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Keyword: wasteoftime

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  • Feds Threaten Indiana over Defunding of Planned Parenthood

    06/05/2011 1:09:08 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 15 replies
    The Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) is threatening to withhold federal Medicaid funding to the State after its legislature enacted a law barring Planned Parenthood from receiving state money because some of it would be used to fund abortions. Medicaid Administrator Donald Berwick said, “Indiana’s attempt to block funding for a recognized provider of family planning services conflicts with Administration policy. What is and isn’t covered is determined by the federal government. No state has the authority to deviate from the guidelines mandated by federal policy.” Under federal Medicaid rules, states may bar service providers engaged in criminal...
  • GOVERNMENT EDGES CLOSER TO TOTAL CONTROL OF INTERNET WITH ANTI-PIRACY CENSORSHIP BILL

    05/28/2011 10:38:15 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 15 replies
    With Senate passage of the Preventing Real Online Threats to Economic Creativity and Theft of Intellectual Property Act (PROTECT IP), the US government has moved a step closer to total control over the Internet. Under the Act, the government will be authorized to seize domains, block websites and censor search engines. Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont) emphasized that “the bill is merely an extension of existing authority. It is not new censorship.” The extension was deemed necessary because “rogue websites can escape government control by locating outside the United States. This new law will counter this by allowing the government to...
  • Wrangling over the War Powers Act

    05/22/2011 11:39:08 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 12 replies
    Republican demands that President Obama comply with the War Powers Act will be ignored, says Senator Carl Levin (D-Mich), Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee. “President Obama is already in violation of the War Powers Act,” Senator Rand Paul (R-Ken) argued. “The civil war in Libya did not meet the Act’s criteria for allowing the President to take military action. It was not a national emergency nor did the President seek and obtain Congressional authorization as former President Bush did before deploying troops to Afghanistan and Iraq.” “Even if it were determined that the Libyan situation did constitute a...
  • Treasury Secretary Says Default May Be Preferred Option If Debt Ceiling Not Raised

    05/14/2011 1:47:42 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 22 replies
    U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner assailed Republican “attempts to hold spending hostage to the debt ceiling issue.” “They’re saying that default isn’t automatic, that we can cut other spending to prevent default,” Geithner said. “We could, but this would force us to prioritize the revenues we have available in ways that we don’t want to. The President’s initiatives on high-speed rail and the ‘green economy,’ for example, may seem expendable to his enemies in Congress. However, the decision on whether to forego paying for such crucial programs or to stop making payments on old debt is at our discretion. We...
  • Attorney General Defends Arming Mexican Drug Cartels

    05/07/2011 5:53:39 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 43 replies
    US Attorney General Eric Holder denied critics’ contention that his Department’s Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (BATFE) scheme of selling military ordinance to Mexican drug cartels was “a stupid idea.” Under the Department’s so-called “Gunwalker” program, surplus military weapons like M-16 and M-4 assault rifles, grenades, and AK-47s captured from foreigners were sold to the cartels by BATFE agents. “These types of criminals are going to get weapons by hook or by crook,” Holder declared. “If they buy them from us two key objectives are attained. First, the Department earns revenue that can be used for other law...
  • Administration Defends Executive Order Implementing Failed Legislation

    05/01/2011 1:47:38 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 30 April 2011 | John Semmens
    The White House defended using the President’s authority to issue an Executive Order implementing the so called DISCLOSE Act. The Order would require companies doing business with the federal government to report on any political contributions to independent groups. Congress rejected the DISCLOSE Act last year. Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney asserted that “it’s essential that the President know who his enemies are so he can ensure that they are not rewarded with government contracts. He cannot allow his hands to be tied by Congress. Congress harbors many who oppose the President’s agenda and who wish him ill. To let...
  • Birth Certificate “the Last Document” the President Will Be Sharing with the Public

    04/30/2011 1:32:36 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 27 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 30 April 2011 | John Semmens
    Senior White House adviser Valerie Jarrett said that President Obama’s recently unveiled birth certificate “is the last document he will be sharing with the public. It’s bad enough that the ruler of the free world has been mercilessly harassed and humiliated into revealing the most private details of his birth. Demands that he open up other records relating to his academic career will not be honored.” Claiming victory from his efforts to induce President Obama to disclose his birth certificate, real estate tycoon and potential GOP presidential candidate, Donald Trump has turned his attention to Obama’s college records. “I’ve heard...
  • Former Speaker Torn over Importance of Elections

