It was probably made in house.
"Is this Ossama?""Yup... That's him."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course. That's his voice. We'd know it anywhere."
"But it sounds like Gilbert Gottfried."
"That's just a problem on the original tape. It happens all the time."
"Then why does he keep refering to 'Jafar'?"
"It must be an Al Qaeda code word."
"And the 'Genie' references?"
"More code words. We'll need to bomb the place to root out any terrorists."
On the new tape, bin Laden also claims credit for "Joe Millionaire".
What if it turns out bin Laden is not only alive, but we know exactly where he is? And that we are waiting until we have the upper hand in Iraq, and until we are confident that any Al Qaeda retaliation is over (or will not happen). Then, we swoop in, capture bin Laden, and parade him before the world, complete with mountaints of smoking-gun-style evidence of Iraq/Al Qaeda/Sept. 11 links.
Maybe a slightly less far-fetched notion is that we may know bin Laden's whereabouts, and we have been tracking his conversations for months now (which may explain the lack of attacks in the U.S. since 9/11, notwithstanding the 7/4 LAX shooting). What of that theory? Maybe it would be too hard to keep a secret.
Personally, I now think bin Laden is alive, but very ill and/or visibly wounded in a way that would demoralize the troops were he to appear in a video. Perhaps he lost an eye, or is severely burned. It seems to me that it would be too hard for the U.S. to squelch dissenting analysis of the authenticity of the audio tape (though I am aware that the previous one was adjudged a fraud by some independent expert group).
1. It's genuine. Osama bin Laden has come out of hiding and recorded a tape to stir the troops in the fight against The Great Satan and, in particular, in support of Iraq.
I doubt it, but it could be...
2. It's a product of Iraqi intelligence. Trying to stir up the Arab world against The Great Satan, frighten the appeasers and, hopefully, get al-Qaeda and its minions moving in support of Iraq.
Could be...but the previous bin Laden audio tape pointedly specified there were no connections between Iraq and al-Qaeda. Officially, the US government said its experts believed the tape "authentic", but didn't make an issue of it. A Swiss firm specializing in such matters dubbed the tape a fake, without qualifications. Likely source of this tape, given the subject matter: Iraqi intelligence. This new tape, though, is telling another story about cooperation between al-Qaeda and Iraq -- one which isn't favorable to Iraq's case.
3. It's a product of the CIA. Osama climbs out of the electronic grave and volunteers to prove our point -- al-Qaeda and Saddam are buddy-buddy partners in terrorism. At the same time, the fact that we knew about the tape before it arrived at its intended destination strongly suggests that US intelligence has penetrated the inner circle of al-Qaeda and stands next to Osama himself. Might that give Achmed pause before he puts on his bomb vest to visit the local airport?
Personally, I would rate each one-in-three. But would lean toward the latter -- meaning a propaganda coup for the Bush administration.
THANK YOU OSAMA!!!!! You blumming idiot!