Keyword: douggiles

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  • If Being Christian Means Being Pro-Open Borders, I Guess I'm Going To Hell

    02/21/2016 5:49:45 AM PST · by Kaslin · 77 replies ^ | February 21, 2016 | Doug Giles
    According to the Pope, Trump and others aren't Christians, no matter what they profess, if they're not cool with our borders' having bigger holes than Rosie O'Donnell's pantyhose after she tried to high step a four-strand barbed wire fence. Yes, apostates, you must, according to his Highness, green-light porous borders and sanctuary cities, and blow off the rule of law, if you wish to be tight with his supposed best buddy, The Lord Jesus Christ. Oh, and I almost forgot, you should also eschew capitalism if you desire to be in the good graces of God, according to the Catholic's...

    01/21/2016 4:43:02 PM PST · by Impala64ssa · 20 replies
    Clash Daily ^ | 1/21/16 | Doug Giles
    Hey Jada, I saw your video about boycotting The Oscars because The Academy nominated zero blacks in the best actor category this year (The second year in a row by the way). All I have to say is...'That’s not right and it’s right up there with some of the greatest atrocities known to mankind.' Any way ... I'm sorry that you and Spike Lee are upset. I haven't seen Concussion yet, but I hear Will did a fantastic job. I hope you guys get over your deep grief. I’ll be praying for you. As I watched your angry video, I...
  • JEBS NOT A FAN: Of This Beverly Hillbillies Parody Song About Him

    10/27/2015 2:05:05 PM PDT · by Impala64ssa · 16 replies
    Clash Daily ^ | 10/25/15 | Doug Giles
    As we watch Jebs campaign implode I thought Id pen a little tune that summarizes my thoughts on his unraveling campaign. My songs to be sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies theme song. Enjoy and share it with Donald Trump. Come and listen to a story about a man named Jeb A big gov-a-neer, whos politically kept his family fed, Then one day Rove started rootin for this dude, And up via Florida come-a RINO crude. Jeb that is, stablishment gold, Amnesty tea. Well the first thing you know ol Jebs wedged-up-our rear, Spinfolk said, Jeb, well gitcha...
  • Dear Europe & America: Those 'Poor Refugees' Sure Look And Act Like Radical Muslims To Me

    10/18/2015 4:51:52 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 36 replies ^ | October 18, 2015 | Doug Giles
    A couple of weeks ago I got a flurry of appeal letters from ministries asking me to financially help them help the “refugees” fleeing the crap-hole called Syria. The ministries hit me with the normative guilt-trip noise about “what would Jesus do?”; that “any good Christian worth their salt would definitely help the suffering refugees”; and that if the reader/me didn’t help these “refugees” then they/I suck as a Christian. That’s not exactly what the letter said, but that was the gist of it. Now, I know my tightly wound evangelical bros out there don’t think that I’m “saved” because...
  • If America Goes Down the Toilet: I'm Blaming Lame Pastors

    08/16/2015 4:33:10 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 68 replies ^ | August 16, 2015 | Doug Giles
    Our country is in a crap sling of gastronomical proportions. I was going to say astronomical but this thing is more gassy than it is interplanetary. You wanna know how messed up we’ve become? Well, for one, Kim Kardashian has 43 million followers on Instagram just waiting for her to post a pic of her ample ass-ets. Secondly, social media dipsticks think Cecil The Lion’s plight was/is more important than Planned Parenthood's dealing aborted baby body parts. Thirdly, there are actually people in this country, who call themselves Americans, who’re contemplating making Hillary Clinton president. Look, as far as I’m...
  • If Christians Are Going to Complain About The Movie Noah, Then Create Something Better

    03/30/2014 7:51:53 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 112 replies ^ | March 30, 2014 | Doug Giles
    The movie Noah has ironically spawned a flood of hullabaloo, eh? Personally, heretofore, I havent seen the flick, but I plan on watching it this Sunday. Yes, I said it. Im going to check it out even though Ive been warned by the brethren not to because it isnt "biblical". I guess Ill have to wear a disguise so my more persnickety readers wont recognize me. I think Ill go as Carrot Top. Thatll toss them off my scent trail. Now, when the anti-biblical criticisms began to fly against this pic in its ramp-up for release, I was like, You...
  • Dear Texans: Here's 46 Republicans Who Voted Against Freedom Of The Press

