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Actor James Woods rebuked the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) for telling Americans what they should, and shouldn’t say, instead of focusing its attention on the coronavirus pandemic. In a tweet on Friday, the CDC asked Americans “Are you using #inclusive language” and directed them to a CDC.gov webpage titled, “Preferred Terms for Select Population Groups & Communities.” “You nitwits don’t have better things to do in the middle of a PANDEMIC??!!” actor James Woods replied. The CDC webpage lists words and expressions that it says should not be spoken and provides suggested replacements that “represent an ongoing shift toward...

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and...

Mensa Winners The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The...

Jen Psaki, blameless State Department spokeswoman, explained that the hasty evacuation of our embassy in Yemen was not an evacuation but “a reduction in staff.” This proved a problem because the Yemeni government had already announced (and denounced) the “evacuation” — the word normal folks use for the panicky ordering of people onto planes headed out of the country. Thus continues the administration’s penchant for wordplay, the bending of language to fit a political need. This would all be comical and merely peculiar if it didn’t reflect a larger, more troubling reality: The confusion of language is a direct result...

Somewhere, there’s a whiplash lawyer who runs his law office out of a van down by the river who watches the congressional Republicans attempt to negotiate the fiscal cliff crisis and has to turn his head away. John Boehner and his inept coterie of GOP establishment cronies have made every mistake in the book. It’s professionally embarrassing. Frankly, if these hacks were my associates, they’d be on a street corner with signs reading “Will litigate for food.” Congress is famously full of lawyers, but what people don’t understand is that it is really full of bad lawyers. Good lawyers tend...

I was given the honor of judging a word play contest that was put on by iOwnTheWorld, that Freepers may enjoy the results of. The contest is over, but add what you would've submitted to this thread, I've been posting here long enough to know some of the most clever stuff comes out of these threads :-D The rules (as outlined by iOTW's BigFurHat) are simple: The idea is to completely switch the meaning of a sentence midstream, like, the ultimate flip-flop. For example -Obama is the smartest guy in the room would never vote for Obama.This is a sentence...

Often I see Libertarians refer to themselves as "Conservatives" or "Right". Yet, many times, on many web-boards, I see the libertarians taking the same positions as Demonrats, and they seem to support Demonrats over Republicans. I did a bit of research, and I found why this might be the case. Libertarianism is actually in the same political system as Liberalism. http://www.moral-politics.com/xPolitics.aspx?menu=Political_Ideologies&action=Draw&choice=PoliticalIdeologies.All

I need some help with a challenge that was issued me by a co-worker of mine. We were discussing how, since Hollywood is so bereft of ideas, old TV shows are being made into movies and even the old TV show ideas are being reused for new shows (CSI is really Quincy revisited). I thought that it would be fun to combine old TV shows to make the redesign less noticeable or more entertaining. He challenged me as to how many combinations I could work out. The following is what I came up with. Mayberry Vice: In the first episode...