High-Priced Emancipation [Book Review: Why There Are No Good Men Left]

The Wall Street Journal ^ | Friday, January 3, 2002 | MEGHAN COX GURDON

[TroutStalker]

Anyone who has ever struggled to find a house to buy should intuitively understand the difficulties faced by the legions of accomplished, educated, 30ish women currently roaming society in search of a husband. They are the stuff of mass entertainment now, these handsome, quick-witted graduates of higher education. On TV, they're the saucy females of "Sex and the City" and "Will & Grace." They surface in fiction as lovelorn Bridget Jones and the hapless heroines of Pam Houston's best-selling short stories.

[SauronOfMordor]

I can't think of a woman who could pass a pencil test at 28. Not too many 25 y/o's either.

My wife was passing the pencil test at 30 (and she isn't small there either). Of course, 16 years and three kids later that's no longer the case, but we've moved beyond that.

[SauronOfMordor]

The problem to me is that as the writer of the book seems to be pointing out indirectly, men gained a lot more from feminism than women did.

A while back, I did an article on the subject: "Was Patriarchy a Women's Scheme to Control Men?"

[Mulder]

Many older men (30-40) look for the younger types (22-30)

Speak for yourself.... some of us (20s-30s) like older women ;-)

[SauronOfMordor]

"What's the matter, boy? Afraid of strong women?"

What they don't realize is that, to many men, character and personality is more important than "strength". Strength is an asset to the extent that it's used FOR you, and a liability to the extent that a neurotic, self-centered person uses it AGAINST you.

[ValerieUSA]

I find that all too true... I date only younger men. They are the most persistant pursuers.

[null and void]

I think I will go hug my wife.

Good idea. You are truly blessed if you have one who will let you...

[null and void]

Well put

[null and void]

Third, who wants to be a 60-year-old dad with a teenage kid?

ME! I just need to live long enough...

[MrNatural]

Yes, our children - I have three grown sons; the oldest now divorced with a little girl, my grandaughter. The
other two have girlfiends...they seem nice enough, but who knows? I'm glad to not have to be young now.

[MadIvan]

I believe the reason why marriage has come under such strain is two fold - one marriage is much more expensive than it used to be, and second, mental illness is a lot more common.

I am a divorcee. In order to end that relationship, which lasted just over a year (I shan't get into the gory details, but I realised I made a mistake fairly quickly), I was wiped out financially. Fortunately, I was able to find employment, but even so, every last penny that I saved prior to the split went to her. She also got much of my furniture and electronics. I sold off a couple of computers I possessed as well.

Now, I am not going around saying that I won't get married again - I will. But the lady in question can and should understand that my love for her is so deep that I am willing to risk having my life knocked over completely in the name of that love. However I think given this scenario, many other, perhaps more sensible men would balk. With the sexual revolution they do not need to get married to have sex anyway.

The second element is mental illness being more common - I am sure we can all relate stories about people having almost Jekyll and Hyde personalities, having dated the Jekyll one and finding the Hyde after the ring was on the finger.

Regards, Ivan

[MadIvan]

I should hasten to add, I will, someday get married. That has not been specified yet. ;)

Regards, Ivan

[null and void]

Freep mail me first. I wish to invoke Asimov's Law...

[Mamzelle]

Don't you find them touchingly grateful?

[ValerieUSA]

*LOL* They are fun and they are not bitter and angry. They like to go out instead of spending every night at home watching TV.

[patton]

should I ping happygal?

[Tall_Texan]

Marriage today seems like playing Russian Roulette with three bullets in the chamber. I've told a girlfriend or two that if we ever got married that I'd rather they shoot me dead before divorcing me. It would be far less painless. Perhaps that's why they were so unwilling - no payout unless they planned ahead to see I was well-insured.

[Walkingfeather]

Actually I saw an interview with Sam a couple days before his death and I think he turned his life around.

[Walkingfeather]

GREAT ADVICE>

[Walkingfeather]

Just a quick question if I may....

If there was a girl you were in a serious relationship with and she and your Clone happen to be drownding in a pool at the same time and you could only save one..... who would it be?

[Squantos]

I quit readin when I saw her middle name was cox.....

Stay Safe !