Me too! I'm going to fight Israel, too! Oh, fight for Israel, whatever!
Posted on 08/04/2002 12:09:16 PM PDT by ken5050
The clown prince of Chappaqua was reported in yesterday's papers as telling a Toronto Jewish group earlier this week that "The Israelis know that if the Iraqi or the Iranian army came across the Jordan river, I would personally grab a rifle, get in a ditch, and fight and die."And of course, the media had a field day with this, reminding us of Bubba's efforts to avoid military service years ago, and indeed, of his infamous statement that he "loathed" the military. But shame on us....all of us, everyone...for have we so soon forgotten the need to examine every word, nay, every syllable that emits from Slick's mouth?
Perhaps, Bill, you were referring to the Jordan River in Salt Lake County, Utah. It drains into a large salt-water marsh. Yep, there's an excellent chance that the Iranians need another salt marsh, like they don't have enough of the stuff already. ( Hint: see Basra, Bill)
Or perhaps, Bill, you meant the glorious country of northern Michigan, up near Lake Charlevoix. It's truly beautiful country. And there's the off chance that the Iraqis might sneak across the Canadian border, swim across the Great Lakes, and try and work their way down to Detroit. You can rent a canoe on the Jordan river there for $10/day, Bill, though I would strongly advise against paddling and firing your weapon at the same time. And, there are some lovely inns nearby, while you're enjoying R&R away from the rigors and stresses of a combat deployment.
Or, Bill, you could comb through any world atlas, and find several more Jordan rivers..( or maybe your meant Joan Rivers?)..but as any person with an ounce of faith could tell you, we tend to refer to it as the River Jordan.....
BTW, Bill...only the Iraqis or the Iranians? Kind of limits your targets of oportunity, eh? I assume therefore, that if the Egyptians, or the Syrians, or the Jordanians..heck, even if the Palestinians started to paddle across the "Jordan river" in inner tubes, you wouldn't feel the need to bear arms. What about the Libyans, or the Yemenis, or the Saudis? They don't make the cut either, eh? Why not? You've got something against whacking Saudis, Bill?
And maybe it's time for a refresher course in geography, Bill. Let's assume for the moment that the dastardly Iraqis and Iranians do decide to attack Israel. One small problem. Heading across the "Jordan river" isn't the most likely path of attack. It's a tad out of the way. It's like, well, in the wrong direction. OK, I'll admit they've got plenty of petrol laying around for their tanks..but still, you really don't want to string out your armies an extra thousand miles. But if the Iraqis invade through Lebanon, or even if the Iranians take a few charter flights into Ben Gurion airport, well, Bill, that gets you off the ol' hook, right, cause technically they didn't come across the "Jordan river."
I could go on, and on, Bill, like Lanny davis did, but maybe by now you get my drift. And, oh year one last suggestion, Bill, when you "grab a rifle" don't forget to grab the ammo. See, Bill, a rifle without ammo, well...it's just liek what you said about oral sex..it ain't the real deal...as anyone whp's got an ounce of brains can tell you, a soldier can't get off shooting blanks.
Clearly a metaphor for the sort of thing he did in the Oral Office instead of fighting Al Queda.
Maybe the Iraqis are the only foreign bunch who haven't given Slick illegal campaign contributions. That would be his real beef with them.
Very good!
"Grab a Rifle?" I parse it as "Grab a B$#@h, Jump Her in a Ditch, Satisfy my Itch, then Ditch her, and let Hillary use the rifle on Her."
Me too! I'm going to fight Israel, too! Oh, fight for Israel, whatever!
Great rant.........thanks.......
He actually said that?
Depends upon what your definition of "says" says....he DID actually write it, with the intent of getting his yellow ass another draft deferment.
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