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The Hardest Place for Us to Take Our Special Needs Child? Our Church
life news ^ | Jesi Smith

Posted on 08/25/2014 7:02:07 PM PDT by Morgana

I am new to this journey. My daughter Faith is only 5 years old. She is mentally and physically disabled, still small enough to carry, quiet . . . mostly, and has not developed the larger, louder, and strange movements and sounds that many older people who are mentally and physically disabled seem to develop as they try to express themselves – yet.

We have taken our daughter to concerts, plays, movie theatres, political speeches, pro-life fundraisers and community events, and spend a lot of time in hallways and lobbies when she does get loud. However, we’ve found that the hardest place to take a child with special needs is to church. We have found the cardinal sin of the Sunday service is not sexual immorality, lying, theft, or heresy – no, it is having distracting movements or loud sounds during worship or the message.

jesismithHe is probably in his early 40’s and he is mentally disabled. Every week his mom brings him faithfully to church. There is a section in the back of the sanctuary where many families sit with their children of all ages with special needs. It is definitely a group that makes a joyful noise during worship and after the offering is taken, they all leave to go to a special class during the sermon. But this week was different. Her son was playing the tambourine that he brought every Sunday to worship God — one of the only ways he expresses praise to God, when a member of the church staff came up to him and asked that he not to use it in service anymore. It was disturbing to other people and it was distracting the band on stage. The mother was crushed, embarrassed, and offended. This is not supposed to be a concert, but worship from all the people, right? She had worked hard all these years to take him — a grown man, which is no small task — out of the sanctuary when loud, and for years, has taught the special needs Sunday school class. She often is unable to join in the worship or listen to the sermon herself, so that her son and others like him can be taught the word of God. Now the one place that both her and her son could join with the church in the praise and worship was not available to her either! Why work so hard to come if even during a loud praise and worship service with everyone singing , keyboards, drums, and guitars he was not able to join in? Was his worship so offending among hundreds of others who may be clapping offbeat or singing off-key that he was asked to stop? So now, put the church on the list of all the places that your special needs child cannot go and participate.

Do not get me wrong: I know children can be a distraction and need to be taken out of the service when loud, whether a crying baby, fidgeting toddler, or even my special needs daughter, but is there never to be a church that gives the mentally and physically disabled enough time or grace to stay in and adjust to a service? Is there no place for the disabled in corporate worship? Must they always be sent out to the lobby alone or to a room to sit alone? Many may not realize they and their parents have probably sacrificed more than most other church members just to show up to church. They probably have spent hours with parents or caregivers getting ready and getting in and out of their vehicle with wheelchairs, walkers, and medical equipment. They have likely spent most of their week in the hospital or battling illness at home, and this may be one of the few Sundays they could even come to church this year. However, they will not spend this Sunday with the body of Christ being ministered to, but out in the hallway in shame.

If the church truly wants to serve the “least of these” – whom Jesus urged the Church to make a priority, are they not the disabled? Now ask yourselves this: How many people with disabilities come to your church? Where are all the people with handicaps anyway? Sure, they seemingly have little to offer the church — no money, no volunteering, no inviting their friends, they may be unlovely to look upon, make weird noises, have improper behaviors, spit more than normal, throw up routinely, and do not even offer “acceptable” praise and worship. Many of them are unwanted even by their own parents. (Over 90% of babies with a disability like our daughters – Trisome 18 / Edwards Syndrome – are aborted.) They are a group who cannot speak for themselves, cannot go where they want to go, or even eat or go to the bathroom without help , and accordingly, they ought to be honored as the most patient among us! The disabled who have been brought to the church are among the blessed few. First, they are blessed to be alive, cared for, and well enough to attend; and second, they are blessed to have a parent or caregiver who love them enough to battle the process of getting them to the church. And so, I implore you — please do not send them out into the lobby or to an empty room to sit alone after all they have struggled with and endured just to make it into your doors!

My final thought for you to ponder is an unfortunate update on the mentally disabled man with the tambourine – he refuses to play it anymore.

