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NEWS FLASH - GOD ANNOUNCES THE 11TH COMMANDMENT! During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton has brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. They began their brain-storming and came up with the 11th. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be: "Thou shalt not comfort thy...

You Don't Know Us By LEONARD PITTS JR. Miami Herald They pay me to tease shades of meaning from social and cultural issues, to provide words that help make sense of that which troubles the American soul. But in this moment of airless shock when hot tears sting disbelieving eyes, the only thing I can find to say, the only words that seem to fit,must be addressed to the unknown author of this suffering. You monster. You beast. You unspeakable bastard. What lesson did you hope to teach us by your coward's attack on our World Trade Center, our Pentagon, ...

WORLD EXCLUSIVE DEVELOPING... CAUGHT ON TAPE: PRIVATE VIDEOS MAY HOLD PARDON INSIGHTS

Al Gore Concession Speech, 1st Draft Good evening, my fellow Americans: Tonight we come to the end of a long road and the start of a new one. Having exhausted all avenues of appeal in the U.S. and Florida, my legal team has filed a claim in the International Court of Justice seeking to overturn the Florida election crumple crumple crumple Al Gore Concession Speech, 2nd Draft Good evening, my fellow Americans: Tonight, in the spirit of national unity and despite being the undisputed winner of the popular vote crumple crumple crumple Al Gore Concession Speech, 3rd Draft Good evening, ...

Political Poetry In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great 2000 Election Controversy is so big that all-star poets have come out of retirement to quickly set the story to rhyme.... For starters, history buff Henry Wadsworth Longfellow: Listen, my children, don't dare ignore, The midnight actions of Bush and Gore In early November, the year ought-ought, Hard to believe the mess they wrought. Two billion bucks of campaign bounty All came down to Palm Beach County. What result could have been horrider Than the situation we found in Florider? Edgar ...

Tonight on "The O'Reilly Factor", Bill O'Reilly discussed the Gail Sheehy "Bush has dyslexia" Vanity Fair article at the top of the show. It was introduced in the context of "this campaign is getting NASTY!" He derided the article as nothing but a personal attack, then suggested that readers put it where it belongs -- in the garbage!!

CINCINNATI, Ohio (Reuters) - Republican George W. Bush (news - web sites) leads the presidential race by a wide margin in Kentucky and Indiana, but the race with Vice President Al Gore (news - web sites) is a virtual dead heat in the key swing state of Ohio, polls done for an ABC-affiliated television channel showed on Saturday. The polls for WCPO-TV by Survey/USA of 500 likely voters in each state had Bush leading Democrat Gore by 52 percent to 38 percent in Indiana, 51 percent to 42 percent in Kentucky, and 48 percent to 44 percent in Ohio. The ...

Tonight on the Beltway Boys, Fred and Mort predicted that the GOP will hold on to both houses of Congress -- they will lose only a couple of seats in the house, and there will be no change in the Senate. The best part was that they said they thought Rick Lazio would beat Hillary! in NY !!!

Here we go, FReepers -- if you're not all burned out from watching the Dems this week!

I know this is a vanity but I want to plug tonight's Hardball, which should replay in a couple of hours! Topic: Dick Cheney. Peggy Noonan, Mike Barnicle, Julia Reed, J.C. Watts, Frank Keating all good, DiFi and Carolyn Maloney really sounded like total idiots!! Chris was good, called Gore "Dr. Death"! Don't miss!!

Clinton holds a news conference at 1:30 p.m.

EXCLUSIVE: 'NO CONTRACT' FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL "Quite frankly, the decision was not based on economics, it was based on politics," says one ABC insider... MORE...

Vice President Al Gore passed over his controversial campaign manager Donna Brazile on Thursday and reached outside of the ranks to replace his ailing campaign chairman...

BOSTON, June 15 (UPI) -- A Boston woman is suing a school principal who allegedly urged other students to bite her 4-year-old son. Laura Watkins alleges in her suit that principal Esther Adames-Jiminez brought three preschoolers into her office in November 1998 and ordered them to bite Watkins's son, James, in retaliation for his biting them earlier. The Boston Globe reported Thursday that at least one of the other preschoolers bit the boy while he was being restrained by the principal at the East Boston Early Education Center. Watkins also named the Boston School Department in her suit because ...

Rush starting the show talking -- in fact, sort of yelling -- about Los Alamos...

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - Republican presidential candidate George W. Bush (news - web sites) will propose modernizing the federal government on Friday, saving $88 billion over five years and nudging the ''outdated'' U.S. system into the 21st century. The Texas governor, who favors returning power to the states, will call for ``limited, but active'' government that is more responsive, more accountable and more innovative. Bush's plan, according to campaign documents, includes not replacing 40,000 senior and middle managers retiring over the next eight years, eliminating new layers of management created by the Clinton administration, accelerating e-government by appointing a government-wide chief ...

**Exclusive** "This guy John Connolly kept using the term 'fags' and 'faggots' when he asked me about lawyers who worked for Ken Starr and others in Washington." That is the shocking charge by former congressional investigator Dave Bossie against author John Connolly -- an author who is writing a book financed by DISNEY! [NYSE:DIS] "Connolly then spread around town that I was gay because I volunteer for a local Fire Department," laughs Bossie. "This is crazy. I am surprised that Tina Brown is financing this." The DRUDGE REPORT obtained a working manuscript of a book commissioned by DISNEY's TALK/MIRAMAX. In ...

WORLD EXCLUSIVE:MIRAMAX/TALK BOOK PROJECT EXPLORES SEX LIVES OF TINA BROWN'S 'FRIENDS'

Tom Wolfe May 21, 2000 (preliminary transcript) [Note: When Boston University presented Tom Wolfe with an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters degree, Chancellor John Silber and President Jon Westling also presented him with a red-trimmed, white academic gown, to go along with his customary white suit. Mr. Wolfe was suitably surprised.] I’m telling you this is a total surprise. I knew something had irresistibly drawn me to this moment, and there you have it. This is absolutely...well, actually ? I’m not making this up ? I cannot think of a University, there is no University to which I would rather ...

Dr. Laura is discussing the case of the man in rural England who was convicted of murder after shooting some thugs who broke into his home. The guy sounded a bit paranoid, but possibly that's because he had been broken into before. Dr. Laura said that the sentence was completely wrong. She wants to know, "Just what was he supposed to do?" In England you are supposed to only defend yourself with the same sort of force used against you. Dr. Laura said that that is ridiculous. "If three guys come at me, what am I supposed to do? They ...