Posted on 06/21/2011 9:58:27 PM PDT by jongaltsr
If you have enemies that means you stood up for something in your life. If you have people who “just” dislike you, ignore or avoid you, it is because you’re just a jerk.
In a gunfight you want to be as close to the enemy as possible (This is assuming you are not a professional sniper) In a knife fight you want to get as far as possible. Pick up a rock and throw it or get the gun out of the car.
Women fall in love with flamboyant, good-looking men. They marry the stable, reliable guy. The trouble today is that most women don’t know this fact. Men have never understood this principal or any other facts about women. They get married just because a woman has accepted them (which may not be such a good thing in the end.)
Enjoy sunrises, sunsets, rain, snow. Avoid dust storms, cactus and blind dates.
Marry an ugly or plain woman. They will appreciate you every day. A beautiful woman may make you feel alive for a while, but they are also more likely to leave you for someone else. “Just because!”
Treat your wife the same as your dog. Rub her ears, pet her, and scratch her belly. Give her lots of treats and compliments. Take her for a walk often but leave the leash at home. She will greet you at the door when you come home if you do all of the above. (I just wish it were that simple. I’d be happily married instead of having dogs for the rest of my life.)
“I believe so that I may understand.”
But I like dogs :)
Never be good at something you don’t want to do.
Work is vacation. Vacation is work. That’s been my maxim for decades. If only I could work in a brewery!
The most important truism to remember for the rest of your life is: There is always one more SOB than you expected on any project.
I worked in a Brewery for a short period of time. It is either extremely boring or extremely hard work. Not much in between unless you are a manager.
You'll probably need a new tool
You're going to get wet
My first rule for clearing a stopped toilet
Close your mouth
My one rule for raising children:
No one gets a drivers license without two years experience with a lawn mower
I get more love from a dog than I ever got from a woman.
A dog loves you consistently.
A woman loves you when it is convenient for her.
I loved my wife of twenty one years until she died but I knew she had other things on her mind 98% of the time. My dogs always paid attention to me when I wanted their attention or not.
Thusly they got more attention from me than I ever got to share with my wife (God love her though, I still miss her).
“My two rules of plumbing: “
Water flows up and crap flows down.
Nothing lasts forever unless it does.
It appears we have things in common.
Living in the desert, I've found a truism along this line: If it needs shaping, pruning, or maintenace it's got either thorns, stickers, or needles.
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