    05/31/2015 5:56:58 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 62 replies ^ | May 31, 2015 | Doug Giles
    Last Wednesday, the Texas Legislature pushed through, and I mean pushed, controversial legislation which repeals portions of the First Amendment, effectively ending citizen journalism in the Capitol. How quaint, eh? Yep, when Texas legislators found out about the undercover video footage about to be released by Hannah Giles (of ACORN fame) and Joseph Basel with the American Phoenix Foundation, they flipped out and quickly jammed through legislation, SB19, which would criminalize this First Amendment practice from 1985 forward. Why they picked 1985 only lawless liberals and repugnant Republicans can know. I would have thought for an apropos Orwellian effect they’d...

    05/17/2015 9:34:48 AM PDT · by Kevin in California · 21 replies
    Clash Daily ^ | 05-17-2015 | Doug Giles
    Summer is usually a relaxing time for family vacations, a little rest and relaxation, a time to recharge ones batteries, hang out with the kiddos and to get in some light summer beach reading. Ahhh summer. Pass me an ice cold Corona, por favor. This summer, however, could be the beginning of the end for several Texas politicos whove been doing creepy crap when they were supposed to have been representing the Texans who trusted them and put their haggard backsides into office.
  • SCANDAL BREWING: This Summer's Gonna Suck For The Texas Legislature

    05/17/2015 6:01:50 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 49 replies | May 17, 2015 | Doug Giles
    Summer is usually a relaxing time for family vacations, a little rest and relaxation, a time to recharge one's batteries, hang out with the kiddos and to get in some light summer beach reading. Ahhh summer. Pass me an ice cold Corona, por favor. This summer, however, could be the beginning of the end for several Texas politicos whove been doing creepy crap when they were supposed to have been representing the Texans who trusted them and put their haggard backsides into office. For those of you who dont follow closely Texas politics, a forthcoming scandal is brewing based...
  • ANGRY CHRISTIAN HATING LESBIAN: Coach Suspended After Threatening to Burn Down Christian Pizzeria

    04/01/2015 9:22:02 PM PDT · by Impala64ssa · 56 replies
    Clash Daily ^ | 4/1/15
    This teacher and coach has been suspended after threatening to burn down the Christian pizzeria in Indiana that said they wouldnt cater a gay wedding. The head coach of an Indiana high school girls golf team has been suspended after apparently threatening to burn down a Christian-owned pizzeria. Jess Dooley, a coach at Concord High School of Elkhart, Indiana allegedly struck out at the owner of Memories Pizza in Walkerton, IN who made news on Tuesday by saying that she would not cater a wedding if a gay couple tried to hire her for the job, after the state passed...
  • If Your Pastor Has A $60k A Year Clothing Allowance, You Probably Should Leave That Church

    10/11/2014 9:11:03 PM PDT · by servo1969 · 52 replies ^ | 10-12-2014 | Doug Giles
    Last Thursday evening I had my pastor over to Casa de Giles to enjoy one of my fine cigars with the family and me. During the course of catching up, I found out that several new families from a local South Florida mega-church had left that zoo and had joined our church. The reason why they said they absconded had me gobsmacked and Im a hard critter to shock. Having been in the ministry for twenty-five years, Ive pretty much heard it all and have seen it all, but I wasnt ready for this curve ball. This time it...
  • JESUS LOVES METALLICA THIS I KNOW: The Bible Backs Up Hetfields Hunting, Boo-Hoo PETA

    06/09/2014 9:28:09 PM PDT · by Impala64ssa · 3 replies
    Clash Daily ^ | 6/9/14 | Doug Giles
    The anti-hunting dolts have gone into full doofus mode attacking James Hetfield of Metallica for hunting and narrating a bear hunting doc for The History Channel. I believe started the party by being happy that Hetfield does both and posting about it on our site. Check it out here, as the post went viral. Today, Id like to point out that the Bible actually backs up Hetfields hunting. Yes, God actually ordains hunting and eating meat and theres not one verse in the scriptures that condemns such activities as I write in my brand spanking new book, Rise, Kill...
  • Andrew Breitbart: "Your Peril Will Be My Peril"

