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BOB DOLE to LENO: "Osama wrote Clinton asking for a pardon..." [LIVE, if that can be said of Dole]
The Tonight Show [NBC] | December 12, 2001 | Bob Dole, paraphrased

Posted on 12/12/2001 8:34:04 PM PST by Silly

Bob Dole just quipped to Jay Leno: "There's a rumor going around Washington that Osama bin Laden has written a letter to Clinton, asking for a pardon. I guess he doesn't know that Clinton isn't President anymore."

What a riot Bob Dole is! Did anyone else see the remark?


TOPICS: Breaking News; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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I'd like to have dinner with Bush, but I'd settle for lunch with Dole.

Still being,

1 posted on 12/12/2001 8:34:05 PM PST by Silly
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To: Yehuda
I wish I had a transcript for you all, instead of having to rely on my own paraphrase.

It was pretty funny, and Leno had a good laugh.

2 posted on 12/12/2001 8:36:11 PM PST by Silly
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To: Silly
I wonder if Dole has jokewriters or comes up with things himself :)
3 posted on 12/12/2001 8:36:59 PM PST by College Repub
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To: Silly
Thanks for the heads-up, I will watch tonight.
4 posted on 12/12/2001 8:38:30 PM PST by StoneColdGOP
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To: College Repub
I get the impression he has a good sense of humor on his own. He can really zap some good one-liners.
5 posted on 12/12/2001 8:39:03 PM PST by Clintons Are White Trash
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: College Repub
Of course you were being Silly -- you know he is clever enough to throw off these quips easily on his own. What a funny guy.
7 posted on 12/12/2001 8:43:34 PM PST by Silly
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To: JoeEveryman
Also, said that he fully expects to see Gore show up in one of those caves...

AND he will - next SNL ...

LOL!

8 posted on 12/12/2001 8:44:17 PM PST by _Jim
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Comment #9 Removed by Moderator

To: _Jim
Forget about the caves. Who do you think is in that green shipping crate? Bet the marines are having more fun than we thought!! They probably come by the window to dump in handfuls of chad. :) (Seems like such a long time ago, doesn't it?)
10 posted on 12/12/2001 8:52:26 PM PST by the_Watchman
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To: Silly
There's a rumor going around Washington that Osama bin Laden has written a letter to Clinton, asking for a pardon.

I'd guess bin Laden's chances would depend on the size of his check. Clinton won't be deterred by that other little detail.

11 posted on 12/12/2001 8:54:32 PM PST by owl
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To: JoeEveryman
... and that Johnny Cochran wants to get a hold of the John Walker case so he can play the "Afghani Card."

This is *truly* turning into an episode of "As the Worm Churns"!

LOL!

12 posted on 12/12/2001 9:00:10 PM PST by _Jim
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To: College Repub
I remember back in '96, Letterman asked Dole why he was running for President. "Well, every country deserves a President," replied Dole.

His advisors had Dole rein in his humor during the '96 campaign. I don't know if it would've made any difference in the final result, but I still think it was one of the biggest mistakes of his campaign.

13 posted on 12/12/2001 9:01:46 PM PST by Celtjew Libertarian
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To: owl
I'd guess bin Laden's chances would depend on the size of his check.

If he offered Clinton 72 virgins, he might also have had a chance.

14 posted on 12/12/2001 9:02:48 PM PST by Celtjew Libertarian
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To: JoeEveryman
"Afghani Card."

Okay, a little nit-picking is in order here:

A person from Afghanistan is an Afghan; the country's main unit of currency is the Afghani.

Not a big deal; just needed to set the record straight.

Just being,

15 posted on 12/12/2001 9:05:19 PM PST by Silly
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To: JoeEveryman
Chris Matthews made a similar comment about Rumsfeld on Hardball tonight as well. He also paid a compliment to another member of the administration, but I couldn't hear the whole thing (my husband kept blabbing which is a big mistake when I'm busy running the country from our living room).
16 posted on 12/12/2001 9:09:57 PM PST by Calpublican
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To: Silly
BRRRRWAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA hic-hic BRWAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAA
17 posted on 12/12/2001 9:10:24 PM PST by MJY1288
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To: Silly
So if you put a knitted blanket on a cold hound, would it be an Afghan wearing an afghan, or an Afghani wearing an afghani? And how many afghanis would you have to pay to buy an Afghan wearing an afghan?
18 posted on 12/12/2001 9:10:28 PM PST by HHFi
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To: Celtjew Libertarian
If he offered Clinton 72 virgins, he might also have had a chance.

