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8 Changes Biden Made To Title IX
Babylon Bee ^ | Apr 25, 2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/26/2024 10:23:20 AM PDT by dayglored

President Joe Biden made significant changes to Title IX last week, expanding the definition of the word "woman" to an emoji of someone shrugging followed by a pride flag. There were other changes, however, that flew under the radar.

The Babylon Bee has compiled the following comprehensive list of Title IX changes imposed by the Biden administration:

  1. Every women's bathroom must now have glitter dispensers for drag queens: It's always important to freshen up with new glitter after a trip to the restroom.

  2. Breastfeeding in public is outlawed as it may make trans women feel inadequate: Making the men pretending to be women feel more comfortable is always the top priority.

  3. Free testicular cancer screenings for all women's athletic programs: It's a little-known fact that men make up 100% of the testicular cancer cases in women's sports.

  4. Maximum beard length standards for women's sports: Player safety takes a hit when athletes are tripping over their long, dwarf-like beards.

  5. Women's sports will get 22% more funding now that men can play: Being willing to embrace change can sometimes pay off!

  6. All teams must have at least one designated gross pervert: Expect long lines at the tryouts to fill the DGP positions.

  7. Ladies' rooms must now have an equal number of toilets and urinals: No discrimination against dudes in the ladies' room will be tolerated.

  8. All women's teams will be required to have at least one real woman: It's antiquated, yes, but tradition must be upheld.

Don't worry, many of these changes will be completely unnoticeable…as long as you don't notice half of the incoming freshmen on the teams being 6'5" with deep voices and full beards.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Humor; Society; Sports
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; satire; savewomenssports; titleix; transgender
IT'S THE BEE !!
1 posted on 04/26/2024 10:23:20 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored

Now we need a FReeper to post “...an emoji of someone shrugging followed by a pride flag...”.


2 posted on 04/26/2024 10:25:11 AM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored
The regulations don’t just cover college sports, but everything that happens in any school from kindergarten on up. In reading the regulations you discover sexual stereotypes are male and female. In reading you find court cases sited among comments, and that the DOE makes its own decisions about which to follow. If anyone has a problem, they can appeal to the Administrative Court within the DOE.

Nondiscrimination on the Basis of Sex in Education Programs or Activities Receiving Federal Financial Assistance

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/t9-unofficial-final-rule-2024.pdf

Now how does all relate to our Constitution? There is a huge back story here, but let’s begin with FDR. Franklin Roosevelt established a myriad of agencies staffed by unelected, unconfirmed experts who ruled and did not serve citizens.

Instead of legislating, a compliant Congress created legislators residing within impenetrable agencies. Instead of inherent individual liberties constraining government, a host of bureaucrats conferred rights upon and applied constraints to those who were citizens. Later Congresses followed the same path.

The best article I have found so far on the subject is called The History and Danger of Administrative Law by Philip Hamburger. I linked to it below. Such power harks back to discretions of English kings unrestrained by Parliament found in such places as King’s Council and the Star Chamber. Hamburger reminds us the Constitution says, “’All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States”. He then says, “The word ‘all’ was not placed there by accident. The Framers understood that delegation had been a problem in English history, and the word ‘all’ was placed there precisely to bar it”.

The History and Danger of Administrative Law

https://constitutionclub.wordpress.com/2014/10/01/the-history-and-danger-of-administrative-law/

Little remains of our Republic, but all may not yet be lost. On April 14, 2023, the Supreme Court in a 9 to 0 ruling struck a blow supporting our Constitution and individual liberties. The Court acted to reassert the jurisdiction of district and circuit courts and the legislative branch. Justice Elana Kagan delivered the unanimous opinion of the court saying, “One respondent attacks as well the combination of prosecutorial and adjudicatory functions in a single agency….They maintain in essence that the agencies as currently structured, are unconstitutional in much of their work”.

Until that ruling permeates the Administrative State it looks like daughters and granddaughters are in for some unpleasant experiences.