    03/02/2014 7:42:25 AM PST · by servo1969 · 18 replies ^ | 3-2-2014 | Doug Giles
    Its now been two years since Andrew Breitbart died. Unlike many of Breitbarts friends and admirers who initiated a relationship with him, I was forced to relate with him. And I dont like being forced to do anything. I initially met Andrew Breitbart over the phone when I called him on September 8, 2009. That was the day before my daughter Hannahs scandalous ACORN videos were released on the publics head. Andrew was on the road, and I was in Vail about to speak at a mens conference and wanted to know, from a man I didnt know, if he...
  • Duck Dynasty: I Wish Gays Would Stop Being So Gay About Speech That Offends

    12/22/2013 9:55:05 AM PST · by Kaslin · 50 replies ^ | December 22, 2013 | Doug Giles
    Let me see if I have this right. According to the Thought Police, Duck Dynastys patriarch Phil Robertson is a bigot because he said what the majority of the planet believes namely, that men prefer a womans yoo-hoo instead of a mans Chattahoochee canal? I know thats not exactly what he said during the GQ interview where he dared to tell everyone what he or she and A&E already clearly knew he thought. I merely cleaned that sentence up for the children. And by children, I mean the rabid gay adults who freak out when they read the words vagina...
  • HEY, NANCY BOYS: The Early Church Rebelled Against Oppressive Governments

    10/06/2013 5:56:07 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 34 replies ^ | October 6, 2013 | Doug Giles
    The Christians of the first century were rebels with a cause. They werent the hair-spray-addicted, religious sponges of pop culture and oppressive governments looking to be ogled by an Oprah-addled crowd or breastfed by some big government tit . Oh, no, senorita. The primitive church was out to change the world. After Jerusalem fell in AD 70, the church, birthed by the Holy Spirit during Romes heyday, exploded with growth in Asia Minor which happened to be Ground Zero for Caesar worship. The punch-drunk citizens of Roman rule thought the various Caesars, their laws, and their government were...
  • An Open Letter to White, Black, Brown and Yellow Thugs

    07/28/2013 6:03:06 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 19 replies ^ | July 28, 2013 | Doug Giles
    When I was a punk teen and twenty-something, I did drugs, dealt drugs, debased women, burglarized homes and was kicked out of both high school and college for my behavior. When I was sixteen-years-old, I was arrested on Mothers Day for stealing water skis and was placed on probation. I was not an innocent teen, full of potential. I was full of something all right, but it wasnt potential. I was a piece of teenage, criminal crap. I chose to break the law. I chose alcohol and drug use and abuse. I chose to be an idiot and to emulate...
  • Its Time Christians Told Those Who Seek to Silence Them, Yeah, Right

    07/07/2013 4:07:09 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 27 replies ^ | July 7, 2013 | Kevin Glass
    Two weeks ago a Sonoma State University student was ordered by one of the Seawolves lunatic supervisors to remove her cross necklace because some tender moron, who goes to that liberal madrasa, might get their panties in a wad. Yep, the overseer thought the cross accoutrement was vulgar. This is the same school that, with their easily offended students, put on The Vagina Monologues last March 9th, 2013. Let me see if I have this right: a pretty gold cross necklace on a blonde co-ed is nasty and a yarbling, six-foot feminist yapping about rape, mutilation, masturbation and orgasms is...
  • Happy Fathers Day, Patriot: I Hope Youre Raising Your Kids to be Righteously Rebellious

    06/16/2013 3:16:36 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 2 replies ^ | June 16, 2013 | Doug Giles
    Hey, Dad. If youre going to send your kid to a public school or a state run university, then youve got to teach your child not to just sit there in class, like a nice boy, and take whatever propaganda the progressives shove down their pie hole. The Conservative/traditionalist is the rebel of our day. The Man and The Machine on campus to rage against is not stodgy traditionalism, but rank socialism and its moral and political vacuity. Meet the new boss its not the same as the old boss. For Dads who want their kids to make a...
  • I Went to Bed a Christian and Woke Up a Terrorist?

