Skip to comments.Molests Your Poodle
Posted on 05/24/2012 6:49:11 AM PDT by Lazamataz
My Native-American name, from now on, is "Molests Your Poodle." You see, I have recently discovered that I am American Indian -- Cherokee, to be precise.
How did I come to know that I had this wonderful new heritage? Simple: I read Ben Quigly's article about Elizabeth Warren (who is running for the Senate in Massachusetts), in which he defends her claim to be of Cherokee heritage.
Ben produces no evidence that Ms. Warren actually does have Cherokee blood in her veins. In fact, he seems to concede she has none. However, he states that in some metaphysical way, that we are all Cherokee. So, since we are all included in that group, her claim to be Cherokee was in no way intended to be a ruse. It was never intended to gain her political favor and perks in acadamia and other venues, prior to her run for office. It was merely that she intuitively understood that every single person alive is an American Indian.... metaphysically, if not in fact.
Does this not perfectly capture the rationale of the common liberal? If the facts go against you, claim that your case is sound anyways and wave your arms wildly, conjuring images of 'spirits' or 'code words' or 'dog whistles' or 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that George Zimmerman was viciously attacked by Trayvon Martin, ignore this evidence, press on with the case, and talk about 'institutional racism'.
When the facts show that Obama is a none-too-closeted America-despising Socialist, ignore the evidence and speak of 'dog whistle racism' and 'code words'.
And when your candidate for Senate in Massachusetts has been shown to be an outright liar about her heritage, so that she may receive perks and career enhancements reserved for people actually of that heritage, ignore the facts and preach that it "is not so much a lie as it is the acculturation of personal and regional American myth."
Facts are unimportant to a true-believing liberal. Rationality the first discarded of the luggage they carry.
So, in honor of this absolutely bizarre twisting of reality to conform to a liberal need to adhere to a lie, I would like to honor Ben Quigley with his Native American name: "Lap Poodle of Liberals".
And I am to be known as "Molests Your Poodle".
Thanks for the link - I did it and almost fell off my chair laughing.
We are having a war on squirrels around here - trapping & relocating them away from the birdfeeders. We caught 3 yesterday & have one in the trap right now.
Anyway, I took the ‘quiz’ and got my Native American Name: Nina Salai ...... which means “Strong Squirrel”!! :-)
I have ‘signed in’ to many different websites and blog posting sites, even FR when I first started, and have received that message when prompted to choose a screen name..............
Pretty darn metaphysical, if you ask me.
Thanks for the laugh of the day.
You have given new meaning to the phrase “screwed the pooch”!
“My Native-American name, from now on, is ‘Molests Your Poodle.’”
And your son’s Native-American name is “Condom Made In China”.
beat me to it.....
I knew some guys in TX that formed a triathalon team, they used the Spanish translation as their team name. Loved it.
Dawg, please put me on your ping list.
I was invited to take part in an indian dance ceremony. I put on my loin cloth and started to dance around the fire. There’s a lot of twirling in indian dancing. After the dance, the chief called me over.
“We are now going to give you your official indian name. It is CHEE-CHOOK-A-MAWAY.”
I was honored.
“What does that mean?” I asked him.
“It roughly translates out to ‘WHITE MOON WITH A CRACK’”
I’d forgot to wear my buckskin breeches.
I have no native blood in me so I feel deprived but I would gladly join the Laz tribe since it sounds like the coolest tribal name.
Sign me up. Thanks
Your name means: “Solitary Deer Jumping Downhill”
So I’m a Siouxicidal cervine?
My dad swore that six generations back, somebody in his family married an Indian.
Although I have high cheekbones, I have never attempted to capitalize on it.
Once more, with feeling....
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WOW! My tribal roots!!!
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Yeah ok but I am hoping you would open and lead the North American branch of the tribe.
I was waiting for that one