    04/17/2011 5:12:50 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 16 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 16 April 2011 | John Semmens
    Former Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) admitted to mixed feelings over the role elections will play in the future of America. “I know that as a Democrat I’m expected to support democracy,” Pelosi said. “But is democracy an end in itself or merely a means to an end? I mean, it was important that we elected President Obama to rule this country. Now that he is President, though, what further gains could there be from the electoral process? Might not future elections even serve to undermine the changes he’s already implemented?” Pelosi proclaimed herself extremely distressed...
  • Obama Says Failure to Raise Debt Ceiling Will Wreck Global Economy

    04/16/2011 2:18:13 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 16 April 2011 | John Semmens
    President Obama issued a dire prediction of global economic catastrophe should Congress fail to raise the federal government’s debt ceiling. “This is no time for fooling around or playing politics on this critical issue,” Obama declared. “USGovernment spending is the driving force of global prosperity. Without it businesses and individuals would be forced to make their own decisions on what to produce, how to produce it, and where to sell it. We need government to ensure that resources are used wisely and distributed equitably to avert the chaos of unfettered capitalism.” A few examples of capitalistic chaos were cited by...
  • Councilman Argues for Hiring More Ex-Cons

    04/16/2011 8:40:05 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 16 April 2011 | John Semmens
    Pittsburgh City Councilman Ricky Burgess introduced legislation that would make it easier for persons with a criminal record to be hired by the city. “Most of those with a criminal record are Democrats,” Burgess observed. “Should we really be penalizing our own constituency by excluding them from working for the city?” read more... http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/04/16/obama-says-failure-to-raise-debt-ceiling-will-wreck-global-economy/
  • President Urges Consumers to “Get used to Higher Gas Prices”

    04/10/2011 12:51:29 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 31 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 9 April 2011 | John Semmens
    Calling higher prices “a key incentive for conserving,” President Obama told an audience of 500 employees at the Gamesa Technology Corp., a wind turbine manufacturing plant in Pennsylvania, that “we need to get used to higher gas prices for the sake of our environment.” “There is no gain without at least a little pain,” the President argued. “Paying a few dollars more at the pump will encourage people to cut back on unnecessary trips and use public transit when they have to travel. If we’re going to save the planet we all have to make sacrifices.” As an example of...
  • Government Shutdown Won’t Affect Congressional Pay

    04/09/2011 12:40:59 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies · 1+ views
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 April 2011 | John Semmens
    While various segments of the federal government face defunding in the event of a government shutdown, Congressional pay won’t be affected. In an effort to deflect political repercussions, several members of Congress (including House Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio) have sworn to forgo their paychecks for the duration of any shutdown, Representative Linda Sánchez (D-Calif) won’t be one of them. “I can’t afford to go one day without my salary,” Sánchez declared. “Like most Americans, I live paycheck-to-paycheck. I have a two-year-old son. I have expenses. I need this money. Voters who elected me gave me a right to this money....
  • Wisconsin Election Turnaround ‘Unprecedented’ Says Union

    04/09/2011 11:56:57 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 54 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 9 April 2011 | John Semmens
    Wisconsin union officials are calling the post-election correction of an error that converted a 200-vote deficit into a 7,000-vote lead for the conservative candidate, incumbent Justice David Prosser, for the state Supreme Court judgeship “unprecedented.” “In every other instance in which previously uncounted or miscounted votes have been brought to light it has been to the benefit of the progressive candidate,” claimed Christine Lamitina, spokeswoman for the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) of Wisconsin. “Is this election in Wisconsin going to be the exception that contradicts a well-established history?” Lamitina appealed for President Obama to “step in and right the...
  • GOP Bid to Cut Funding to Planned Parenthood Called “Anti-Constitutional”

    04/09/2011 5:29:53 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 35 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 9 April 2011 | John Semmens
    In explaining why Democrats are willing to shut down the federal government rather than accede to Republican demands that one of the cuts to the deficit be funding for Planned Parenthood, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid characterized the demands as “anti-Constitutional.” “I’m not saying that it rises to the level of unconstitutional,” Reid said. “But it’s pretty darn close. A woman’s right to terminate her pregnancy falls clearly within the ‘pursuit of happiness’ clause. Her right to fully enjoy her body without fear of unwanted consequences is fundamental to our way of life. I can think of no better place...
  • Political Vetting of FOIA Requests Assailed/Defended