    04/14/2013 5:11:38 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 28 replies ^ | April 14, 2013 | Doug Giles
    According to the Department of Defense and the Department of Homeland Security, evangelical Christians are now a national security threat. Im talkin at the top of the list folks. As Gomer Pyle used to say, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise eh, Christians? Under the New Rules enacted by these agencies under this administrations tutelage the following acts are now to cause red flags of terrorism to fly, alerting cops and military personnel to a new group[s] which could start blowing crap up like the other group that we can no longer speak the truth about. So, herewith, I guess, are some of...
  • Hey Gun Haters: Pro-Gun Girl Solicits Parents for Pics of Their Kids with Guns

    03/24/2013 12:33:06 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 17 replies ^ | March 24, 2013 | Doug Giles
    Currently, there are four things that are really ticking me off. They are #1). Broccoli. What a foul devil-weed that over rated sprig is, eh? #2). Drivers who text while driving. I passed this metrosexual the other day in Miami on US1 who was swerving all over the road in his Prius like a gypsy on a three-day tequila bender. When I got up beside him, his nose was down, buried in his cell phone, drafting a text message at forty-five miles per hour. He was probably confirming an appointment to get his eyebrows threaded at JLos new salon...
  • Women Serving in Combat Positions Is a Batty Idea

    01/26/2013 9:56:19 PM PST · by ReformationFan · 43 replies
    Townhall ^ | 1-27-13 | Doug Giles
    Last Thursday Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta and other U.S. military leaders lifted the ban on women serving in combat positions. I, for one, think this is a great idea and have a few modest proposals, if the brass inside the beltway is open to suggestions, on how they should deploy the dames (and whom they should deploy). First off, if you truly want to eviscerate the enemynamely Muslimsthen I propose sending the most nerve grating and foul women Hollywood has to offer straight into hot zones as our forward armies. Im a thinkin starting off with Roseanne Barr, Joy...
  • New Rule: All Teachers Should Be Required to Carry Guns

    12/16/2012 5:17:02 AM PST · by Kaslin · 66 replies ^ | December 16, 2012 | Doug Giles
    My heart is sick. I feel so sorry for the children who were murdered, as well as the parents and loved ones of the slain kids and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. All of us here in the U.S.who still have a soulpray for those whose lives were just senselessly shattered. But imagine if at least one teacher (with a concealed weapons permit) had their .40-caliber Glock with them, locked and loaded, when this weed Adam Lanza began his murderous mayhem Friday on the Sandy Hook Elementary School campus. What would have happened differently? Would...
  • The Real Root of Atheists' Anti-Christmas Rage

    12/02/2012 3:18:49 AM PST · by Kaslin · 67 replies ^ | December 2, 2012 | Doug Giles
    Why do some atheists embarrass themselves year after year trying to eradicate Christmas from American culture? Why do they make themselves societal hemorrhoids during this hallowed season? Is it because they are crusaders for equality, secularisms saviors and humanisms heroes? Im sure thats what they tell themselves when theyre pouting on their couches all alone on Christmas Eve after every single one of their friends has dumped them for being a rabid jackass. I believe, howeverand I could be wrongthat the reason some rage against the machine is that they hate God and love their sin, and bringing up Jesus...
  • Dear Mitt: Please Dont Morph into a Wuss During the Debates. Regards, Doug Giles

    09/30/2012 4:03:50 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 44 replies ^ | September 30, 2012 | Doug Giles
    I’ve got to admit … I’m a wee bit concerned about the upcoming presidential debates. My fear is that Mitt, for whatever reason, will take the McCain fetal position before Obama and not come out swinging for the fence. Mitt ought to do this Wednesday what Babe Ruth did in ‘32 and point to Chicago like the Bambino pointed to centerfield bleachers and then verbally hammer Obama out of the park and back to Illinois. In addition to Mitt being the aggressor versus a genteel back-pedaler, I’d like to see some former Navy SEALs in the crowd stand up and...
  • Middle East Mayhem: Congrats Obama,You Built That

    09/15/2012 9:55:38 PM PDT · by Innovative · 23 replies
    Townhall ^ | Sept. 16, 2012 | Doug Giles
    Remember back in the beginning of 2011 when Obama told us about the freedom lovers in Egypt and Libya living under the oppression of dictators and needing our immediate help to establish democracy in their fair lands? .... Yep, these "yearners for democracy" turned out to be radicals of radicals who'd like nothing more than to eradicate the U.S. and Israel and establish a global bounce house for all things Muslim. Whoopsie, eh Mr. President? You kind of misjudged that one, senor. At least I hope Obama misjudged their end game because if he had even an inkling that they...
  • Rowdy Cluckers: The Chick-fil-A Rebellion