Supreme Court 9, Administrative State 0

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/4145682/posts

3 posted on 04/26/2024 11:20:34 AM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: Retain Mike
Good reading, thanks for that comment.

Unfortunately, the current Administrative State will continue to openly defy and/or ignore the Supreme Court ruling. It will sit there, all those millions of administrative non-elected petty tyrants, the mass of them a fat and gross slug like Jabba The Hutt, making pronouncements that endeavor to rule our every movement.

And it will continue to rule us until some citizens, like enslaved Princess Leia, figure out a way to strangle the beast, and put the plan into action.

In the meantime, we dance for its pleasure with a chain on a collar around our collective neck.

4 posted on 04/26/2024 11:51:31 AM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored
I never have much good to say about these creatures as in this sentence from another of my letters.

"A ruling class of predatory lizards with their insatiable appetite for power and indefatigable pressing of perverse initiatives resolves the principles of Cultural Marxism to ever greater fiduciary powers to compel a subservience of citizens never intended by our Constitution."

I worked for a city and a county government, but in accounting so I was able to observe their unconscienceable behaviors.

5 posted on 04/26/2024 1:26:30 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: Retain Mike
Sadly, I have come to the realization that our Constitution, "made for a moral and religious people" per John Adams, has indeed proven woefully inadequate for the governance of what America has become. We -- as a generalization -- have fallen far short of the Founders' hopes and expectations.

We no longer desire to govern ourselves in peaceful coexistence with those we share the country with, despite our disagreements. We no longer desire to earn our keep through honest work, provide for the safety and happiness of ourselves and our families, and support the common good.

I don't see a way out of the current situation, social, political, or otherwise. I consider myself fortunate to have lived through some of the best years of America's life (I was born in 1952), but I am saddened to think that I'll have to live through her decline.

6 posted on 04/26/2024 2:25:13 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored; Reverend Wright

The progressives, liberals, and Democrats are predatory, evil, and determined. Charitably, the Republicans are imbecilic and craven. In think Ronald Reagan was the last major politician to see value in the finest government humans have created. If I remember correctly, the party could not get rid of him soon enough.


7 posted on 04/26/2024 2:55:53 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: dayglored; Retain Mike

Like they say:

-denial
-anger
-bargaining
-depression
-acceptance

US conservatives are now having to go thru what those of us in the UK and Canada have already seen.

(Or maybe in the USA the illusion was more powerful, and it took longer to break down.)

We see each of the Five Stages from different people on this website.


8 posted on 04/26/2024 3:53:16 PM PDT by Reverend Wright ( Everything touched by progressives, dies !)
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To: Reverend Wright
> We see each of the Five Stages from different people on this website.

About 15 years ago, shortly after Obama first took office, I read about the Cloward-Piven Strategy. Its goal was the redistribution of income and wealth, mandated by an all-powerful socialist federal government.

At the time I considered it a foolish academic idealistic plan that obviously wouldn't work in America. How wrong I was.

As the Obama years went by I reflected on his promise to "fundamentally transform America", and eventually I put two and two together. They didn't have to overload the welfare system as C-P suggested. Instead they would simply collapse society by sabotaging our societal values, traditions, etc. They would make America "amoral and unreligious" and thus undermine the very things that made the Constitution work.

And they have pretty much succeeded.

So which of the 5 stages am I at? Not denial. I am angry, yes. I'm not interested in bargaining, and while I'm saddened I'm not depressed. I have had to accept the situation, mainly because my wife was stricken with incurable bone/blood cancer a few years ago, and caring for her while still trying to work doesn't allow me time to do much else.

9 posted on 04/26/2024 4:18:09 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: Retain Mike

Sorry, forgot to ping you on my last comment #9 above.


10 posted on 04/26/2024 4:19:12 PM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: Reverend Wright
Several years ago, I gave up on the Republicans and joined the Constitution Party. Its mission is:

"The mission of the Constitution Party is to secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity through the election, at all levels of government, of Constitution Party candidates who will uphold the principles of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution of the United States, and the Bill of Rights. It is our goal to limit the federal government to its delegated, enumerated, Constitutional functions."