    04/04/2011 9:20:40 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chairman Representative Darrell Issa’s (R-Calif) complaint that the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is injecting political bias into the process of responding to freedom of information requests was dismissed as “sour grapes” by Representative Gerald Connelly (D-Va). “Inasmuch as representative Issa himself has characterized DHS’ actions as ‘Nixonian’ I can’t see what his beef is,” Connelly argued. “Nixon was a Republican President. Now the shoe is on the other foot. So what?” “Using a political compass to guide the agency’s response to requests for public documents is unlawful,” Issa asserted. “The fact that a...
  • Senator Says Republicans Abuse Constitutional Freedoms

    03/26/2011 12:29:44 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 March 2011 | John Semmens
    In a speech before a gathering at Planned Parenthood, Senator Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) asserted that Republicans who oppose a woman’s right to choose to terminate a pregnancy “don’t deserve the freedoms that are in the Constitution!” “The right to freedom of speech comes with an obligation to exercise it in a responsible manner,” Lautenberg insisted. “Using freedom of speech to advocate restrictions on a woman’s right to choose is an abuse that ought to be prohibited.” While the Senator acknowledged that “prohibiting such an abuse is currently blocked by the Constitution’s First Amendment. So, for now, we’ll have to let...
  • Illinois Governor Signs Legislation Limiting Death Penalty

    03/13/2011 7:04:39 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 12 March 2011 | John Semmens
    People’s Republic of Illinois Governor Pat Quinn (D) signed legislation that would restrict the imposition of the death penalty in his state to those under nine months of pre-birth age. The signing was accompanied by the commutation of the sentences of all those currently on “death row” in the state’s prisons. The Governor rejected arguments that the heinous acts committed by those sentenced to death might warrant the punishment. “The inhumanity of the death penalty has been a blot on our society for too long,” Quinn said. “We have been subjecting human beings to anxiety and terror. Being held behind...
  • No One Can Make Me Issue Drilling Permits, Says Interior Secretary

    03/07/2011 3:32:49 PM PST · by John Semmens · 50 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 5 March 2011 | John Semmens
    Despite two court findings that his Department’s refusal to issue offshore drilling permits violates the law, Interior Secretary Ken Salazar remains defiant. “If anyone wants to drill they need a permit from me,” Salazar said. “If I don’t want to issue a permit, no one can make me.” The Secretary brushed aside the court rulings as “impotent posturing.” “I see that the court says I’m in the wrong,” Salazar observed. “So what? What are they going to do, send someone to arrest me? Oh wait, the ‘arresting officers’ report to the Chief Executive, not the court. Sorry, I guess the...
  • Gaza Government Urges Boycott of Holocaust Lessons

    03/06/2011 10:12:50 AM PST · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 5 March 2011 | John Semmens
    The Hamas dominated government of Gaza urged school children to cut classes if the subject of the Holocaust is brought up in human rights lessons. The lessons are part of a United Nations’ program aimed at increasing literacy among the 200,000 children enrolled in the UN-run schools in Gaza refugee camps. Gaza Education Minister Mahammad Ashquol complained that “the UN is overstepping its boundaries by exposing our children to this Zionist filth. It is bad enough that the much needed extermination of the Jewish pestilence was short-circuited before its completion, but its portrayal as a crime against humanity is a...
  • Islamic Shooting Not Terrorism Says White House Spokesman

    03/05/2011 10:48:21 AM PST · by John Semmens · 56 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire | 5 March 2011 | John Semmens
    Arid Uka’s shooting spree that killed two US Air Force members in Germany won’t be classified as an act of terror said Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney. This comes despite Uka’s declaration on his Facebook page that he is “a holy warrior against unbelievers” and wants to “strike fear into the hearts of the enemies of Islam.” “The President isn’t terrified,” Carney announced. “I’m not terrified. Are you terrified? If nobody’s terrified how can it be an act of terrorism?” By refusing to classify the attack as an act of terror, the Administration keeps intact its unblemished record of “zero”...