WEDGE: Luke, the communists are attacking our potties!
LUKE: INCREASE SPEED FULL THROTTLE!! Hold on, Wedge.
Posted on 04/23/2002 2:32:48 PM PDT by Angelwood
Once upon a time, the D.C. Chapter of Free Republic decided to hold a rally so patriotic men and women could take a stand for all that is good about America and to support our troops fighting for us in the war on terrorism.
The organizers decided that there must be porta-potties available for use by the event staff and all those courageous individuals who dared to gather together in the midst of the anti-war, anti-American masses bused in to cause disruption to our nation’s Capitol. And so, the story unfolds:
The stage was delivered at 5:30 a.m. to be greeted by faithful FReepers who didn’t get much sleep. At 7 a.m. the sound crew arrived to set up the magnificent speaker system that could reach out 8 blocks or more. Busy FReeper volunteers showed up early to set up tents, tables, chairs and organize supplies.
Jiffy Johns was on time and delivered six regular and one handicapped porta-potty, all in pristine condition. The FReepers busily placed placards on them for PATRIOTS -- 3 for Men and 3 for Women, with one specially equipped for the handicapped. There was even special attention given to provide a bucket for the opposition labeled, "Commie Commode and Bath." Were they grateful? Nooooooooooooooooo!
We sensed a problem with our porta-potty location almost immediately. While our group was steadily arriving, the ANSWER buses were beginning to pull up near 16th Street -- one block away from the Patriots Rally. Unfortunately, most people after a long trip in a car or bus need to visit restrooms pretty quick and a helpful police officer pointed out our porta-potties.
Needless to say, the rush was on and we realized we would have to fend them off or our porta-potties would be at capacity before our rally even began. We tried to move the porta-potties back from the street, but it was too difficult and we ended up moving enough to make a 90 degree angle L shape that was easier to defend. The doors were definitely on the wrong side -- facing the sidewalk and street.
We were polite, but adamant, that attendees of the other rallies could not use our facilities. We were told that they were patriots, too, and they had a right to use our porta-potties because they were on public land. When we pointed to the ones provided by ANSWER directly across the street and about 3 times as many as we rented, the others would sometimes get agitated and belligerent about our refusal to let them use the potties.
The excuses were many, varied and quite astonishing. One person said they had a medical condition, unpronounceable, of course, and we should let them in -- they also had assistants with video cameras filming their attempts to get past the porta-potty FReepers on duty.
We had some real concerns about safety, sanitation and damage control regarding people from the violence- and vandal-prone leftists, who had brought their reputations from demonstrations/protests in Seattle, San Francisco, New York and D.C., being allowed to use facilities for which we had paid and for which we were responsible. There had even been reports circulating that people were roaming about the anti-war rallies with pipe bombs in their backpacks.
Principles don’t mean much to those on the left. The hoards of bused-in attendees for the anti-war, pro-Palestinian rally didn’t care about the facts that we had a valid permit which they were trespassing on or that we had paid our own hard-earned dollars to provide porta-potties for our rally guests. They came expecting everything for free -- no, they actually demanded to use our porta-potties rather than walk across the street to the ones provided for them.
Sad to say, we allowed some of those with hard-luck stories, children and elderly to use the facilities and found that they abused the privilege by urinating on the seats, throwing garbage and bottles in to reduce capacity, tearing off toilet paper and sticking it everywhere, and rendering the only handicapped station we had useless and distasteful by urinating on the TP, seat and floor.
The porta-potty war continued throughout the afternoon. There were deliberate and concerted attacks by the leftists. Many of us took turns manning the front lines in the porta-potty duty. Some who had been turned away sent others to test our fortitude. A camera crew stopped to record the doings at the front. Great, huh, here we had a great line-up of speakers to inspire our patriotic spirit and the camera crew thought it was more important to film the dispute at the porta-potties. So I gave him an earful and all the reasons why we had the right to limit their use of our rental property paid for out of our own pockets.
When the leftists started to surge on our lines and rumors of an imminent rush began, the Park Police pulled in reinforcements along our perimeters and brought in the mounted police and their magnificent horses. Soon, things got better. The police deterred any thought of overrunning the Patriots Rally for America and they formed a barrier which protected the porta-potties.
