Need a Good Father's Rights Attorney (Vanity)

Self | Oct. 04, 2002 | Self

[redhead]

Does anyone know of a good Fathers' Rights attorney in California, specifically Orange County? Our youngest is in a bad situation with his ex, and she holds all the cards and ALL the money. He makes about $50k a year, she makes about $100k a month, but is able to hide all but about $20k anually. She has 60% custody of their little daughter. It's very sad to see my son in such a tangled situation. He has absolutely no way out. No matter what he does, he is screwed big time by her.

[Billy_bob_bob]

She's hiding HOW much income? Sounds like a candidate for the IRS tip line!

[Michael Barnes]

$100,000.00 a freaking month?!!!! If that wasn't a typo, I'll pray for your son. No disrespect, but he's outgunned and out classed on this one.

[redhead]

No fooling. She has a daycare/preschool, and has lots of kids. She is a greedy, conniving, person, and she knows all the tricks. She is very clever with money. Her taxable income is around $25k, last I heard. The decree says the partners are supposed to "exchange" taxes (show each other what they earn each year) but she never shows him her full return, just the taxable stuff.

[redhead]

"$100,000.00 a freaking month?!!!!"

Yes, that's a typo. It's $10k/month, or thereabouts. Sorry for the mistake.

[Delphinium]

I can't give you a name, but will pray for your son, and especially the granddaughter. I have faced this same situation and I know the pain. Children need the stability of both parents. After raising 2 sons without their father I know how important it is. Somewhere I have copies of studies that show children are better off raised by a single father than a single mother. Is there any chance of staying together?

[vetvetdoug]

If your son is a WASP, he's a screwed pooch. Every man I have known in a similar situation, including myself, ends up on the short end of the stick.

[redhead]

"Is there any chance of staying together?"

They are both remarried and have other children by new spouses.

[Michael Barnes]

Damn....even 10K a month income is a hard battle. I would suggest dropping a hint or two the IRS' way, not to mention the State's way as well. If she play's dirty cards, then you must as well...With that state (and I DO KNOW), simply being the male at this point is 90% against him. You need to tie up her resources somehow. Angle the playing field to your advantage where she has sooooo much going on both legally and personally (i.e stress) that coming out of left field with the whole Father's rights thing won't seem so traumatic. Simply deplete her of the will to fight harder than if she would if it were the only thing she was dealing with...Hope this is making some sort of sense.

[Illbay]

Contact the National Congress for Fathers and Children.

And good luck to your son. These days, a father who takes an active role in trying to secure custody of his child is successful more than half the time--a little known fact.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Is her side known to be an abusive family? Is he being hit up for mega moola in child support? (What I'm getting at is sometimes it doesn't make sense to ask the baby to be split, so to speak. It hurts for him, but what will benefit the daughter now? If he gives up, the daughter might be spared sharing in the venom which the mother feels she now has to feed her in order to defend her own ego.)

[Delphinium]