LifeNews Note: Jesi Smith and her husband Brad are pro-life speakers with Save The 1, from Rochester Hills, Michigan. They’ve just recently received a personal 1-minute video endorsement from Rick Santorum.


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Moral Issues
KEYWORDS: abortion; church; michigan; prolife; trisomy18
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To: Alex Murphy

I honestly don’t believe many low functioning people require the standard “forgiveness.” They are as innocent as babies as far as I can tell, more so in some cases...they aren’t restricted by infant bodies.

Just my thought. It won’t hurt my theology either way.


61 posted on 08/25/2014 8:46:55 PM PDT by papertyger (Those who don't fight evil hate those who do)
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To: txrefugee
Worship is not primarily for our enjoyment. It’s not what we “get out of the service,” but what we put into it.

Now to be fair, that's a pretty Catholic attitude. We go to mass to give worship, and hopefully receive grace. The separated brethren often go to get their "battery" recharged, not "enjoyment,"and I for one am not going to hold that against them.

So while I find no issue with a special needs person interrupting my ability to follow the service, I can see where an Evangelical could feel "slighted."

62 posted on 08/25/2014 8:56:09 PM PDT by papertyger (Those who don't fight evil hate those who do)
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To: Morgana
It ticked me off the time they made me leave my musical instrument outside the church.

.


63 posted on 08/25/2014 9:04:56 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Conservatism is the political disposition of grown-ups.)
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To: Alex Murphy

“I highly recommend Corrie Ten Boom’s short book on that very subject, Common Sense Not Needed.”

I found an open-source copy on Archive.org:

Common Sense Not Needed by Corrie Ten Boom

https://archive.org/details/CommonSenseNotNeeded

The ebook link is in the sidebar.


64 posted on 08/25/2014 9:16:54 PM PDT by PastorBooks
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To: Morgana

There are churches that have disability ministries. At one church I am aware of, parents of disabled children do not have to be members of the church for the children to attend. Disabled individuals are in productive classes that teach them according to their abilities.

Contact College Church in Wheaton, Wheaton, Illinois for information on their disability ministry. they may be able to point you to a church with a disability ministry in your area.

College Church in Wheaton is a non-denominational church.


65 posted on 08/25/2014 9:33:02 PM PDT by saltshaker
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To: Morgana

My church is presently setting up special ministry for families with special needs children.

http://www.legacychurchnm.com/refuge


66 posted on 08/25/2014 9:40:15 PM PDT by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: Morgana

I’m not sure about other churches but Catholic Churches usually have cry rooms where the Mass can be viewed without the crying babies and toddlers and others disturbing it.

Once at Mass the priest said: “It’s kinda loud in here today with all the little ones. But I thank God their voices can be heard. A lot of the voices of the unborn and the handicapped are prematurely silenced.”


67 posted on 08/25/2014 9:55:03 PM PDT by MDLION ("Trust in the Lord with all your heart" -Proverbs 3:5)
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To: trapped_in_LA
Sadly happened to me with my autistic son as well. Interesting that all the posters defending this type of anti-Christian behavior all focus on their “rights” rather than the lost or any compassion for those that have to care for these individuals. But that is what apostasy looks like and why I refer to them as Churchians not Christians.

Matthew 25:31-45 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’ And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

68 posted on 08/26/2014 12:11:44 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: txrefugee
Worship is not primarily for our enjoyment. It’s not what we “get out of the service,” but what we put into it. I believe God was especially pleased with this man’s joyful tambourine playing. Could the praise band match his sincerity?

Based on what I see in showmanship, NO!

There's too much attention drawn to those on stage performing.

I view my times of praise and worship as something between me and God, something personal and intimate, not something to put on display and *lead* other people as if they're idiots who cannot figure out for themselves how to worship.

It comes across too much as *Look at me. I'm so spiritual.*

And when the *worship leader* decides to use the opportunity to start preaching a little 5 minute sermon at us, that really pushes me over the edge.

69 posted on 08/26/2014 12:26:13 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: papertyger
The separated brethren often go to get their "battery" recharged, not "enjoyment,"and I for one am not going to hold that against them.

If that's what they're going for, they have some serious issues with their spiritual lives.