    08/05/2012 5:40:40 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 47 replies ^ | August 5, 2012 | Doug Giles
    Well, the anti-Chick-fil-A thing sort of backfired, now didnt it? Yep, the rabid gay crowd thought they were going to shut CFA down, but instead their fascist demands that Chick-fil-As Presidente Dan Cathy repent of his free speech actually catapulted the fast food chain into record profits. Cha-ching! I have one word for that homo faux pas of trying to stifle a private companys free speech, its: Ahahaha. Boy, you guys really read the pulse of the American people Not. Now, I will give the onerous gay activists this: Aside from the huge boom in ammo sales since Obama...
  • Hey, Man-Hating, Nerve-Grating Feminists: Good Fathers Are Irreplaceable

    06/17/2012 4:34:17 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 17 replies ^ | June 17, 2012 | Doug Giles
    I have two twentysomething daughters whore currently taking over the planet. When these female charges popped out of their mommys womb, this thing called responsibility for their upbringing hit me like a Jackie Chan punch. I didnt slough off my role in their lives onto my wife, my church, public school, day care, relatives, TV, or the village. I didnt expect any of the aforementioned to fill my boots chiefly because they cant. Living in Miami, I knew I would have to pony up and become a major player in my little ones lives if I wanted them to...
  • Gay Marriage Will Make Mothers Day Quite Perplexing

    05/13/2012 6:36:31 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 22 replies ^ | May 13, 2012 | Doug Giles
    I think I speak for most heterosexual males when I say Im not homophobic but chick-o-centric. Lets keep it positive, okay? Its not that we dislike gays its just that we really like girls. It seems no matter how long we spend in PC rehab compliantly undergoing the most stringent psychotherapy to rid ourselves of our knee-jerk to your mate choice, the simple fact is that heterosexual guys dont get gays. Heck, we dont understand women. What makes you think well ever understand a man who doesnt like women yet acts like Richard Simmons? You just rifled right over...
  • Katie Pavlich, Fast & Furious BS, and Generation Scary

    04/22/2012 5:40:08 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 30 replies ^ | April 22, 2012 | Doug Giles
    If youre looking for light summer beach reading then do not, I repeat do not buy Katie Pavlichs disturbing new book, Fast & Furious: Barack Obama's Bloodiest Scandal and the Shameless Cover-Up. Further, if you want to live undisturbed in Obama la-la-land, you need to put your tennis shoes on and run away from this tome. Indeed, Pollyanna, this book will smash all the windows of your enchanted little cottage and grind your rose-colored Obama glasses into powder. Fast & Furious parlays into the public arena the scurrilous way the ATF, at the behest of the DOJ, allowed...
  • How I Came to Admire Andrew Breitbart

    03/04/2012 3:42:35 AM PST · by Kaslin · 25 replies ^ | March 4, 2012 | Doug Giles
    Unlike many of Breitbarts friends and admirers who initiated a relationship with him, I was forced to relate with him. And I dont like being forced to do anything. I initially met Andrew Breitbart over the phone when I called him on September 8, 2009. That was the day before my daughter Hannahs scandalous ACORN videos were released on the publics head. Andrew was on the road, and I was in Vail about to speak at a mens conference and wanted to know, from a man I didnt know, if he was going to make certain my girl would be...
  • Eric Holder Gets Furious Fast

    12/04/2011 6:28:14 PM PST · by Kaslin · 19 replies ^ | December 4, 2011 | Doug Giles
    You know what makes me angry? Guys who use more than three words when ordering Starbucks coffee, lizards that steal quail eggs and speed walkers. That’s what makes me mad. You know what gets Eric Holder heated? Probing questions from young reporters. Yep, apparently young charges from conservative news sites aren’t supposed to ask Attorney General Eric Holder any itchy questions.   Hope and change. This past Tuesday the Daily Caller got duly damned by the big dog of the DOJ for asking him what he thinks about the 52 members of Congress, three presidential candidates and two sitting Governors...
  • Angry Gays: F-Bombs, Glitterbombs, Phlegm Phones & Death Wishes