The ANSWER leftists finally left to march through the streets of D.C., a light rain started to fall and soon we were ending our rally and beginning to clean up. Porta-potty duty slacked off as people began to gather their belongings and go home. The organizers had to wait for the rental companies and their crews to pick up their equipment. So, we set up chairs and finally sat down to rest and recap the day.
Stragglers or people returning from the various marches began to again appear and make a beeline for our porta-potties. Oh, I forgot to mention that those on the other side of the street disappeared somewhere around 2 p.m. never to be seen again.
I did have the satisfaction after the rally of seeing two Arab women leave the handicapped porta-potty looking down at their hands and rubbing them vigorously with a look of disgust on their faces. They must have used the urine-soaked toilet paper. (icky-poo - SMILE).
An Arab woman stopped to use our facilities and left her young sons outside. They ran through the middle of our group who were sitting in chairs and over to the tables that still had supplies stacked on them. They saw all the great flags and wanted to buy one (we can only surmise what for) and we emphatically told them the flags were not for sale. On their way back, Kristinn called out, “Don’t grow up to be suicide bombers.” One of the smart-aleck kids yelled back, “I think I will and I’ll come back and kill you.” Enough is enough. I followed them back and told their negligent mother what her children said. As I left, she was still asking them, “What did you say, what did you tell those people?”
The stage crew was back on-site breaking down the stage and equipment. The crew chief had some extra strong plastic ties that he offered to us to lock down the porta-potties. We accepted and locked them up only to have some of the stage crew unlock two again. We finally got them locked and turned door to door.
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Following are comments posted on the Patriots Rally Live Thread by many of those who withstood the attacks during the “Porta-Potty War.” I hope others will add their war stories to this thread.
The Patriots Rally was under constant assault from beginning to end with commies and leftists trying to infiltrate and stir up trouble. The toilet for the handicapped was ruined for use because some commie urinated all over the toilet-paper and the stall. Other toilets had bottles and other garbage thrown in them so as to cause them to reach capacity early so they could not be used.
Being that we paid for the rental of the seven toilets for the use by Patriots Rally attendees, we barred those from the other rallies from using them--with exceptions made for small children and the elderly. The pro-terrorist rally across the street at the Ellipse had plenty of porta-potties, but the commies kept crossing the street to try to "use" ours. While it may seem petty to control access to the toilets, it was a necessary security function. With great magnanimity on our part, we did provide a bucket for them to use labeled "Commie Commode and Bath". They declined our generous effort to accommodate their needs, however. (Posted by kristinn)
Around 1015 the crowd was continuing to grow, with some spill over from the Peacenik/anarchist nitwits. Dave reports that it was the port-o-potties that attracted them. But our fearless FReepers labelled the doors "Patriots" and Patriot Women". It seems to be turning them away. (Posted by Mustang)
The D.C. Chapter rented them for our use. The city did not provide them. The unwashed had at least triple the number on their side of Constitution Ave. The problems began well before the start of the rally. For goodness sake, the porta pottie guy had just unloaded the first two (with the rest still on the truck) and all these busses pulled up and unloaded the unwashed. They made a bee-line for the johns. As we had paid for them, and they had their own we simply told them to walk another 100 yards across the street. The word got out over there and they must have decided that the johns were our "center of gravity" and attacked from all sides;-) There was no way we were going let them trash the porta-potties we paid for and no way we were going to let our people stand in line behind the unwashed. Little did we know early in the morning that the johns would become a "frontline for freedom". Go figure...(Posted by Dave Dilegge)
The crowd continues to grow. Possible up to 500. The radical hecklers continue to mill around the fringes with signs of "brilliance" such as "HEMP" and rag-head wannabes waving Palestinian flags. Dave reports that the biggest attraction for the radicals is our port-o-potties. Dave also attempted to get near some of these nitwits, but reported "they really smelled" and had to back off. (Posted by Mustang)
The 'port-a-potties' war was pretty interesting. There were about five or six of us trying to restrict access to the 'port-a-potties' that had been paid for out of pocket by Patriot Rally organizers, and we had legitimate fears that they would be vandalized by the knuckle-dragging, unwashed communists across the street. It got nuts around noon, as it became evident that ones who had been turned away were sending ten times their number back across the street to harrass us. It was like trying to manage an out-of-control ant colony; they were swarming EVERYWHERE! Their next tactic was to bring along their pro-terrorist buddies in the college media; to take pictures of those "heartless conservatives" denying access to our port-a-potties. (I suggest they have Ramsey Clark and PFAW pony up some more cash for more of their OWN port-a-potties at their next rally.) As a result, I missed a number of the speeches I had driven six hours to hear. Oh, well...
