Posted on 12/10/2007 7:07:25 AM PST by RogerFGay
No other topics I write about so consistently provoke passionate personal response as those dealing with systemic discrimination against men. When, for example, I point out double standards for boys and girls in the health care system, or expose the use of bogus statistics around domestic violence, my inbox fills with male gratitude simply for acknowledging an obvious fact: Our culture is profoundly misandric.
Of the myriad forms of discrimination men cite, one looms over the rest: The egregious treatment meted out to fathers in the throes of contested child custody following the "no-fault" divorces most of them did not initiate or desire. My files bulge with stories of disenfranchised fathers ripped from their children's arms and lives. They have lost their homes, their careers, fortunes, friends and reputations, often on the basis of false allegations of abuse (for which their female accusers are virtually never punished). I wouldn't mention such anecdotal evidence, if the anguish in these testimonials didn't jibe with objective data confirming the shameful gender bias that dominates the family law system.
About half of all marriages end in divorce. Women are twice as likely to initiate a divorce as men, largely because they can be fairly sure they'll end up with control of the children. Where shared parenting is the default template, divorce rates plummet. Men are six times as likely as women to commit suicide within the first two years after a separation: That they kill themselves from despair rather than their ex-wives for revenge is, ironically, a tragically eloquent rebuttal to the feminist credo that men are inherently dangerous to women. Although 25% of women make more money than their spouses, 97% of support payers are men (even in cases of shared parenting). Mobility decisions favour women: The psychological comfort to a Vancouver mother of moving near her Toronto-based family will be privileged over the psychological devastation the virtual loss of his children causes the Vancouver-bound father.
Misandry in family law begins with an ideology that views children as the property of women, even though many peer-reviewed studies show children want and need both parents, and no studies show sole parenting by a mother serves children's best interests. This ideology is instilled in judges during training sessions featuring feminism-driven materials, and subsequently often plays out as unaccountable kangaroo courts. The result is that an adversarial mother who initiates a divorce against the will of the father --however indifferent her parenting skills, however superb his and even if the children spend their days with nannies or day care workers --pretty well has a lock on sole custody of the children. If she denies rightful access to the father, she will never be punished at all. Conversely, if he withholds money, he will be criminalized: His picture as a "deadbeat dad" may appear on government-sanctioned Internet sites, and if he goes to jail, as is likely, he will serve a longer sentence than cocaine dealers.
Most men think such kafkaesque scenarios can't happen to them. Happily married men parenting with equal diligence believe in their hearts that men who find themselves savaged by the family law system are congenital losers, or were demonstrably lousy husbands and fathers. Many such "winners" are in for an unpleasant surprise.
"We want to pull away from the idea that parents have rights in relation to their children," said Jennifer Cooper, chair of the Canadian Bar Association's family law section, representing 2,200 divorce lawyers. "Parents" in this statement is the hypocritical lip service feminism pays to humanism: She meant "fathers," for women's rights today are never "pulled away from," only supported or furthered. In the days when children belonged to both their parents, it used to be said that children were "hostages to fortune." Today they are hostages to feminism and the state.
In his new, cleverly titled book, Taken into Custody, Stephen Baskerville, president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, paints a bleak picture of the routine injustice a divorcing father can expect when a woman initiates a divorce. Baskerville baldly warns: "If I have one urgent piece of practical advice for young men today, it is this: Do not marry and do not have children." His book, like many others of the genre, makes a persuasive case. Men should read them. If the system does not become equitable, don't be surprised if men choose increasingly, and with reason, to play their trump card: Voting for equality with their condoms.
Killing the spouse may make more sense...
Hope you brought your asbestos suit today ... you'll need it.
Of course hitmen are generally cheaper than lawyers.
Women can vote for equality by not having premarital sex. Then the selfish men who don't won't marriage and children won't need condoms. They'll only need cold showers.
The answer....PRENUP.....getting married without one..INSANE
I wound up in a lousy basement apartment bearly living from pay check to pay check. After all of these years my ex is divorced from Mr. Wonderful, living in a two bedroom apartment, two daughters that only see her on holidays and a family that shows her nothing but pity. She might have plenty of money, she also has a number of demons in her head (I've spoken with her a couple of times since my daughters were emancipated).
After living under crappy conditions, my wife and I moved to Arizona for awhile and finally wound up here in North Carolina. My wife, God bless her, stayed with me all these years. We have a nice house, an RV to travel around with and a bunch of furry children(5 dogs) that have treated me with more unconditional love then my own daughters ever will.
Do I regret having children, NO. Would I encourage anyone to have children, again, NO. Would I encourage anyone to get married, YES.
I absolutely agree. Poor and lower income people shouldn't get married.
They should have welfare babies just like God intended...
“the two things that make modern heterosexual marriage no different from prostitution or homosexual dalliance.”
Sorry, but my wife is not a prostitute or a guy.
Keep a clear head and read the signs.
Perhaps the best advice posted on this thread. Well said.
(Married 22 years last August, and the secret is - sorry, guys - COMMUNICATION, even when it’s tough).
Colonel, USAFR
My mother used to say that women who gave it away before marriage were stupid.
[This has been a Forrest Gump moment.]
You’re not suggesting a solution, just promoting conflict between men and women. I should point out here, that the problem that’s discussed in the article, is not that men do not wish to commit; it’s the extremely destructive consequences of their commitment - especially when there are children involved. For that, you can thank your two major political parties for creating the most corrupt federal social program empire in history.
Prenups have long since been declared null and void by the courts. Marriage and family are no longer legally classified as private issues, and the consequences of divorce can no longer be related to private contracts, explicit or implied. The consequences are all dictated by arbitrary poltiical decisions. No one is allowed to escape them.
Amen! Same as, “You marry the man, you marry the clan”
I wish I would have learned what loonies my hubby came from. He apparently got all the good genes. ~ netmilsmom
LOL! My ex has a wonderful family, she got all the loony genes...
“Hope you brought your asbestos suit today ... you’ll need it.”
Not so far... Only two responses and both of you suggested it would be less expensive.
Not everyone is going to make a high income. Does that mean a person shouldn’t make a go of it and enjoy all the happiness or sorrow that happens with marriage and children.
I know many young couples who make little cash but live in a world of love and devotion to each other and their children.
Well put, sir.
All 3 points are well stated.
Where???
Indeed. The more you just do not feel like talking about something, the more urgent it is for you to talk about it right away.
They should have welfare babies just like God intended...
Yep. Why buy the cow when the milk is free (W.I.C.)?
>>Men need to find a good traditional woman - and they need to really get to know her and make sure she’s not just putting on a front.<<
Additionally, that she doesn’t buy into feminism’s, Oprah’s, or Lifetime’s mythology as to what a fulfilling relationship looks like.
The “it’s all about meeeeeeeeee!” BS needs to be banished.
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