    07/24/2011 5:51:35 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 16 replies ^ | July 24, 2011 | Dough Giles
    (Reader warning: rough language ahead!) What would happen if Sean Hannity, Dennis Miller, Dr. Keith Ablow, or a conservative barbeque salesman, for that matter, expressed on national television the desire to F--- the sh-t out of some powerful, prominent and accomplished liberal woman against her will? Or, in other words, rape said seorita? Do you think that would make the evening news? Do you think he would get fired from his job? Do you think that all conservatives far and wide would have to profusely apologize and go through sensitivity training for the next eight millennia? The answer to those...
  • Why Christians Should Rejoice That UBL Is Dead and in Hell

    05/08/2011 4:37:46 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 55 replies ^ | May 8, 2011 | Doug Giles
    Let me go on the record stating that as a Christian I am completely cool with our Navy SEAL Team Six killing Usama. Or is it Osama? Does anyone know? I heard he liked it both ways. Anyway, the only thing that makes me sad about bin Laden’s death, as an orthodox Christian, is that a). It didn’t happen on Christmas or Easter, and b). The rude SEAL Team Six didn’t include me along to pull the trigger. Apparently, the SEALs require those who go on their missions to be physically and psychologically fit to the nth degree and stuff—y’know,...
  • Meet the Giles Family: Hannah, Regis and Doug

    03/16/2011 1:54:30 PM PDT · by mikalasukala · 3 replies
    c5's Simian Roadhouse ^ | March 13, 2011 | Consigliere5
    Father Doug Giles:Here's his radio show: Clash Radio.Doug has written a whole mess of books for you to purchase.Website for his newest book, RAISING RIGHTEOUS & ROWDY GIRLS.Doug is the Senior Pastor here.Doug's column for Town Hall.Articles by Doug for Human Events.Doug's art!Hot Men 2010: The Hottest Conservative MenThe Other McCain got a shot of Doug and wife at CPAC blurbs for Doug and his two daughters.Here are Doug's youtube videos that he has made. There are lots!And here are a whole bunch of Youtube videos featuring interviews with Doug or tv appearances:CPAC 2011: Eric Nehring of the Minnesota...
  • Where are they now? See what some of your favorite political friends are up to this month.

    10/25/2010 3:03:46 PM PDT · by mikalasukala
    c5's Simian Roadhouse ^ | October 24, 2010 | Consigliere5
    WHERE ARE THEY NOW? [taken from October 2010 articles/blog posts]NASA's Islam Outreach Minister Charles BoldenGOP lawmakers are critical of Charles Bolden for leaving last week on a trip to China just as the agency he leads begins pursuing an ambitious new agenda. It is the latest in a series of controversial moves that some speculate could result in Bolden's ouster. A law signed a week ago gives NASA four months or less to develop a dozen different plans for the future, including a detailed report on how it would replace the retiring space shuttle.It's an ambitious schedule, one that NASA...
  • No, It Wasnt My Idea for Hannah Giles to Dress Like a Hooker and Infiltrate ACORN

    09/19/2009 9:35:16 PM PDT · by smoothsailing · 71 replies · 4,181+ views
    Townhall ^ | 9-19-09 | Doug Giles
    <p>Its been quite interesting watching and reading the statements coming from ACORN and various news organizations about the facts of the Giles/OKeefe ACORN caper. Heres a little sample of what they have been saying about the two evil citizen journalists, Hannah Giles and James OKeefe, the ones who picked on poor, poor, poor, old ACORN.</p>
  • Doug Giles: The Ten Commandments for My Daughters Potential Boyfriends

    07/01/2007 10:12:22 AM PDT · by wagglebee · 117 replies · 4,076+ views
    Townhall ^ | 7/1/07 | Doug Giles
    God, in His providence, has seen fit to bestow upon my wife and me two beautiful girls that we must steward into greatness. It has been a blast watching my daughters develop into righteous and rowdy, gorgeous girls. The thing that sucks with their metamorphosis into womanhood is the guys whove begun to buzz around our happy nest interested in my ladies. As much as I dont like the idea of their dating, I have got to suck it up and accept it (bartender, Ill have a shot of whiskey). All you dads who are worth your salt and give...
  • Glenn Beck Has Brass Gonads

    08/29/2009 8:27:32 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 195 replies · 8,465+ views
    Townhall ^ | August 29, 2009 | Doug Giles
    Dont you know Obama and his ilk wish to God (or whoever the heck they wish to) that Glenn Beck would fall into adultery with an Argentinean newswoman, or cut his jugular vein while shaving, or show up drunk, high and naked to his FOX show and forever be publically vilified, marginalized and thus muzzled? Beck has formally joined Rush as an Official Pain in Barack Obamas Backside (OPIBOB). (Are you an OPIBOB yet?) Yep, not only has Obamas administration called Rush out, but the White House has now phoned Beck during his TV show in an attempt to get...
  • WWJT: Who Would Jesus Torture?