This appeared as an article in the Washington Times (12/19/95 - A19) and is distributed by the Texas Fathers Alliance 85% of prisoners, 78% of high school dropouts, 82% of teenage girls who become pregnant, the majority of drug and alcohol abusers - all come from single-mother-headed households. Less than 1% of any of these categories come from single-father-headed households. This seems to indicate that the problems children encounter are not related to single-parent households, but are related specifically to single-mother-headed households. So, should we blame the mothers or the fathers? Perhaps, neither. There is no question that father-absence has reached epidemic proportions. According to Wade Horn of the National Fatherhood Initiative, we must reverse the trend in 7 - 8 years or it will be too late to do so. And, how has our government responded to this crisis? By continuing to drive fathers out of the family. It is bad enough that some fathers abandon their families, but it is unconscionable that our federal and state policies drive fathers away from their families. With 80+ percent of divorces involving children resulting in sole-mother-custody, combined with a "no man in the house rule" and "presumptive sole-mother-custody" in welfare cases - we are not blameless from a policy perspective. We must change our policies, practices and procedures to specifically include fathers in families. If not, we can be certain that social spending will continue to increase and we will be plagued with an ever burgeoning population of maladjusted children who will fill our prisons and wreak havoc on society. Social research data reveal that our blind reliance only on the nurturing value of mothers is inadequate and misplaced. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, a child living with his/her divorced mother, compared to a child living with both parents, is "375% more likely to need professional treatment for emotional or behavioral problems and is almost twice as likely to repeat a grade of school, is more likely to suffer chronic asthma, frequent headaches, and/or bedwetting, develop a stammer or speech defect, suffer from anxiety or depression, and be diagnosed as hyperactive." However, these afflictions were surprisingly uncommon in the 15% of single-parent households headed by men. A study of all state child protective services agencies in the country - by the Children's Rights Coalition, a child advocacy and research organization in Austin, Texas - found that biological mothers physically abuse their children at twice the rate of biological fathers. The majority of the rest of the time, children are abused because of single-mothers' poor choices in the subsequent men in their lives. Incidences of abuse were almost non-existent in single-father-headed households. The data show that placing children only with mothers is likely to be detrimental to children and society, so why do we continue public policies favoring sole-mother-placement? Have we become so paternalistic toward women that it anesthetizes our common sense? Surprisingly few people realize that, until the end of WW I, U.S. laws and courts automatically placed the children of divorce not with their mothers, but with their fathers. For thousands of years societal conventions instructed the placement of children with their fathers in most cultures all over the globe. Why? Because it works. It puts children with their strongest protectors and it puts boys with their traditional guides to civilized manhood. Yet, these essential fatherhood roles - protector and civilizer - seem to have been forgotten, today. Never before have fathers been cast aside as they have been in the United States during the last 30 - 40 years. Never before has such a strong society become as threatened as we are, for this solitary reason. Regrettably, as long as we continue to hold to the relatively new idea that only mothers are capable of being parents, and ignore the essential role of fathers, our children will remain at risk. The single-mother-headed-household must go the way of the slum high-rise dwelling. Both are human disaster zones. Both are exalted attempts at social engineering that ignore God's blueprint for human society. What is needed? Our Father in heaven and our fathers here on earth - as well as a society that values them, includes them, and encourages their involvement in their families.

---

Stuart Miller and Rich Zubaty are Political Analysts with the American Fathers Coalition in Washington, D.C.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Bump for war stories (and ducking)

[Delphinium]

This a an issue so close to my heart. Even though I was the one who got custody of my 2 grown sons when they were very small. Just recently my sister quit speaking to me because I voiced my opinion. When my son, and his wife almost split up I contacted a man in Virginia to help him. I could give you his number. He probably has contacts in California.

[1stFreedom]

have no fear. What you need is a forenseic accountant. These accounts will dig into a company and uncover hidden income. It's expensive, but worth it. Without one, your son is screwed. Get yer son one asap.

[ItisaReligionofPeace]

A forensic accountant could probably do it...but do you really think she is going to let accountants snoop around her books?

[weikel]

Well if you want to fight dirty give her name to the IRS...

[RGSpincich]

She has a daycare/preschool, and has lots of kids.

To gross $10k a week she must have about 60+ kids. Is that about right?

Expenses for rent, utilities, employee wages and related expenses, supplies, food, INSURANCE, advertising, gas, van expenses for school delivery and pick up, etc. It gets expensive, I'm betting she doesn't make more than your son but more than she claims.

[Pikachu_Dad]

The Alliance for Non-Custodial Parents Rights is located in California. They have a members only location (only a small fee to join) to help select an attorney. See www.ancpr.org/

Somebody above already posted the NCFC. Jim Cook - Los Anglese California is a member of their board. He is the founder of the Joint Custody Association (the joint custody movement). He provided an excellent packet of materials for $40 to me about 7 years back. See www.jointcustody.org or call 310-475-5352.

There is also the American Coalition for Fathers and Children. See. www.acfc.org.

There are lots of other good groups. But these are the best. They should be able to direct him to a good attorney and to provide information on how to fight.

Your son can fight and win. Don't roll over.

Nicholas James Louisiana Dads, Secretary P.S. There are some very dangerous people writing and enforcing these laws. Last year the Louisiana legislature redid the Louisiana child support laws. Some of the Legislative task force felt that in certain circumstances it was appropriate for a father to pay 100% of his income (and they mean GROSS income) to the child.

Live free or die .

[RGSpincich]

No matter what he does, he is screwed big time by her

What is the problem? Is his child support too high? Is he not getting enough time with his daughter? You didn't say or I missed it.