Biden Boasts "Court Can't Stop Me" [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 Feb 2024 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Despite a Supreme Court decision declaring that a president lacks the authority to unilaterally forgive student debt, a chipper Biden boasted "the Court can't stop me. I sign the papers and $138 billion in debts don't have to be repaid. It's as simple as that. Judges have no troops or police officers to arrest me. Democrats in Congress will prevent the Republicans from impeaching me."

Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre explained that "sterile adherence to out-dated notions of a balance of power between the three branches of government must not be allowed to thwart the President from ending the suffering of those who are burdened with excessive debt. Voters recognize this and will reward him with a second term."

Rep. Bob Good (R-Va) called Biden's action "an abuse of power and fundamentally unfair. The debt isn't eliminated. It is merely passed on to taxpayers, many of whom never went to college. Why should those who gained nothing from these loans be burdened with this debt?"

Rep. James Clyburn (D-SC) disagreed with Good, saying that "at a very fundamental level these loans were a scam. The intent of the loan program was to make college more affordable, but universities simply raised tuition and other fees to absorb indecent amounts of the available money. Naive youngsters were lured into the pursuit of essentially worthless degrees with little value to employers. As a matter of equity, these people deserve relief."

Good said "I don't dispute Rep. Clyburn's assessment, but shifting the burden, as President Biden has done, continues the pattern of exploitation by the universities. The ballooning administrative costs, poor quality of instruction, and ethical breaches of plagiarism by professors and administrators remain in-place while the costs of these excesses are passed onto innocent bystanders. We can and must do better than this."

Biden went on to inanely claim that "forgiving this debt also helps those who didn't go to college because everyone benefits from a more highly educated population. Polls consistently show that those with college degrees are more likely to vote Democrat. This is a vital bulwark in our effort to defeat the enemies of democracy that are trying to implement fascism in our country."

In other college news, biology professor Dr. Johnson Varkey who was discharged after four of his students complained that his assertion that a person's sex is determined by their chromosomes "disrespected a person's right to choose for themselves," was reinstated. First Liberty Institute--a law firm specializing in defending religious liberty--came to his defense. A relieved Dr. Varkey said "people can choose what they want to believe, but biology is a matter of science. It is immune to nonscientific beliefs."

If you missed any of the other Semi-News/Semi-Satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/358634-2024-02-24-semi-news-semi-satire-february-25-2024-edition.htm

[cuz1961]

that part about “outdated notions of a balance of power”. That press secretary Jean-Pierre doesn’t seem to have any notion

that whar she said sounds

“insurrectiony” .

[coalminersson]

thanx

[Dr. Franklin]

For profit universities have astounding default rates. When sued, they are protected by federal judges applying federal common law contrary to the Erie doctrine. SCOTUS has refused to address the matter, and that costs the taxpayers gazillions. Congress gets paid off to do nothing. The Republicans could have addressed the student debt problem by writing off debt in exchange for abolishing the U.S. Dept. of Education. They missed their chance, didn't contest the 2020 Big Steal and now the Rats are milking this for political purposes. Writing off the bad debt is the one thing they've done for young Democrat voters. The GOP got caught doing nothing.