    05/31/2009 1:06:37 PM PDT · by ReformationFan · 26 replies · 984+ views ^ | 5/30/09 | Doug Giles
    A Christian radio show host asked me the other day how I could, as a believer, be cool with waterboarding terrorists for intel crucial to our national securityor, as I like to call it, the implementation of the Irrigation for Information Act. Irrigation sounds so much more pleasant than torture, oui? Oui. I told my inquiring host that as a patriotic white male Christian redneck, as far as I can deduce from the holy text, Jesus and the balance of Scripture seem to be okay with dunking Achmed if said butt munch has the 411 regarding the 10/20 of the...
  • God Has His Ways of Getting a Nations Attention

    05/10/2009 2:54:32 PM PDT · by ReformationFan · 7 replies · 679+ views ^ | 5-10-09 | Doug Giles
    <p>When Old Testament Israel strayed from following God, Yahweh had unique and painful ways of getting the Hebrews attention. His first line of attack was to send in His prophetswho were not the shiny, happy-clappy, clich-spewing, aphorism-addicted mega church pastors who are more interested in hawking their books than bearding the priests of Baal.</p>
  • Miss California Is Braver Than Some Pastors

    04/27/2009 7:05:14 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 29 replies · 1,629+ views
    Townhall ^ | April 26, 2009 | Doug Giles
    I never thought that I would mention Perez Hilton in one of my columns, much less publically thank him for being an obnoxious, culturally-toxic chunky gay man, but thank you Perezor whatever the heck your name is. Why do I thank him? Well, I thank him because his inappropriate, gay agenda-laden beauty queen litmus test regarding homosexuals getting hitched-up afforded Miss California the opportunity to stand up for the biblical definition of marriage in a puerile, politically correct, crap-addled culture, thats why. I tip my hat to Miss Carrie Prejean. She didnt fold like a cheap lawn chair to the...
  • DHS: The Department of Homegrown Stupidity

    04/19/2009 4:44:06 PM PDT · by ReformationFan · 15 replies · 738+ views ^ | 4/19/2009 | Doug Giles
    For someone in Obamas cabinet to warn the nation about decent God and country loving people as being extreme is like Rosie criticizing chunky and obnoxious middle-aged white lesbian comics for being unfunny. Behold, the Audacity of Irony. Or hypocrisy. Both work for me. You choose. Uh, hello, Ms. Napolitano, you work for the Czar of the Extreme, Barack Hussein Obama. By the way, whats up with all this Czar crap? Whats next, leopard skin fezzes? Eye patches? Geez, we have more czars in Baracks Bizarroland administration than Russia had during the entire Romanov Dynasty. Were not Russians yet, so...
  • Americas Not a Christian Nationand Im a Fat Black Lesbian Who Hates Hunting

    04/12/2009 6:30:35 PM PDT · by ReformationFan · 24 replies · 1,161+ views ^ | 4/12/2009 | Doug Giles
    Last week Obama told the planet on his Dixie Chick America Sucks Euro-Tour that ol bigheaded America is not and has never been a Christian nation. I believe he said that right after he bowed and curtsied to the Saudi King and told the French that the US has been stuck-up meanies to their jealous and ungrateful Euro-socialist cousins. Damn you, Yankee doodle dandies. Americas not a Christian nation? Well, its not a Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim (yet) or Tai Chi nation. I know Barack is auguring for the USA to become an Obamanation, but heretofore from what Ive read regarding...
  • Weve Got to Fight for the Right of Our Party

    04/04/2009 8:05:15 PM PDT · by ReformationFan · 3 replies · 507+ views ^ | 4/4/2009 | Doug Giles
    What a massive hemorrhoid on Londons glutes the G20 protesting goobers were, eh? As I watched them riot this past week I kept thinking, What are you getting so POed about? Youve got a G20 Anti-Capitalism, Anti-War, Kum Ba Yah, Green Dream Team headed up by B-HO himself. Dial down, you idiots. Chill. The tree humpers are in charge. Youre winning. Go hump a tree. Smoke some weed. Take a bath. Buy a new bong. Eat some Ramen. Put Imagine on your iPod, loop it and listen to it over and over as you kiss your lover. Just celebrate and...
  • Doug Giles Cure for The Obama Hangover