No Christian should be that dependent on Sunday morning services.

If they're walking with Christ as they should, church should not be necessary at all. (Yeah, and I know someone is going to jump on that, but they ought to think about it before doing so)

70 posted on 08/26/2014 12:29:08 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom
If that's what they're going for, they have some serious issues with their spiritual lives.

In my experience, everyone has serious issues with their spiritual life.

71 posted on 08/26/2014 12:34:56 AM PDT by papertyger (Those who don't fight evil hate those who do)
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To: papertyger

Yes and no.

If someone is reading the Word, meditating on it, and praying on a regular basis, they are getting spiritually fed on a regular basis and don’t *need* church.

People don’t eat one huge meal a week and expect it to sustain them or consider it an adequate diet. They don’t talk to their spouse or child once a week and consider it a healthy relationship.

A person’s relationship with God should not be so dependent on church and when it throws someone so for a loop because they missed church, yeah, I still contend that they have some serious issues with their spiritual lives.


72 posted on 08/26/2014 1:00:04 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom

Then why does the Bible command it?


73 posted on 08/26/2014 1:03:37 AM PDT by papertyger (Those who don't fight evil hate those who do)
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To: papertyger
The Bible says not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. There is no time frame mentioned.

Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

It does not command coming together for church once a week.

It doesn't say it has to be church.

And the admonition is not to do it as the habit of some is. IOW, don't do it all the time.

I attend church because I want to, not because I have to, and I don't attend church because I need it, cause I don't NEED it.

The mainstay of my spiritual walk is my (mostly) daily Bible reading and prayer.

Church is nice, I usually learn something, I enjoy getting together with other believers, but it is not my spiritual battery recharge time. I'm not depending on it for that because it's not enough to get me through the week.

74 posted on 08/26/2014 1:24:06 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: metmom

How do you know?


75 posted on 08/26/2014 1:37:42 AM PDT by papertyger (Those who don't fight evil hate those who do)
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To: papertyger

Living as a Christian is not just indiviual, it is also community of other believers, a balance.


76 posted on 08/26/2014 3:04:48 AM PDT by Biggirl (“Go, do not be afraid, and serve”-Pope Francis)
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To: Morgana

A gentleman living a few ridges over from me wrote a poem of sorts for which he was famous called “Trouble in Amen Corner” by Archie Campbell. The situation involved an elder in the church and his singing. http://www.bing.com/search?q=Archie+Campbell+%2BTrouble+in+Amen+Corner&src=IE-SearchBox&FORM=IE8SRC


77 posted on 08/26/2014 3:32:03 AM PDT by cva66snipe ((Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgment? Which one say ye?))
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To: Morgana
A lot of the noise makers in public places are healthy kids who's parents don't mind if their kid screams or rather yells at the top of their lungs every word they speak like Dora the explorer. {I loathe that cartoon} You go into a store and they talk at the top of their being and lung capacity while parent is oblivious to the world around them. Parents never taught them any Inside Voice Rules.

In bigger churches a children's service seems more the logic answer. I remember my mom used to work in the nursery for example. I would have been considered a special needs kids by todays standards. I have a disorder that mimics ADD ADHD but isn't. Yet if I didn't sit still in church I caught it from Mom LOL :>}

Today? Due to intolerance to churches acoustics I can't attend. I would be having spasms the entire time of the sermon so I simply don't attend.

78 posted on 08/26/2014 3:50:37 AM PDT by cva66snipe ((Two Choices left for U.S. One Nation Under GOD or One Nation Under Judgment? Which one say ye?))
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To: Abby4116

“They are the Main Line Protestants. The other 58% are the evangelicals.”

No. There were Evangelicals who voted for Obama: http://www.pewforum.org/2012/11/07/how-the-faithful-voted-2012-preliminary-exit-poll-analysis/


79 posted on 08/26/2014 5:17:39 AM PDT by vladimir998
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To: papertyger

There were Evangelicals who voted for Obama: http://www.pewforum.org/2012/11/07/how-the-faithful-voted-2012-preliminary-exit-poll-analysis/


80 posted on 08/26/2014 5:17:58 AM PDT by vladimir998
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