Posted on 03/08/2020 3:22:10 PM PDT by John Semmens
Offering himself as "a prime example of the importance of curing this horrible disease," Democratic candidate for president, former Vice-President Joe Biden, vowed "to spend whatever it takes to find a cure."
"Here's the deal, the polls show that I will beat Trump in the November election," he elaborated. "Admittedly, I have had instances of mental lapses that scare even me. Advisers have reassured me that I will have a staff that will stop me from doing anything crazy or stupid. But staffers aren't elected. The American people deserve to know that their president will receive the best medical care possible. So, we have to have a blank-check approach to not only Alzheimer's, but to cancer, diabetes and poverty. I think that is what voters want. And that is what I pledge to do if I'm elected."
In other Biden news, the candidate pledged to "reappoint Nancy Pelosi as House Speaker if I win in November. If we're going to get anything done it is essential that we play with a full deck. That includes not only the presidency, but also the legislature. If I'm going to have laws to sign, I need a Congress that will pass those laws. Nancy is the best person to ensure that the laws we want get passed. So, yes, I'm definitely going to keep her on my team when I'm president."
Biden also rejected the endorsement of his candidacy by former FBI Director James Comey, calling him "a back-stabber. First he was for Hillary and buried an investigation of her email shenanigans, but late in the 2016 campaign he again raised the issue. He's a rat that can't be trusted. He's lucky to still be alive." Biden did, however, accept the endorsement of former CIA Director John Brennen who called Biden "one of the most honest, decent, practical, and experienced individuals with whom I have ever worked."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=394249.0
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He really did promise this again, last week.
This guy has more whoppers than a Burger King franchise.
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Does this correlate with his shotgun comment?
Bang. Cures your problem.
John I couldn’t even get past the FR headline “Biden Promises Cure for Alzheimer’s”
“You’re killin’ me Smalls”
“This guy has more whoppers than a Burger King franchise.”
Nah, he just forgot he said it.
rwood
“In other Biden news, the candidate pledged to “reappoint Nancy Pelosi as House Speaker if I win in November.”
The guy’s an idiot. The president does not select the speaker of the house. How far can this moron slide until he says something that even his voters can’t handle?
Article I, Section 2 of the U.S. Constitution states, “The House of Representatives shall choose their Speaker and other Officers.” ... When a Congress convenes for the first time, each major party conference or caucus nominates a candidate for Speaker. Members customarily elect the Speaker by roll call vote.
rwood
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