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McAuliffe Blames Loss On Low 3AM Ballot Turnout
BabylonBee.com ^ | 11-4-2021 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 11/04/2021 1:49:33 PM PDT by servo1969

RICHMOND, VA--Terry McAuliffe's loss in the Virginia gubernatorial race has sent shock waves through the Democrat establishment. Some are blaming the rise of racism, domestic terrorist parents of public-school students, and lack of understanding of true Marxism for the loss. After careful study of the results, however, the campaign determined the true cause was a shockingly low turnout among 3 a.m. ballots.

"Yeah, our ground game was clearly to blame," said McAuliffe to tearful reporters. "After studying the numbers, there is just no way to sugarcoat our failure to turn out the 3 a.m. ballots. Bottom line is, we simply came up short. The votes in the key 3 a.m. demographic just weren't there."

The DNC is looking closely at what went wrong in Virginia to make sure they don't repeat the mistakes in the crucial 2022 election. So far, the clear takeaway is simply to make sure they have enough ballots in reserve to make up for a rise in racism, pornophobia, LGBTQaphobia, Islamophobia, and Marxismaphobia among the voters.

"We thought we had it in the bag with all the early vote ballots, all the absentee ballots, all the dead voter ballots, and frankly we got a little lazy and let the country down," said McAuliffe campaign head Biff Tannen. "Let this be a lesson to all Democrat candidates facing an election in this hostile environment full of terrorist parents who don't want their girls raped in school bathrooms by guys wearing skirts. Do not rely on actual people voting for Democrats! The 3 a.m. ballot demographic is key to Democrat victory from now on."

Democrat strategists also determined to push the wildly popular CRT a little more next time.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor
KEYWORDS: 2021; babylonbee; ballot; mcauliffe; satire; terrymcauliffe
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To: servo1969
"We thought we had it in the bag with all the early vote ballots, all the absentee ballots, all the dead voter ballots, and frankly we got a little lazy and let the country down," said McAuliffe campaign head Biff Tannen.

Great Scott!

21 posted on 11/04/2021 2:29:23 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: servo1969

DAMN THE BEE!!! almost choked on the headline... cause it’s TRUE!


22 posted on 11/04/2021 2:31:41 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: servo1969

Giant LOL!


23 posted on 11/04/2021 2:34:14 PM PDT by MHGinTN (A dispensation perspective is a powerful tool for discernment)
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To: servo1969

The Swamp was OK with him losing. If they thought he was worth the 3 a.m. ballot dump, he would have won.


24 posted on 11/04/2021 2:37:23 PM PDT by UnwashedPeasant (The pandemic we suffer from is not COVID. It is Marxist Democrat Leftism.)
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To: servo1969

Why can’t McAuliffe tell it like it is, that the democrats messed up and that is why they lost. They allowed Merrick Garland to sick the DOJ on American citixens and call them domestic terrorists. They allowed Biden to impoose mandates on people whw have beem freightened by media with stupid reports of bizzare but unproven side affects from innoculations. Imstead of sitting on evil journalists who produce these reports, they are imposing mandates on scared people who are not given the truth. How about being straight with the people.


25 posted on 11/04/2021 2:38:23 PM PDT by maxwellsmart_agent
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To: servo1969

When Youngkin was only winning by a couple points when I went to bed, Mr. NEMDF said it looked like we had a win there.

I said, “...don’t you remember ALL OF THE GRAPHS showing how the lead went up for Biden at 3 a.m.?....”

I fully expected this to happen in VA this week, but think they are trying to let us relax about election fraud going forward.....


26 posted on 11/04/2021 2:41:23 PM PDT by NEMDF
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To: servo1969

This is way too true.


27 posted on 11/04/2021 2:46:02 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith)
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To: RainMan; Spok

It’s SUPPOSED TO BE a joke. Well satire, actually, but IMO probably far closer to reality than we’d like to see.


28 posted on 11/04/2021 2:47:13 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith)
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To: maxwellsmart_agent

I think that the democrats really do not understand that they are the ones who messed up that bad.

I think they are that deluded.


29 posted on 11/04/2021 2:49:57 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith)
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To: servo1969

That was good. (I clicked before noticing that it was BabylonBee.)


30 posted on 11/04/2021 2:54:34 PM PDT by roninoronoco
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To: servo1969; All

“3am ballots” is code for fraud.


31 posted on 11/04/2021 3:00:39 PM PDT by Cobra64 (Common sense isn’t common anymore.)
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To: servo1969

The 3 AM ballots are on a cargo ship from China, but they’re stuck and can’t get to port. They’ll get here eventually.


32 posted on 11/04/2021 3:11:27 PM PDT by TBP (Decent people cannot fathom the amoral cruelty of the Biden regime.)
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To: nascarnation

McAuliffe just doesn’t get it.


33 posted on 11/04/2021 3:16:00 PM PDT by chopperk
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To: servo1969

The way things are going in this country, when I see a headline like this, I think it’s only a 50/50 shot it’s from the Babylon Bee.


34 posted on 11/04/2021 3:20:14 PM PDT by GreenHornet
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To: RightOnTheBorder
'This is supposed to be satire but Youngkin's lead shrank significantly between midnight and 3 am."
Fairfax County and some others tried, but they didn't try hard enough and the clock ran out.
35 posted on 11/04/2021 5:15:38 PM PDT by Hiddigeigei ("Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish," said Dionysus - Euripides)
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To: servo1969

All those preprinted McCauliffe ballots made in China stuck on one of those freighters stuck at anchor off the coast still waiting to get unloaded LMAO!!


36 posted on 11/04/2021 5:22:48 PM PDT by dsm69 (Boycott News Media/Hollywood Advertisers )
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