One of the best bits was with a forty-ish unshaven blond who tried to push by me to get into a port-a-potty. She kept screaming that we were on "public property". That we were, but the potties were "private property"; and she wasn't getting access. She kept screaming that "she had to PEE", and that she had the RIGHT to use our port-a-potty, because it was "public property". I fanned my arm around; indicating that there was PLENTY of "public property" around for her to 'pee' on, and that, as a 'taxpayer', she was welcome to use it. I thought for a moment she was going to go for it, and I was cursing myself for leaving my camera with my wife. However, she turned away with a curse that so typifies the left, and she returned to her unwashed brethren. Hysterical.
No question about it. When these people got in my face during the 'port-a-potty' wars, you could SEE the hate in their eyes, and HEAR it in their voice. At one point, around one or so, the word got out to "get the women out of here, because a riot was about to break out". Several ladies started to gather their things, but then several black vans pulled up, and armor-clad SWAT teams poured into the street. Any threat of a 'riot' was QUICKLY neutralized by their presence. ("Yay, Washington Police!!!") (Posted by who knows what evil?)
Yup, my sign was the Icehouse beer slogan. I thought my other one was even wittier - "This sign killed a tree." It got a lot of laughs. One of the leftists trying to barge in on the portapotties mistakenly thought I was on his side, and started treating me like a buddy. When he asked "where you from man," I replied "America.". . . Oh, you should have seen the look of stupidity on his face. It was priceless. (Posted by YourAdHere)
LOL! Port-o-potties....it's the perfect symbol! Judging by reports of their smelliness and general uncleanness....their PoPs were probably really rank. Did you tell the anti-American protestors that capitalist ingenuity and $$$ provided the potties and that it's all part of the evil American plan...to bring plumbing and cleanliness to the barbarians...(^: (Posted by Ragtime Cowgirl)
They (them) were really messing up the potties. Evidently, they were pi--- urinating all over the seats. These were as big, clean, nice portapotties as you could get, but these guys messed them up. There was one in particular that was attacked early in the day. I was told not to use it as they had paper all over the place, and tried to clog it up. (maybe they didn't know hot to use it?? HeeHee!) (Posted by Exit148)
labelled the doors "Patriots" and Patriot Women". . . LOL! That sure would keep the little nazis out. (Posted by Bigg Red)
There is something so archetypical about leftist misfits massing together for a group tantrum and then wanting to use the conservative's private porta-potties. (Posted by Cultural Jihad)
HeeHee! The 'portapottie wars' continued long after the rally broke up, and Angelwood finally put locks on the doors. It really was funny to see them protected by the 'calvery police' during the height of the 'war'!! (Posted by Exit148)
WEDGE: Luke, the communists are attacking our potties!
LUKE: INCREASE SPEED FULL THROTTLE!! Hold on, Wedge.
Wow...these guys have such respect for private property, don't they? Everyone OWES them something, they has "a right" to everything. They have a right to GET BENT and go mess up their own damn facilities. Would've been funny if you had made them willing participants of capitalism by charging them 5 bucks to use the bathrooms.
How about $25, $20 of which is a damage deposit that gets refunded after an inspection of the facilities deems that they have not been vandalized in any way. Make the process as demeaning as possible - a form to fill out, perhaps a waiting period before their refund, comments for the compliant "My aren't you tidy!" and public shaming for the slobs. Imagine the look on someone face as they walk away out $25 to chants of "Look at that guy wearing fleece/He can't aim it when he pees!" or other such creative stuff.
Then you can truly say the toilets are for everyone!*
*subject to certain terms and conditions.
Great story Angelwood ... Hugs, 2T &;-)
Congratulations on a job well done.
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