Clintoon would have done it for two virgins.

19 posted on 12/12/2001 9:12:12 PM PST by The Real Deal
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To: Silly
the country's main unit of currency is the Afghani.

... and that just happens to be Cochran's (or any shyster lawyer's) *favorite* card!

(The 'currency card', that is ...)

20 posted on 12/12/2001 9:13:49 PM PST by _Jim
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Comment #21 Removed by Moderator

To: Silly
[LIVE, if that can be said of Dole]

LOL!!!!

I like the guy. Very witty.

22 posted on 12/12/2001 9:20:20 PM PST by ST.LOUIE1
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To: Silly
OMG .. get out .. did he really say that ... fofl
23 posted on 12/12/2001 9:20:48 PM PST by Mo1
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To: Silly
I just missed it!
24 posted on 12/12/2001 9:21:32 PM PST by Yehuda
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To: Silly
That's almost to close to being true to be funny. I hope Leno laughed and laughed big.
25 posted on 12/12/2001 9:37:59 PM PST by Darlin'
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To: Silly
Too phunny!!!
26 posted on 12/12/2001 9:40:22 PM PST by Neets
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To: Mo1
Hi, Mo, Yep.... Dole can be really funny. His quick wit was hidden from us all during his political years!
27 posted on 12/12/2001 9:43:33 PM PST by celtic gal
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To: ST.LOUIE1
Howdy Louie. Last Saturday a cousin of Bob Dole was FReeping with us in Modesto.
28 posted on 12/12/2001 9:48:17 PM PST by Diver Dave
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To: Celtjew Libertarian
If he offered Clinton 72 virgins, he might also have had a chance.

I don't think Obubba Been Laiden goes for the virgin types, preferring quick action and sure things instead.

29 posted on 12/12/2001 9:48:22 PM PST by Moonman62
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To: Diver Dave
Howdy Louie.
Last Saturday a cousin of Bob Dole was FReeping with us in Modesto.

Hey Diver! Good to see ya.

Freepin' with a "cousin"....cool!

Who else besides a celebrity was with you?

30 posted on 12/12/2001 10:01:07 PM PST by ST.LOUIE1
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To: Silly
A person from Afghanistan is an Afghan

Oh my goodness...there's two of them in the living room right now!!!

Oh, wait...those are just the blankets we call Afghans.....

31 posted on 12/12/2001 10:04:33 PM PST by Tennessee_Bob
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To: College Repub
I remember one time a reporter asked Dole something like " Who is boss in your family?"

Dole said "I'm not sure, you'll have to ask Elizabeth"

It's too bad his humor escaped from him when he was running for president.

32 posted on 12/12/2001 10:05:02 PM PST by rainingred
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To: _Jim
Maybe they'll find Gore's lockbox in Tora Bora.
33 posted on 12/12/2001 10:29:19 PM PST by weikel
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To: _Jim
Gore isn't available for television. He is growing his regulation length Bin Laden beard. Mullah Ali'Gore-ah, as he now wishes to be called, is focused on his new career as a pilot. "Want to fly like bird," he says after his stint as a professor at Columbia. "No need to learn take-off or landing, just soar like bird and look at buildings." As to Florida, Mulllah Gore-ah says, "No big buildings," dismissing the importance of the state to his future plans.
34 posted on 12/12/2001 10:33:36 PM PST by jrlc
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To: JoeEveryman
Dole is hilarious! Why couldn't he be this way during his campaign? Oh well, we can enjoy him now. He ought to be a commentator.
35 posted on 12/12/2001 11:14:53 PM PST by The Kitten
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To: Silly
BIG Texas BUMP!
just being. . .MnM
:o)

36 posted on 12/13/2001 1:27:31 AM PST by MeekOneGOP
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To: wisdomreach
I was leafing through a magazine in the doctor's office one day..and saw this: It showed Lincoln sitting on the side of his bed..with his head in his head nursing a hangover. He responds to someone standing by and says..."I freed the WHAT?"
37 posted on 12/13/2001 1:36:25 AM PST by JessicaDragonet
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To: weikel
So that's what the Marines are keeping Johnny Taliban in!!!
38 posted on 12/13/2001 2:18:02 AM PST by GatorGirl
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To: Celtjew Libertarian
Ridicule is a powerful political tool. The Conservatives/Republicans have yet to fully understand its sway over the populace, particularly the Socialists among us.