Well, at least it conforms to the oath I took as a Navy officer.

11 posted on 04/26/2024 4:24:04 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: dayglored; Retain Mike

” About 15 years ago, shortly after Obama first took office, I read about the Cloward-Piven Strategy. Its goal was the redistribution of income and wealth, mandated by an all-powerful socialist federal government. “


There are different ways to look at this. I think the first thing to recognize is that this is not new. C-P is a specifically American implementation of a much older strategy.

de Jouvenal proposed that there was a strategy of High+Low against the Middle, which declining elites have often employed not maintain their power.

The Elite basically tax/rob the Middle to pay off the Low, and enrich themselves.

There are many examples of Revolutionary movements in the last two centuries doing this. Certain medieval kings and princes did it. The Roman Senatorial elite definitely did it.

One common strategy is they almost always supplement the numbers of the “Low” by bringing in people from outside the country. Often as slaves, sometimes as migrants or mercenaries. Those people are not tied to existing institutions of the Middle, and get paid off by helping the High take it away from the Middle.

And if you look across the West, that is exactly what we have.

And the “conservative” politicians who pretend to represent the Middle, they are actually part of the High, and are helping with the High-Low strategy.


12 posted on 04/26/2024 5:10:28 PM PDT by Reverend Wright ( Everything touched by progressives, dies !)
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To: Nailbiter

l8r


13 posted on 04/28/2024 11:45:14 AM PDT by Nailbiter
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To: Retain Mike

Then George H.W. Bush got rid of conservative appointees in the U.S. Government. Just another elitist (RIP).


14 posted on 04/28/2024 12:21:30 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Your post brings to mind the worst transgression I hold him accountable for and have not thought about for quite a while.

Under H. W., Iraqi Arabs revolted with United States encouragement to be then abandoned as Hussein’s forces launched a successful campaign murdering tens of thousands for final repression and retribution. Bush made a speech hoping to incite a military coup to topple Hussein by saying, “There is another way for the bloodshed to stop and that is for the Iraqi military and people to take matters into their own hands and force Saddam Hussein, the dictator to step aside and then comply with the United Nations resolutions and rejoin the family of peace-loving nations”. As former Director of the Central Intelligence Agency he knew that such information should have been transmitted covertly to a selected few.

This probably sealed the fate of a unified Iraqi government because this deception and inaction was so egregious it overcame millennia of animosity between the Semites of Assyria/Iraq and the Caucasians/Aryans of Persia/Iran. The abandonment of the “Swamp Arabs” in their hour of crisis evoked a deathless memory which crippled subsequent efforts. Had the United States never promoted the open revolt or behaved with integrity when it did sponsor it, then Muqtada al-Sadr would never have had a forum to become one of the most influential religious and political figures in Iraq, despite not holding an official title.

This act of intellectual dwarfism leading to negligent homicide was similar to the Warsaw Uprising. The Polish Resistance rose at Joseph Stalin’s encouragement as the Red Army closed in on Warsaw. The Soviets broadcast, “For Warsaw, which did not yield but fought on, the hour of action has already arrived. All is lost that is not saved by active effort and by direct active struggle”. The Red army then stopped as the Germans regrouped and demolished the city in the next two months. The Nazis inflicted nearly 200,000 casualties in defeating resistance fighters and slaughtering civilians mainly by mass execution. Therefore, H. W. accomplished through gross negligence the same result Stalin achieved by malicious intent. In both cases those individuals who could have been vital in the effort to establish a new government were eliminated.

15 posted on 04/28/2024 4:08:33 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I forgot to include the links I used for that part of an essay.

1991 uprisings in Iraq

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1991_uprisings_in_Iraq

Muqtada al-Sadr

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muqtada_al-Sadr

Warsaw Uprising

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warsaw_Uprising

16 posted on 04/28/2024 5:50:27 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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