually that seems to be true. If they think at all, it is in sound bites and cliches, not rational trains of thought that start with a question and lead to an answer. Instead they absorb pre-programmed answers and then apply them rather indiscriminately to questions.
It would be a really good idea to spread this belief in all the countries of the middle east and africa.
As an only child, I can say one my life’s regrets will be that I didn’t have a sibling.
There is no one that I share genetics or upbringing, and it leaves me with a feeling of being “cut off”.
I have no anger towards my parents, as I know they thought that it was best. (My father actually wanted no children, but agreed to one.)
I now have a 5yo daughter, and another due next month. Don’t know if we’ll have anymore or not, since we are both in our upper ‘30s.
IMO, the greatest gift to my daughter will be a little sister, and vice versa.
Natural selection in real time.
I think it’s a wonderful thing. She will not reproduce creating more idiots like herself. She takes herself out of the gene pool. Now if only she can create a movement of like idiots.
“We feel we can have one long-haul flight a year, as we are vegan and childless, thereby greatly reducing our carbon footprint and combating over-population.”
If she was as breathless as she sounds, she could eliminate her carbon footprint altogether.
Who do you suppose paid for the abortion and sterilization?
Why don’t they do the right thing and just kill themselves...the ultimate sacrifice
easy to abort a baby....the baby had no say.
cowards and fools....sick.....and way too many of them
they can all off themselves and save an army of carbon effin footprints
i have yet to meet any hardcore lefties who are not mentally ill and incredibly messed up with low self esteem and malignant narcissim...the usual lib paradox of personality
The New Gods.....Environmentalism and Sensitivity to Bigotry and Racism
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