It’s easy to say when you aren’t the one at home with 7 kids all day!
I ask only that I not have to PAY for anyone else’s daycare. Beyond that, it's none of my business.
I ask only that I not have to PAY for anyone else’s daycare. Beyond that, it's none of my business.
Can you post the whole article on FR? Why is it an excerpt?
It breaks my heart.........
I totally agree with this. My wife stopped working when we had our son and neither one of us ever regretted it. When you factor in the tax penalty, day care costs, gas, and all the other assorted expenses we didn’t really lose much.
THAT is the ugly truth.
Money is MORE important to many parents than spending TIME with their kids. Yes, these parents understand that TIME IS MONEY and more important than their own kids. The priority is clear. Money is MORE important than raising their kids and loving their kids. Is it any wonder that we see more and more headlines about biological parents murdering their own kids for MONEY or because they are tired of them?
They aren't “doing it for the kids”. No. They are chasing the dollar to better themselves and give a few crumbs to the kids to train them up to be narcissistic, materialist, cold hearted people like themselves. Material things and money do NOT replace time and love with those you love.
I decided to stay home when our first was born. (that was over 14 years ago). Believe me, it hasn’t been easy but well worth it. I got the questions/comments like, “what do you do all day? or “I thought you were smarter than that?” Many times a working woman would simply end a conversation with me once she found out that I was a stay at home Mom. That being said, I have three great kids who do well in school, know they are loved, and are the center of our lives. Were/are there times a second incomes would come in handy? Absolutely but I have learned how to budget, save, and look at things as either necessities or luxuries. Just a thought
Cost of daycare for 1 child per month average is $600+
What about travel expenses to and from work, $100+ per mo? Not to mention wear and tear on car.
What about clothing?
What about lunch expenses?
What about mom having to leave work early to pick up sick child, and the lost wages?
I don't think its much of a stretch to assume it cost $1000 a month for mom to work and put 1 child in daycare.
Meaning mom needs to make $1500 a month, or $18,000 a year JUST to break even.
How many women are working for $20-$25,000 a year, giving Uncle Barrack 1/3 in taxes and then spending $12,000 a year on child care and its expenses. Leaving them with virtually nothing at the end, and ruining there children.
By the child is about four years old, most parents have run out of steam with ways to enrich the daily routine *as well as* a situation where the child has peers, and the adults are focused on stimulating the children.
At this point, day care offers a *better* alternative to the kids in several ways. First and foremost it helps them make the first tentative steps to self-sufficiency away from their parents and out of the house, discovering confidence that they can do so without everything collapsing.
Next, they get a whopping big dose of stimulus from just “meet and greet” with other children. And after the initial shock, which is common, the idea that some other adults can act “in loco parentis” is an eye opener as well. They also have to figure out and explore the new place and learn its rules and differences from their home. And finally, the activities provided by a good day care are both novel and interesting compared to their familiarity with what is done at home.
Much of what happens is not obvious. For example, smells, odors, are neurologically some of our strongest and most reliable memories, and so experiencing new smells and food tastes at that age is very important. While at the same time, the senses are very acute, sensitive to harshness and easily overwhelmed. Which is why most young children don’t care for things like dill pickles.
But importantly, putting children in day care before age four may not be as beneficial, as they have very different developmental priorities at that age, and need their parents and the security of a stable home.
Life is just not so simple that we can say this is bad and that is great.
There are great stay at home moms that really spend the time with their children and there are stay at home moms that totally neglect the children even though the children are right with them.
There are working moms that spend as much time with their children as possible and are great moms, then there are working moms that neglect their children even when they are with them.
I hate daycare but I advised my daughters to use organized day care if they had to instead of using a person they did not know for home care. The reason I feel that way is day cares are checked far more often than home care, and there are more workers there to speak up if something is really wrong. Many home care providers are great but many are not licensed and no one checks up on them so how would you know?
My oldest daughter is a single parent and a nurse, she has a circle of friends that are also single parents and they swap child care and have a very good thing going. The children are all friends and the moms are friends and they are familiar with the different likes, dislikes, rules. They all live in the same complex of townhouses so the children can go to their own home after school to change, get their favorite toys, care for pets and what not before going to the neighbors until their mom gets home.
In a perfect world moms would not work away from home and would all be perfect moms, but reality is that everyone must do the best they can with their situation.
Single moms have to be creative, and to say all moms should stay home with their children- how does that work if mom is the only parent? Should she go on welfare- is that what we want?
I did quit working to raise my children and went back to work when my youngest was in middle school, I thought that was ideal for my family, but I would not assume that is right for everyone or that everyone can do that.
Bad parents are just bad parents, and good parents are good parents- day care can’t change that one way or the other.
Ping
ridiculous. all having a stay at home mom does anymore is ensure that 1 parent gets to see them. the working parent still ends up being a stranger.
and unless you’re going to homeschool them, what’s the point? they’ll still end up being raised by someone else after a couple years anyway.
not everyone that has children in daycare is a monster, sometimes its the right thing to do for the kids. better to be able to afford to do things with the kids and be able to give them opportunities they wouldn’t get if forced to live in a tiny house, barely have enough to eat, not have room enough to do anything, and generally be miserable.
Oh the Hugh. Manatee...when FReeper worlds collide. Isn’t one of the tenets of conservatism deciding what is best for ourselves and our families? Period. Outside edicts need not apply? I don’t want Michelle O telling me what to serve for lunch...nor do I want other nannies telling me where that lunch should be served...be it at home; a daycare or a public school. WE should ALL make those choices as we personally see fit for our families situation. Period.
So...IMO (as a mom of five who has stayed home and who has had to go out to work) the culprit is NOT our fellow American’s personal family choices...it is the financial grind down (Obamamonics) that limits how families can make simple choices (like paying the mortgage).
Like minded (politically) fellow conservatives ARE NOT the enemy (as in, who is the nobler parent than thou?). Geesh...
I just emailed my wife and thanked her for staying home with our kids, sent her this article, how heart breaking. I don’t know how anyone could do this to thier kids.
