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AG Nominee Calls Civil Forfeiture “Wonderful Tool” [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 Feb 2015 | John Semmens

Posted on 02/10/2015 12:30:49 PM PST by John Semmens

President Obama’s nominee for Attorney General Loretta Lynch followed up her stunning defense a president’s “right to summarily execute enemies of the state” with fulsome praise for government’s controversial practice of seizing the property and money of people before they are found guilty of a crime, calling it “a wonderful tool.”

“It is difficult to prove someone guilty of a crime under our laws,” Lynch pointed out. “The evidence required is substantial. The ‘beyond reasonable doubt’ standard is daunting. Under Civil Forfeiture, though, there is more leeway. Under this statute, the property or money is accused of illegal actions. Since property and money have no civil rights the government’s chances of success are higher. The burden of proof is on the person trying to reclaim the assets. He must prove to the court’s satisfaction that no crime was committed.”

“The fact that the majority of cash circulating in America has traces of cocaine on it makes proving that this money was not obtained illegally nearly impossible,” Lynch bragged. “The best thing about Civil Forfeiture is that it gives government access to sorely needed resources without having to get an appropriation through the legislature. This increases the amount of funds available for socially beneficial uses by transferring them out of the hands of selfish individuals and into the hands of those dedicated to the collective welfare of all. It’s a win-win situation all around.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://theconservativecitizen.com/2015/02/08/semi-newssemi-satire-5/


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: ag; looting; satire; tyranny

1 posted on 02/10/2015 12:30:49 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

2 posted on 02/10/2015 12:46:32 PM PST by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not A Matter of Opinion)
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To: John Semmens

Too close to truth again John.


3 posted on 02/10/2015 12:47:22 PM PST by doorgunner69
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To: SWAMPSNIPER

Al Sharpton, please answer the white phone (is that racist?)


4 posted on 02/10/2015 12:51:55 PM PST by jennings2004 ("What difference, at this point, does it make!"!)
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