Heroes like Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld use it somewhat unconsciously, and are as a result feared and respected by the Liberals.

Remember what by nature a democRAT is: a narcissistic, image-oriented sheeple influenced by groupthink, Hollywood, awed by celebrities, etc.). As such, a Socialist will shake and tremble at the thought of public humiliation.

Powerful phrases like "It's the economy, STUPID" tap directly into this rich vein of political persuasion.

The Freepers participation in "Sore/Loserman" similarly impacted America beyond all expectations for similar reasons.

Do not squander any opportunity to ridicule a democRAT or skewer Socialist philosophy - you will make a difference.

39 posted on 12/13/2001 2:44:05 AM PST by Stallone
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To: College Repub
I wonder if Dole has jokewriters or comes up with things himself

Dole has always been able to create funny material. He does not need joke writers. But many Joke writers have stolen Dole's material.

40 posted on 12/13/2001 3:18:29 AM PST by Common Tator
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To: Calpublican
...which is a big mistake when I'm busy running the country from our living room

Permission to steal that line?

41 posted on 12/13/2001 3:29:34 AM PST by Oldeconomybuyer
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To: Stallone
Do not squander any opportunity to skewer a DemocRAT or ridicule socialist philosophy: One of my favorites was Ruummy's characterization of the author of an erroneous article as a "WORLD CLASS THUMBSUCKER".
42 posted on 12/13/2001 3:31:29 AM PST by BOBTHENAILER
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To: JoeEveryman
Also, said that he fully expects to see Gore show up in one of those caves...

Doncha know, Gore invented caves.

43 posted on 12/13/2001 4:34:53 AM PST by savedbygrace
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To: Silly
The sad thing is, once Hillary gets wind of this, she will write a pardon for him.

Can you say FALN?

44 posted on 12/13/2001 4:35:59 AM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: College Repub
The Viagra Poster Boy? Dole definitely has a sense of humor and doesn't take himself too seriously. He normally walked on egg shells around Clinton, who obviously intimidated him somehow.

If only Dole would come clean why he was such a wussy campaigner in '96.

45 posted on 12/13/2001 4:36:56 AM PST by Arthur Wildfire! March
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To: Clintons Are White Trash
Well, he is from Kansas. He may be a RINO, but at least he is not as bad as Chafed...lol. Since he is not in Congress, I can't complain about him much. It was great seeing him in Florida last year fighting for Bush.
46 posted on 12/13/2001 4:39:45 AM PST by rwfromkansas
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To: Silly
The difference between Bob Dole the candidate and Bob Dole the person is incredible. I often wish Dole the person had run in 1996. The guy is hilarious.
47 posted on 12/13/2001 4:44:02 AM PST by angkor
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To: angkor
Dittos on that remark. He may have won had he not been "handled" the way he was during the '96 campaign. You almost have to wonder whether "they" wanted him to lose. Dole has been a real fun guy to watch over the last five years. He could guest host for Leno (or Letterman) anytime!
48 posted on 12/13/2001 5:14:27 AM PST by calmseas
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To: savedbygrace
No, the '94 Republican Congress invented "caves."
49 posted on 12/13/2001 5:15:52 AM PST by calmseas
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To: rainingred
I think that Senator Dole was illadvised to stifle his sense of humor. I agree it was a very bad move. It gave the press an opportunity to lambast him as a humorless, rigid automiton, which he certainly is not.

I'm guessing you had the same experience as I...after he began displaying his genuine personality. People would comment on what a regular guy he was and that they didn't know "this" side of him. I've admired and respected him from the very beginning, but then I don't waste my time watching the major networks.

50 posted on 12/13/2001 5:23:00 AM PST by EODGUY
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