    02/08/2009 9:05:06 AM PST · by dbz77 · 8 replies · 643+ views
    TownHall ^ | February 8, 2009 | Doug Giles
    The Obama Hangover is the pain a moderate Obama backer is now feeling after having been promised the moon and realizing they have instead . . . been mooned. Its got to be humiliating watching your Mr. Hope & Change fumble these first few weeks like a leprous teen would his girlfriends bra. You must be feelin like my buddy who recently got married to his eHarmony soul mate who turned out to have no soul nor the desire to mate. Its a similar vibe this dude we call Awood felt who was sold the bill of goods that LSD...
  • Doug Giles: Why Some Atheists No Likey Christmas

    12/21/2008 1:12:16 AM PST · by 2ndDivisionVet · 194 replies · 2,940+ views
    Townhall ^ | December 20, 2008 | Doug Giles
    Why do some atheists embarrass themselves year after year trying to eradicate Christmas from American culture? Why do they make themselves societal hemorrhoids during this hallowed season? Is it because they are crusaders for equality, secularisms saviors and humanisms heroes? Im sure thats what they tell themselves when theyre pouting on their couches all alone on Christmas Eve after every single one of their friends has dumped them for being rabid idiots. I believe, however, and I could be wrong, that the reason some rage against the machine is that they hate God and love their sin, and bringing up...
  • Give Your Daughter the Gift of Martial Arts

    12/14/2008 9:30:10 AM PST · by dbz77 · 51 replies · 976+ views
    TownHall ^ | December 13, 2008 | Doug Giles
    Could your daughter handle herself if she were attacked by some thug? Would she be able to leave a Silence of the Lambs boy incapacitated or, if necessary, kill him during an attack? Should some perp cross the line by threatening my daughters lives, I would have no problem personally double tapping the center mass of the moron with my S&W Airlite. In my family, I am alpha dog: provider, protector, hunter, and hero. I do, sadly, realize that I am not omnipresent and that my daughters are going to have to rely upon themselves as the first line of...
  • Fathers: Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Britney

    07/20/2008 11:32:15 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 54 replies · 243+ views ^ | July 20, 2008 | Doug Giles
    Father, have you been to the mall lately and watched an unsupervised group of teenage girls get hit on by the ubiquitous male oxygen thieves? Pretty disturbing, eh? Whats even more mind numbing is the number of beautiful young ladies who actually give these scat based boys the time of day. Unreal. Ticks you off now, doesnt it? If you have a pre-teen nia, then more than likely after watching those mall chicks capitulate to the weird male critters advances, you probably just swore to God that your daughter will never grow up to be one of those girls who...
  • Where Reverend Wright is Really Right

    05/03/2008 7:05:23 PM PDT · by Free ThinkerNY · 11 replies · 96+ views ^ | May 3, 2008 | Doug Giles
    By Doug Giles Saturday, May 3, 2008 No, Reverend Jeremiah Wright hasnt hoodwinked me with his fiery flapdoodle from this past weeks press briefing. Yes, I still think the guy is certifiable. Listening to Wright last Monday at the National Press Club was like listening to Charles Manson during one of his parole hearings; the guys frickin insane! Hes whacked. His worldview is a bit, lets say . . . skewed. I put what Wright said on Monday right up there with Paula Abduls blather on Tuesdays Idol for the What the Hell? TV clip of the week. Having said...
  • Doug Giles: Dont Send Your Kids to Publik Skule (If You Love Them)

    04/13/2008 11:24:45 AM PDT · by wagglebee · 127 replies · 156+ views
    Townhall ^ | 4/13/08 | Doug Giles
    Did you catch the video this week of a student kicking the stuffing out of an art teacher in Baltimore, Maryland while the rest of the class cheered the pounding on? Yknow, if that teacher was moi, and some F-bomb dropping Darwinian throwback came over my desk to accost me, Id grab my handy dandy scissors and plant em in the feral teens skullcap, Jason Voorhees style. From there I would proceed to snag the American flag from the corner of the room (if there was one) in order to stave off the rest of the flesh eating zombies til...